# I’m Cheating on My Deployed Boyfriend



## Misfit

I'm Cheating on My Deployed Boyfriend | Military.com

My boyfriend of three years is currently deployed in AFG. I had been thinking of breaking up with him when he got back because I just don’t see a future for us together due to many different issues. However, I have met someone else, completely by accident, was not looking to cheat or anything. But I really enjoy being with this new person and have already become intimate with him. I can’t even believe I’m writing that because I am so against cheating and have never cheated before. The new guy knows about my boyfriend because I told him, but he knows that I am planning on breaking up with him. I feel terrible and don’t know what to do. I never imagined I would do something like this. I feel deceitful and am always lying when my boyfriend calls and asks where I’ve been and who I’ve been out with. I just want to do the right thing, even if it’s the tough thing, but I don’t know what that is. Should I come clean with my boyfriend now while he is overseas and has no friends or family around him, or should I hold out and keep lying to him for the next few months he’s over there? I already tried to suggest to him that I was unsure of where our relationship would go when he returned, and he’s already torn up about that.


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## vraiblonde




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## Lurk

She needs to be straight with her deployed boyfriend before the baby bump becomes evident.  She should probably also move out of his Mom's basement.


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## FED_UP

THE bEITCH should tell him now because he might brake her face in person, what if that was the dude that shot the 16 civilian overseas, he already knows.


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## vraiblonde

> I just want to do the right thing


It's a little bit late for that.


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## Gilligan

Misfit said:


> [ or should I hold out and keep lying to him for the next few months he’s over there? .



Dear Cheatums:

Since yr apparently a reasonably skilled liar, why mess up a good thing now? Who knows?...you might find out bf #2 is a bipolar axe-murderer..or even worse, is nhboy. Best to keep your options open.

Yr welcome.


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## dan0623_2000

*Cheatin'*

As long as she can run faster than 1500 feet per second, I do not forsee a problem here.  Besides, he is probably cheating on her with some of those nice Civil service and contractor ladies over there making the big bucks.  I know of one that is doing her second tour over there and it ain't because of the salary from her job!!!!!!


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## PsyOps

I see Dr. Phil in her future.


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## Hank

wonder if she has a titanium leg....


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## lovinmaryland

Just tell him and shut the #### up about it.  Whiny #####.


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## ~mellabella~

Misfit said:


> I'm Cheating on My Deployed Boyfriend | Military.com
> 
> completely by accident





Aw the poor dear must have tripped and landed on his penis. 

Ok I know, that wasn't polite. But seriously? I think he has enough to worry about without her adding to the stress of deployment. If she really cared at all she would have waited until she broke up with him and THEN gotten with the new dude. Not before hand.


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## chernmax

If he calls her a slut, do you think she'll get a call from the Prez???


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## pixiegirl

I will volunteer to punch her square in her face.  I'm such a patriot!


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## Chasey_Lane

lovinmaryland said:


> Just tell him and shut the #### up about it.  Whiny #####.



If the article would have said "husband" I think you and I would know who they are talking about.


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## itsbob

chernmax said:


> If he calls her a slut, do you think she'll get a call from the Prez???



Bristol posted that she is still waiting for her phone/call apology from the President for Bill Maher's comments about her and her mother..  

President's staff actually replied that she's comparing the defacto LEADER of the Republican Party to an entertainer.. 

How did we EVER elect these morons??


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## twinoaks207

Gilligan said:


> Dear Cheatums:
> 
> Since yr apparently a reasonably skilled liar, why mess up a good thing now? Who knows?...you might find out bf #2 is a bipolar axe-murderer..or even worse, is nhboy. Best to keep your options open.
> 
> Yr welcome.





Especially since you gotta wonder about a guy who would make time with the girlfriend of a guy deployed over in Afghanistan.  Doesn't seem like that kind of guy would be hardly worth it now would it?


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## Misfit

twinoaks207 said:


> Especially since you gotta wonder about a guy who would make time with the girlfriend of a guy deployed over in Afghanistan.  Doesn't seem like that kind of guy would be hardly worth it now would it?



It's a guy...you know how most of *them* are!


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## twinoaks207

Misfit said:


> It's a guy...you know how most of *them* are!



Evidently you hang out with a different kind of guy than I do. The ones I know seem to have morals.


