# Learn How to Pick Up Chicks At A Nightclub. A Complete Survival Guide Giving You Ever



## KaZamm1061

DOES THIS REALLY WORK???? HEHEH I THOUGHT IT WAS TOO FUNNY NOT TO POST.


      Nightclubs are a great place for us guys to pick up chicks. Pick a place known for dancing, as there are generally more women at these places. It's good to go with a group of friends, that way you always have someone to talk with when taking a break from all the women you're meeting (and you will meet a lot if you just try). Most of the women are there to have a good time and meet men. Even if a girl is not really looking to meet a guy, they like to play a game and see how many guys they can get to approach them and in their eyes "turn on". The women are going to appreciate you approaching them and introducing yourself. They will indulge you as long as you are nice, and do not act like a jerk. If they are not interested in you (through no fault of your own), you will learn from their actions. But more often than not you will find yourself really hitting it off and having a good time. 
      I realize a number of you may be apprehensive about going to nightclubs. For people who are not used to a lot of social interaction, a nightclub is probably a place you've wondered about, but you fear going to one for a variety of reasons. You're shy and not good at introducing yourself to people, you can't dance, or you're intimidated by the other guys there. Firstly, all guys feel this way to some extent. It's completely normal to be apprehensive to something new like this, but I'm going to tell you, you have nothing, and I mean NOTHING to worry about and I'm going to dispel these myths for you. 
 1. If you're shy and not good at introducing yourself, there is no better place to practice than at a nightclub. A nightclub is designed for men to meet women. Every guy feels awkward walking up to some chick they don't know in a store or classroom or someplace ordinary. When you do this sometimes the women act surprised and it can be awkward (It won't be after using the tips learned on this sight though!). However, at a nightclub you are EXPECTED to introduce yourself to women and they EXPECT it. No one but the real bitches (and they are few and far between) are going to cold shoulder you. They're going to be flattered you approached them and treat you nicely even if they aren't interested in you. Of course you HAVE to treat the women with respect, courtesy and niceness. So many guys walk up to women and say stupid things about sex, or even worse try to grab them onto the dance floor. These guys are incredible jerks, but you should delight in watching these fools get rejected (they ALWAYS get rejected). It's guys like these who make women appreciate a guy who walks up to her and in a kind voice introduces himself in a nice, non-threatening way. 
2. If you can't dance, well this is nothing to worry about. Firstly, have a drink to loosen up. You're here to have fun and meet women. Don't go to a special dance club like swing or something you don't know. Most clubs just play popular music of various types. You should definitely do some research by asking friends or looking on the internet to find a club you'll feel comfortable in. Of course, the funny thing is, once you actually go to one club you'll realize you'd be comfortable in *any* type of club. Well in most of these clubs all the guys are just doing the "whitey shuffle". Sure some of the better dancers may throw in a move or two, but you can pick up some moves of your own just by watching MTV or the other guys in the club. Most guys are content just to move their body to the music and move their arms around. Now the women, they like to move their bodies around, and when you ask a girl to dance, you're going to enjoy having her move it around you. Girls don't expect guys to know how to dance, they're happy to find a guy who will even indulge them in a dance (a lot of guys will tell chicks, oh I'm no good at dancing and I don't like to dance). Believe me, no one is going to comment on your dancing in a crowded club. Everyone is so self-conscious they are never going to even care about your dancing. Just don't go getting drunk and start dancing like Elaine Bennice from Sienfeld and you'll be fine! 
3. If you feel intimidated by the guys who would frequent a nightclub, well once you get there you will realize that you had nothing to worry about. Nobody's going to "pick" on you or anything like that. You're not in Junior High anymore! It's all in the movies. The only people who get in fights at bars and such are people who want to fight. Most guys in a nightclub are just as apprehensive as you. They stand against the walls of the dance floor and watch the people dancing or they spend all night at the bar or booth and never do anything. They're so worried about what other people will think, they never live life. Don't let this happen to you. If you accidentally hit on a girl with a boyfriend, she'll let you know. And if the guy is at the club, he's not going to care as long as you excuse yourself immediately and politely. People go to a club to have fun and enjoy themselves. Unless you're looking for a fight, you're not going to get in one. So get this silly idea out of your head and go have some fun!! 
Now there is one thing that is going to make your life a bit tougher at a nightclub. These women come in groups. This creates a number of problems for us guys who are trying to pick up chicks. Firstly, because these girlfriends decided to come as a group there are going to be a number of women who were talked into coming even though they don't really want to go (they're not interested in meeting guys, or are just fed up with men in general, oh well). Either that, or they may have a boyfriend and are just going for a "girls night out". When you ask them to dance, or introduce yourself they are going to reject you. You have to realize that this is absolutely not your fault! We all fear rejection at some point, but we really shouldn't. Read the section on "The Power of Rejection" and apply it and you will become a changed person! You should have no problem asking women to dance after reading it.