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## Pete

I was cheated on while on deployment.  As bad as it was I am actually glad she didn't spring it on me until I was back home.  Who needs that stress while you are thousands of miles away and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it but sit and stew?


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## SoMD_Fun_Guy

twinoaks207 said:


> Especially since you gotta wonder about a guy who would make time with the girlfriend of a guy deployed over in Afghanistan.  Doesn't seem like that kind of guy would be hardly worth it now would it?



Maybe bf #2 didn't find out about bf #1 overseas until after she rode the wild pony with him.

Maybe bf #2 wants nothing to do with her now cuz he thinks that bf #1 will get back stateside with severe PTSD and lookin for somethin or someone to set him off.

:shrug:


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## Hank

twinoaks207 said:


> The ones I know seem to have morals.



pussies


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## Baja28

Gilligan said:


> Dear *NitWit*:
> 
> Since yr apparently a reasonably skilled liar, why mess up a good thing now? Who knows?...you might find out *Juggy* is a bipolar axe-murderer..or even worse, is nhboy. Best to keep your options open.
> 
> Yr welcome.


:fixed:


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## mamatutu

Hank said:


> pussies



Hey HankSo you are saying that twinoaks knows cats that have morals? Learn something new everyday!


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## SoMD_Fun_Guy

mamatutu said:


> Hey HankSo you are saying that twinoaks knows cats that have morals? Learn something new everyday!



Yup!


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## Nickel

Baja28 said:


> :fixed:


I wonder if she's still a mess.


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## Cheeky1

Misfit said:


> I'm Cheating on My Deployed Boyfriend | Military.com
> 
> My boyfriend of three years is currently deployed in AFG. I had been thinking of breaking up with him when he got back because I just don’t see a future for us together due to many different issues. However, I have met someone else, completely by accident, was not looking to cheat or anything. But I really enjoy being with this new person and have already become intimate with him. I can’t even believe I’m writing that because I am so against cheating and have never cheated before. The new guy knows about my boyfriend because I told him, but he knows that I am planning on breaking up with him. I feel terrible and don’t know what to do. I never imagined I would do something like this. I feel deceitful and am always lying when my boyfriend calls and asks where I’ve been and who I’ve been out with. I just want to do the right thing, even if it’s the tough thing, but I don’t know what that is. Should I come clean with my boyfriend now while he is overseas and has no friends or family around him, or should I hold out and keep lying to him for the next few months he’s over there? I already tried to suggest to him that I was unsure of where our relationship would go when he returned, and he’s already torn up about that.



Well, I guess he knows now.....or he will soon!


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## kom526

Phuckin Jody and Susie


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## Toxick

Misfit said:


> I can’t even believe I’m writing that because I am so against cheating




What an ignorant whore.


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## daylily

Toxick said:


> What an ignorant whore.



Yep, that about sums it up.


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## aps45819

In Norfolk, we called them "Med Widows"


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## Bann

Pete said:


> I was cheated on while on deployment.  As bad as it was I am actually glad she didn't spring it on me until I was back home.  Who needs that stress while you are thousands of miles away and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it but sit and stew?



  Well, there's that.


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## Ohiogirl

Pete said:


> I was cheated on while on deployment.  As bad as it was I am actually glad she didn't spring it on me until I was back home.  Who needs that stress while you are thousands of miles away and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it but sit and stew?



100% agree.  As crappy as this chick is...I hope she has enough love for this guy that she waits until he is back on U.S soil.  He can loose focus on mission thinking about her dumbass cheating ways.  I hope this new guy cheats on her.  What comes around, goes around.


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## RPMDAD

Agree with Petes point of view, so if i were her i would start the letter off with.
Dear John, i am such a whore and not deserving of you, wish you the best. signed slut girl. Hopefully that would not hurt his feelings to much and make her feel better too.


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## itsbob

SoMD_Fun_Guy said:


> Maybe bf #2 didn't find out about bf #1 overseas until after she rode the wild pony with him.
> 
> Maybe bf #2 wants nothing to do with her now cuz he thinks that bf #1 will get back stateside with severe PTSD and lookin for somethin or someone to set him off.
> 
> :shrug:



HER?

That's quite the assumption....  Nowhere is it said the cheating whore is a her...


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## Dakota

I’ve always been in the opinion that if somebody wants to leave, let them.  Your future and destiny is not tied to another person’s and when you learn that somebody you care about is or wants to be with another, sure it hurts… sure it is painful… but I would rather somebody not speak to me and pretend for a second that they care about me when they don’t any more.  Now if we had children together, married, that’s different – I’d have to think about that some more but off the fly, I will say it might be best to wait until I got home to discuss those complicated details & to tell me there is somebody else.


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## mamatutu

PsyOps said:


> I see Dr. Phil in her future.



Dr. Phil oof:


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## Mabus

When we would return from regular 80, 90, 100 day deployments with very little to no contact with family, we always knew who came home to an empty house or divorce papers on the table. Out of 160 of us maybe 75 were married...of those 75, 20 would have to stay on the boat for duty....of that 55 that went home, there would always be 2-3 guys that came back to the boat, head down on a table on the mess decks, and you just knew.....you just knew. And you waited. Because when we found that SOB, especially if he was military also, we beat. His. Ass.


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## mamatutu

Mabus said:


> When we would return from regular 80, 90, 100 day deployments with very little to no contact with family, we always knew who came home to an empty house or divorce papers on the table. Out of 160 of us maybe 75 were married...of those 75, 20 would have to stay on the boat for duty....of that 55 that went home, there would always be 2-3 guys that came back to the boat, head down on a table on the mess decks, and you just knew.....you just knew. And you waited. Because when we found that SOB, especially if he was military also, we beat. His. Ass.



You made my heart hurt...I think all of you that fight for our country are the most awesome Americans ever...you volunteer now...there is no draft...and the women/men that leave their soldier heroes because they are not home, are idiots...they think they will find better mates?...NOT!...I am married to a former Marine who went to Vietnam...and you know the homecoming they got...hate Jane Fonda...I am playing the National Anthem in my head right now for you and all that came before and after you that defended our country...and I guess that has to include the losers that live amongst us...God bless you...


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## Hank

mamatutu said:
			
		

> I am playing the National Anthem in my head right now for you



Scary...


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## mamatutu

Hank said:


> Scary...



Hey Hank!You should be scared!...but I am here for you!


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## Vince

Gilligan said:


> Dear Cheatums:
> 
> Since yr apparently a reasonably skilled liar, why mess up a good thing now? Who knows?...you might find out bf #2 is a bipolar axe-murderer..*or even worse, is nhboy*. Best to keep your options open.
> 
> Yr welcome.


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## withrespect

This woman is an incompassionate idiot.  And since the new "boyfriend" assisted in the cheating while her boyfriend was DEPLOYED, he will probably cheat on her as well because he lacks moral integrity.

"If they do it with you, they'll do it to you." I know it is not true in ALL cases... but  

Stupid cheating whore.  I hope she chokes on a condom.


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## pixiegirl

Pete said:


> I was cheated on while on deployment.  As bad as it was I am actually glad she didn't spring it on me until I was back home.  Who needs that stress while you are thousands of miles away and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it but sit and stew?





Ohiogirl said:


> 100% agree.  As crappy as this chick is...I hope she has enough love for this guy that she waits until he is back on U.S soil.  He can loose focus on mission thinking about her dumbass cheating ways.  I hope this new guy cheats on her.  What comes around, goes around.




I agree that she should wait to tell him. I have watched someone I care for very deeply go through something similar and have seen what it can do to their head.  

A friend of mine from my early 20's is on his 3rd round in the middle east.  Haven't seen him since I was pregnant with #1, so probably around 11 years. He's in the Army and once he moved away from the area we haven't seen each other.  We've maintained casual contact via email throughout the years.  Early last summer biatch ass wife decides that she can't take it and leaves him while he's in Iraq.  He's got a very loving and supportive family and a healthy amount of friends but that doesn't replace the intimate relationship you have with a significant other.  Our conversations went from very friendly to him looking to me to fill that void.  He's a strong smart guy but it's hard going from being in an awful place being with someone to all the sudden being in a miserable situation and feeling alone.  He's making all kinda of plans about us "being together" when he gets home.  I haven't seen him in over 10 years, he'll be at Ft. Bragg and then FL, and it's just not his personality to be so flighty.  He's hurt and alone and looking to fill the void.  I believe if she'd had the decency to wait he wouldn't be wrapping his head around something so unrealistic with me.  The moral of the story is the whore in the OP should definitely wait till he comes back, no matter how strong someone is they're already in a jacked up situation and they shouldn't have to be preoccupied with a crappy personal life when they're already physically and emotionally drained.


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## SoMD_Fun_Guy

pixiegirl said:


> I agree that she should wait to tell him. I have watched someone I care for very deeply go through something similar and have seen what it can do to their head.
> 
> A friend of mine from my early 20's is on his 3rd round in the middle east.  Haven't seen him since I was pregnant with #1, so probably around 11 years. He's in the Army and once he moved away from the area we haven't seen each other.  We've maintained casual contact via email throughout the years.  Early last summer biatch ass wife decides that she can't take it and leaves him while he's in Iraq.  He's got a very loving and supportive family and a healthy amount of friends but that doesn't replace the intimate relationship you have with a significant other.  Our conversations went from very friendly to him looking to me to fill that void.  He's a strong smart guy but it's hard going from being in an awful place being with someone to all the sudden being in a miserable situation and feeling alone.  He's making all kinda of plans about us "being together" when he gets home.  I haven't seen him in over 10 years, he'll be at Ft. Bragg and then FL, and it's just not his personality to be so flighty.  He's hurt and alone and looking to fill the void.  I believe if she'd had the decency to wait he wouldn't be wrapping his head around something so unrealistic with me.  The moral of the story is the whore in the OP should definitely wait till he comes back, no matter how strong someone is they're already in a jacked up situation and they shouldn't have to be preoccupied with a crappy personal life when they're already physically and emotionally drained.



So your friend is trying to have you fill that SO role for him.  From what you wrote it sounds like you are not interested in him that way.  Did you tell him this from the start once you noticed his attempt to fill that void with you?  Or are you just trying to be there for him now and will tell him when he completes his current tour?  

It sounds like a very delicate situation.  It's not fair to you or him.  And in the end he loses either way.    I agree that his ex-wife is a biotch for putting him threw this.


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## SoMDGirl42

Everything I was going to say about the girlfriend has already been said. My ex was deployed, ALOT. I never once cheated.

But, don't think those on deployment aren't doing the same to the loved ones waiting for them at home. Happens all the time. Difference is, they're over there knocking boots and come home to loving husbands and wives and pretend like nothing happened. I saw it many times. Everyone else knew who they were banging except for their spouse. Worse case was friend of mine. She found out shortly before deployment that she was pregnant. Went throught the entire pregnancy alone and delivered the baby 3 weeks before he came home. When he got home, he informed her that he had fallen in love with a woman that was on deployment with him and he was going home with her. He never even went to see his newborn baby girl. Left her high and dry.

Humans are shiaty. Stick with pets, they love unconditionally


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## Dakota

Some of you are rather harsh on this girl.  She is only a girlfriend.  If this was some sort of serious relationship – she’d be his fiancée or a wife – but she is _just _a girlfriend.  

If she sucks at being separated for periods of time now as a girlfriend, she is not going to do well as a wife or mother with children while he is away.  She needs to do him a favor – cut him free and move on.


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## pixiegirl

SoMD_Fun_Guy said:


> So your friend is trying to have you fill that SO role for him.  From what you wrote it sounds like you are not interested in him that way.  Did you tell him this from the start once you noticed his attempt to fill that void with you?  Or are you just trying to be there for him now and will tell him when he completes his current tour?
> 
> It sounds like a very delicate situation.  It's not fair to you or him.  And in the end he loses either way.    I agree that his ex-wife is a biotch for putting him threw this.



At first I laughed it off.  When I realized that he was totally serious (sending flowers and other stuff to the house fairly regularly) I addressed the issue very honestly; I adore him but don't have any unrealistic expectations on where things are headed and he shouldn't either.  Prince Charming hasn't landed in my lap in my 32 years so I doubt it will happen in the next 2 months.  If I do end up involved with someone the person I'm with will KNOW up front before I commit that I plan on being in NC when he comes home in May.  There's not much in this world that will stop me from that.


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## pixiegirl

Dakota said:


> Some of you are rather harsh on this girl.  She is only a girlfriend.  If this was some sort of serious relationship – she’d be his fiancée or a wife – but she is _just _a girlfriend.
> 
> If she sucks at being separated for periods of time now as a girlfriend, she is not going to do well as a wife or mother with children while he is away.  She needs to do him a favor – cut him free and move on.




She said they had been together for 3 years, I'd say that's pretty serious.


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## daylily

Mabus said:


> When we would return from regular 80, 90, 100 day deployments with very little to no contact with family, we always knew who came home to an empty house or divorce papers on the table. Out of 160 of us maybe 75 were married...of those 75, 20 would have to stay on the boat for duty....of that 55 that went home, there would always be 2-3 guys that came back to the boat, head down on a table on the mess decks, and you just knew.....you just knew. And you waited. Because when we found that SOB, especially if he was military also, we beat. His. Ass.



That is so sad. Not entirely surprising, unfortunately, but you really give those of us who aren't military a clear picture of all the sacrifices they make for us. I can't imagine leaving a spouse in such a cold hearted manner. Disgusting, really, and so disrespectful. And the cheating.......nothing trashier, imo.


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## SoMD_Fun_Guy

pixiegirl said:


> At first I laughed it off.  When I realized that he was totally serious (sending flowers and other stuff to the house fairly regularly) I addressed the issue very honestly; I adore him but don't have any unrealistic expectations on where things are headed and he shouldn't either.  Prince Charming hasn't landed in my lap in my 32 years so I doubt it will happen in the next 2 months.  If I do end up involved with someone the person I'm with will KNOW up front before I commit that I plan on being in NC when he comes home in May.  There's not much in this world that will stop me from that.




I'm glad to hear that you are being honest with him and aren't giving him mixed signals. 

True friendship.  Tells a LOT about a person's character.  He's blessed to have you as a good friend to lean on.


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## pixiegirl

SoMD_Fun_Guy said:


> I'm glad to hear that you are being honest with him and aren't giving him mixed signals.
> 
> True friendship.  Tells a LOT about a person's character.  He's blessed to have you as a good friend to lean on.



We'll see what happens when he gets back.  That's the best I can do.  Great guy and I adore him but it's a logistical nightmare.  Maybe I've grown up enough to not be super flighty and just run off with him.    I am his friend above all else.


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## nutz

Mabus said:


> When we would return from regular 80, 90, 100 day deployments with very little to no contact with family, we always knew who came home to an empty house or divorce papers on the table. Out of 160 of us maybe 75 were married...of those 75, 20 would have to stay on the boat for duty....of that 55 that went home, there would always be 2-3 guys that came back to the boat, head down on a table on the mess decks, and you just knew.....you just knew. And you waited. Because when we found that SOB, especially if he was military also, we beat. His. Ass.



Stupidest mentality ever. Why would you beat his ass when SHE was the one that cheated??  Unless she was raped, she's the one that gave the go ahead.


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## nutz

withrespect said:


> Stupid cheating whore.  I hope she chokes on a condom.


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## daylily

nutz said:


> Stupidest mentality ever. Why would you beat his ass when SHE was the one that cheated??  Unless she was raped, she's the one that gave the go ahead.



They both deserve an ass beating. The one cheating is the bigger of two aholes. But when you know someone is already in a relationship and bang the slut anyway, you're an ahole too.


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## Chasey_Lane

pixiegirl said:


> She said they had been together for 3 years, I'd say that's pretty serious.



It could or it couldn't be.  I dated butt head "J" for 4 years and I wouldn't call it serious by any means.


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## Mabus

nutz said:


> Stupidest mentality ever. Why would you beat his ass when SHE was the one that cheated??  Unless she was raped, she's the one that gave the go ahead.



At that particular base it's not too difficult to tell who's married and who's not. It's a small community. The guys, especially the ones on other boats/crews, are smart enough to figure out that there are no single girls in housing....nor are there single unemployed girls who can afford a 1br apartment with large flatscreen TV and a king size bed.

We branded the girls for what they were. They either stuck around that area and got married 2-3 more times or went back to where they came from out of shame.

The guys got what they deserved, especially if they were one of our own. The local police and boat captains never faulted us for taking care of business. You just don't do that #### to one of your brothers.

It never happened to me as I saw this my very first deployment and swore I'd never give a girl the chance. It did happen at least once to a guy in my division. I'll never forget that evening. For us to count down the days coming home, halfway night, familygrams, single digit days...the best 4 words you can hear after 90 days away from the smell of a woman is STATION THE MANEUVERING WATCH...and all you talked about the past 5 weeks is banging your old lady for 24 hours straight...you get home and got this big WTF and you don't want to be there, you can't...depressing, so you go to the most depressed place you can be, back to the boat, because the guys there understood. Some have lived it. Others will next deployment, and they'll know where to go when it does.

Damn, those were days I'll never forget.


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## SoMD_Fun_Guy

daylily said:


> They both deserve an ass beating. The one cheating is the bigger of two aholes. But when you know someone is already in a relationship and bang the slut anyway, you're an ahole too.



I agree.  But there could be more to the story that we don't know.  It is possible that she didn't tell the other guy that she had a bf stationed overseas until after they had sex.  Slut: "Oh BTW, I didn't tell you (cuz I wanted to find out how good you were), I have a bf in AFG but I'm dumping him for you cuz you're better in the sack and he's not here to give it to me and you are...blah blah blah"  Or maybe it was a 1-night stand and she's a nutjob that has now "fallen" for this hook-up and she's stalking a guy that just wants her for a bootycall.  Or maybe she did tell him before and he's an A-hole that was just lookin to get some action with a lonely, horny chick.  Or (the list goes on...)    In every case she shouldn't have done it without breakin up first.


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## BOP

vraiblonde said:


>



*ahem*


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## BOP

aps45819 said:


> In Norfolk, we called them "Med Widows"



"WestPac Widows"


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## BOP

itsbob said:


> HER?
> 
> That's quite the assumption....  Nowhere is it said the cheating whore is a her...



We're old-fashioned that way.


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## BOP

daylily said:


> They both deserve an ass beating. The one cheating is the bigger of two aholes. But when you know someone is already in a relationship and bang the slut anyway, you're an ahole too.



I don't know about men, but women almost never mention another relationship.


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## SoMD_Fun_Guy

BOP said:


> itsbob said:
> 
> 
> 
> HER?   That's quite the assumption....  Nowhere is it said the cheating whore is a her...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> We're old-fashioned that way.
Click to expand...


Actually, the letter asking for adivce on what to do was signed by "Melissa" so I assumed it was a HER.


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## Toxick

Dakota said:


> Some of you are rather harsh on this girl.  She is only a girlfriend.  If this was some sort of serious relationship – she’d be his fiancée or a wife – but she is _just _a girlfriend.




This is a good point, and I'd like to elaborate on my earlier post where I referred to her as an ignorant whore.

Most of my ire toward this flea-ridden #### has little to do with the actual cheating, although that's kind of sickening in its own right. Girlfriend or not, she wrote her story speaking as if they were in - at the least - a quasi-committed relationship, even if there were no vows spoken or whatever.

She then goes on to say that she pretty much fell over with her legs in the air the first time some dude waggles his pickle at her. Ok, whatever. We all have our vices, I'm not so much judging her for that, although I disapprove of her technique.

But what twists my nipples is that she writes something like, "Oh, I'm so against cheating".


##### please. That's not only an insult to the guy who thinks you're his faithful girlfriend, but an insult to the intelligence of anyone who reads her sob story. Go sing that happy horse#### somewhere else. In the words of Judge Judy, "Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining." If you were so against it, you wouldn't have done it. *I* am against cheating, so you know what - I don't cheat.

I sympathize with being horny.

I do not sympathize with being a lying scumbag.


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## Dakota

Tox, 

That makes sense - don't make it sound like you're an angel when you are not - just fess up to it and do what could have been handled differently - right - right now.


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## twinoaks207

pixiegirl said:


> I agree that she should wait to tell him. I have watched someone I care for very deeply go through something similar and have seen what it can do to their head.
> 
> A friend of mine from my early 20's is on his 3rd round in the middle east.  Haven't seen him since I was pregnant with #1, so probably around 11 years. He's in the Army and once he moved away from the area we haven't seen each other.  We've maintained casual contact via email throughout the years.  Early last summer biatch ass wife decides that she can't take it and leaves him while he's in Iraq.  He's got a very loving and supportive family and a healthy amount of friends but that doesn't replace the intimate relationship you have with a significant other.  Our conversations went from very friendly to him looking to me to fill that void.  He's a strong smart guy but it's hard going from being in an awful place being with someone to all the sudden being in a miserable situation and feeling alone.  He's making all kinda of plans about us "being together" when he gets home.  I haven't seen him in over 10 years, he'll be at Ft. Bragg and then FL, and it's just not his personality to be so flighty.  He's hurt and alone and looking to fill the void.  I believe if she'd had the decency to wait he wouldn't be wrapping his head around something so unrealistic with me.  The moral of the story is the whore in the OP should definitely wait till he comes back, no matter how strong someone is they're already in a jacked up situation and they shouldn't have to be preoccupied with a crappy personal life when they're already physically and emotionally drained.



Oh, honey, I think you need a couple of  .  Good luck to you as you're going to have to do a lot of delicate untangling when this guy gets home if you want to save that friendship.  Sending you a few prayers of support, too!


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## Railroad

I remember that when I was deployed to the Persian Gulf in 1983-84, and again when I was deployed to the North Atlantic with NATO in 1985-86, it was very important to be able to think in terms of stability with regard to "home."  Maybe every deployer feels like that to some extent, but I can only speak for myself.  During the Persian Gulf deployment, my wife decided to spend some time at her mother's place.  At the same time, she stopped replying to letters on a regular basis.  I was freaking out.  

It wasn't wise of me to put so much dependence on her, and it would have been even more wrong to do so with a girlfriend.  In a very real sense she was as deployed and stressed-out as I was, and I unwittingly put her in that position.

The separation test that a deployment represents is more difficult for people in their twenties and younger than it is for those in later years.  I don't think that everyone can remain "faithful" through those things, especially when the deployments are a year or more (mine were six months).  

The weakness caused by loneliness and normal physical desires is hard, very hard to deal with, and it affects both the one at home and the one overseas.  That doesn't make it right when the mistakes happen for some, but it sure does make it understandable (maybe more so for those not in the situation than those in it).  For people who've never been in that situation, I'm not sure if it's possible to know what it's like.  

In any case, I guess my point is that we shouldn't be too judgmental about this situation.  Things like this have a way of generating more than enough misery for all concerned all by themselves.


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## mamatutu

Railroad said:


> I remember that when I was deployed to the Persian Gulf in 1983-84, and again when I was deployed to the North Atlantic with NATO in 1985-86, it was very important to be able to think in terms of stability with regard to "home."  Maybe every deployer feels like that to some extent, but I can only speak for myself.  During the Persian Gulf deployment, my wife decided to spend some time at her mother's place.  At the same time, she stopped replying to letters on a regular basis.  I was freaking out.
> 
> It wasn't wise of me to put so much dependence on her, and it would have been even more wrong to do so with a girlfriend.  In a very real sense she was as deployed and stressed-out as I was, and I unwittingly put her in that position.
> 
> The separation test that a deployment represents is more difficult for people in their twenties and younger than it is for those in later years.  I don't think that everyone can remain "faithful" through those things, especially when the deployments are a year or more (mine were six months).
> 
> The weakness caused by loneliness and normal physical desires is hard, very hard to deal with, and it affects both the one at home and the one overseas.  That doesn't make it right when the mistakes happen for some, but it sure does make it understandable (maybe more so for those not in the situation than those in it).  For people who've never been in that situation, I'm not sure if it's possible to know what it's like.
> 
> In any case, I guess my point is that we shouldn't be too judgmental about this situation.  Things like this have a way of generating more than enough misery for all concerned all by themselves.



Food for thought...thanks


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## nutz

Railroad said:


> The separation test that a deployment represents is more difficult for people in their twenties and younger than it is for those in later years.  I don't think that everyone can remain "faithful" through those things, especially when the deployments are a year or more (mine were six months).
> 
> The weakness caused by loneliness and normal physical desires is hard, very hard to deal with, and it affects both the one at home and the one overseas.  That doesn't make it right when the mistakes happen for some, but it sure does make it understandable (maybe more so for those not in the situation than those in it).  For people who've never been in that situation, I'm not sure if it's possible to know what it's like.
> 
> In any case, I guess my point is that we shouldn't be too judgmental about this situation.  Things like this have a way of generating more than enough misery for all concerned all by themselves.


I deployed all over the globe from 1981-2003. Started in my twenties, military service is a young persons game. Still have the same woman in my life. was there opportunity for cheating, sure. But neither one of us did. A commitment, whether personal or contractual involves both parties sticking to the terms. Society today has opened a lot of loopholes around personal commitments.

From the OP's original comments, the guy deployed will fare much better when he jettisons this load.  Hopefully, he isn't sending the dumb ##### money, saw that too many times too.


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## Railroad

nutz said:


> I deployed all over the globe from 1981-2003. Started in my twenties, military service is a young persons game. Still have the same woman in my life. was there opportunity for cheating, sure. But neither one of us did. A commitment, whether personal or contractual involves both parties sticking to the terms. Society today has opened a lot of loopholes around personal commitments.
> 
> From the OP's original comments, the guy deployed will fare much better when he jettisons this load.  Hopefully, he isn't sending the dumb ##### money, saw that too many times too.



I agree they probably need to split, because she at least isn't cut out for military spouse duty.  I wouldn't call her a dumb #####, though, because she made some mistakes.  People need to be understood and afforded the opportunity to learn from their mistakes and change.  I know, this seems surprisingly liberal coming from a right-wing extremist and conservative Christian, but it's the example Christ set with an adulteress who was about to be executed for her unfaithfulness.  Both her and the guys in her life (including the deployed one) need positive influence and understanding.


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## Severa

Toxick said:


> This is a good point, and I'd like to elaborate on my earlier post where I referred to her as an ignorant whore.
> 
> Most of my ire toward this flea-ridden #### has little to do with the actual cheating, although that's kind of sickening in its own right. Girlfriend or not, she wrote her story speaking as if they were in - at the least - a quasi-committed relationship, even if there were no vows spoken or whatever.
> 
> She then goes on to say that she pretty much fell over with her legs in the air the first time some dude waggles his pickle at her. Ok, whatever. We all have our vices, I'm not so much judging her for that, although I disapprove of her technique.
> 
> But what twists my nipples is that she writes something like, "Oh, I'm so against cheating".
> 
> 
> ##### please. That's not only an insult to the guy who thinks you're his faithful girlfriend, but an insult to the intelligence of anyone who reads her sob story. Go sing that happy horse#### somewhere else. In the words of Judge Judy, "Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining." If you were so against it, you wouldn't have done it. *I* am against cheating, so you know what - I don't cheat.
> 
> I sympathize with being horny.
> 
> I do not sympathize with being a lying scumbag.



My husband was in the Navy for 6 yrs. Speaking as a military spouse, I saw his shipmates as extended family. I worried about them all, not just my husband. When they hurt, I hurt. Case in point: After one lengthy deployment, one of his shipmates discovered that his girl was cheating on him. Among the evidence was a _recently_ used condom under the bed. Yeah, I'll admit - I wanted to beat her ass. B**ches like that girl and the one referenced in the OP give all military girlfriends/spouses a bad name and in my eyes, deserve EVERY ounce of scorn and disrespect they have coming to them.


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## LuckyMe143

I loved being a military wife. When the Mr. came home from deployments it was like falling in love all over again. Some people can handle military and some can't. She's a dumb####!


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## spr1975wshs

dan0623_2000 said:


> As long as she can run faster than 1500 feet per second, I do not forsee a problem here.  Besides, he is probably cheating on her with some of those nice Civil service and contractor ladies over there making the big bucks.  I know of one that is doing her second tour over there and it ain't because of the salary from her job!!!!!!



Actually, 5.56 bullets leave the muzzle at 3200 fps.


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## acommondisaster

I think she should tell him now. How pizzed is he going to be when he comes home and finds she's been lying to him all through the deployment? Why lie to him and have him build up this reunion in his mind to come home to find out she's been feeding him a big fat slutolicious lie for months? 

Some people just don't like themselves enough to be able to handle a separation. They have to "be" with someone or they feel worthless. Eventually, she was going to cheat on him because even if she *thinks* she's not the cheating kind, she's just proved that she is exactly that. Glad it happened before they were married with a baby or two.


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## EmptyTimCup

This:


to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.


IMHO this breakdown is symptomatic of people getting married WAY to FAST ......... 

but really ; for BETTER of for WORSE ...... Richer or POOR ...... Sickness and in Health 

not until you are bored and want something new .......... 

if you get involved with someone in the Military, you should know what to expect ....... and do not marry someone expecting to Change them


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## Lurk

EmptyTimCup said:


> This:
> 
> to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.
> 
> 
> IMHO this breakdown is symptomatic of people getting married WAY to FAST .........
> 
> but really ; for BETTER of for WORSE ...... Richer or POOR ...... Sickness and in Health
> 
> not until you are bored and want something new ..........
> 
> if you get involved with someone in the Military, you should know what to expect ....... and do not marry someone expecting to Change them



  she's cheating on her boyfriend.


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