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## KaZamm1061

*PART 2*

The next thing about these groups of chicks is that they like to dance together. They're there to have fun with their friends and they're never going to ditch their friends for a guy. (Funny isn't it? How many times have you been left high and dry because your friend suddenly met a chick? Probably too many if you're like most guys.) Well, you are going to get rejected EVERY time you try to break in to dance with a group of girls dancing together. Your chances are best if you ask a girl dancing by herself (girls are content to dance by themselves even if no one else is dancing with them. This intrigues me.) Now, sometimes the pickings are slim, and the only girls dancing without guys all over them are the ones in groups. There are two things you can do in this situation. If the girls are dancing together and there are an odd number of them you can apply what I like to call the "Odd Man Out" Technique. This technique is wonderful, and you will probably have better results with it than if you were to simply ask the girl when she is dancing by herself. You see, say three girls are dancing in a group. Two of the girls are going to be doing moves on each other or just simply facing each other more often, these are the girls in the group who love to dance! Now, the third girl is going to be dancing in the group, but feeling a bit left out. She may not consider herself as good of a dancer as the two other girls and this can play on her self-esteem. Well, well... here is your chance Tiger! Shake your groove maker over to that sweet little thing and ask her kindly to dance. She is probably feeling a bit left out and along comes a cool guy like you offering to alleviate the situation. She'll have someone to dance with and she can throw a little mental "ha-ha" to her friends showing she attracted a guy (it's that little game they play, I'm telling ya!). When these situations come along it's like money in the bank. And in a crowed club, this opportunity comes up a lot. This technique is awesome. 

      Now if the girls are sitting together in a group, here is a technique you can use to get someone to dance with you. Wait for a lull in their conversation and walk up and ask them "Would any of you girls like to dance?" Chances are good that at least one will accept you may even have them play fighting over you! Of course they may all reject you, but you can't blame yourself. If one dumb girl blurts out a rejection immediately (she's the leader of the group), group mentality will take effect and they will all reject you. But rest assured there were probably more than a few who would have loved to dance with you and break away from the group. Just excuse yourself nicely by something like "Well thanks anyway, and if any of you change your mind the offer still stands." 

      The last problem with girls in groups is that their friends will constantly be looking out for each other. In some cases it is all right, because obviously you two are not hitting it off and the friends will drag the girl away. It's any easy way of breaking away from a guy without hurting his feelings. It can get annoying when you are actually hitting it off, doing nothing wrong and their friends break in. If the vibe was good, do not just let her friends take her away immediately (she generally wont stay, girls do not ditch their friends for guys they just met). Step in between her and her friend (not rudely, just firmly) and let her know sincerely that you enjoyed dancing with her and invite her to come chat with you if she gets a chance. If it's getting late and you get so rudely interrupted, it is a good time to ask for her phone number. You're about to lose her for good, so don't hesitate. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. 

      Don't deny yourself the wonderful opportunities of a nightclub, just because you're afraid to try something new. These places are abundant with opportunity. It's a perfect place to test your social skill. You'll never have to worry about feeling foolish asking a girl out in a nightclub because they expect it, AND they're strangers, so even if they reject you, you'll never have to see them again. Plus, there are so many girls at dance clubs that you'll have no problem getting them to dance with you and you stand a good chance of really hitting it off! Oh one last thing, don't forget to bring a pen so you can get those digits! Seriously, when planning to go out it may seem cheesy to stick a pen and something to write on in your pocket. But if the opportunity to get a number pops up you will be kicking yourself for not having one!


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## SxyPrincess

SxyPrincess' Rules

1) MUST LOOK LIKE CALVIN KLEIN MODEL
2) MUST DRIVE EXPENSIVE LUXURY VEHICLE
3) MUST HAVE 6-FIGURE BANK ACCOUNT
4) MUST COME DRINK-IN-HAND (Preferably White Russian)

NO EXCEPTIONS!!!


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## Sharon

Sxy, does it matter if he meets all of the requirements and he's married?


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## SxyPrincess

If he's married, he's more than welcome to be my "sugar daddy."


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## SxyPrincess

Who, me?


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## SxyPrincess




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## KaZamm1061

Dunno never tried it. And i dont go there anymore because i get tired of listening to Todds mouth along with the rest of those jerks..


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## KaZamm1061

Me too i just want to bash his face in..


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## Vicki

Great guide! 
I especially like the part where you tell the guys that even if the girl is not interested in you, it's not your fault...
Here are my prerequisits:
No smoking, no kids, no wife/girlfriend, must have job, own motorized form of transportation, must get along with my friends... gee am I too picky?


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## kwillia

SxyPrincess said:
			
		

> SxyPrincess' Rules
> 
> 1) MUST LOOK LIKE CALVIN KLEIN MODEL
> 2) MUST DRIVE EXPENSIVE LUXURY VEHICLE
> 3) MUST HAVE 6-FIGURE BANK ACCOUNT
> 4) MUST COME DRINK-IN-HAND (Preferably White Russian)
> 
> NO EXCEPTIONS!!!


I wonder if Sxy ever found her sugar daddy...


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## PaxPrincess

1) Stay off my ass. Matter of fact, keep your hands at eye level.
2) My tits don't talk back.
3) I might bring you home, but I won't #### you.


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## missperky

What happened to Kaz? :shrug:


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## FireBrand

Just knock 'em in the head with a rock and drag 'em off by their hair.......the caveman method !!!


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## Bronwyn

> don't forget to bring a pen so you can get those digits!



Who needs digits for a one night stand?


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## bcp

SxyPrincess said:
			
		

> SxyPrincess' Rules
> 
> 1) MUST LOOK LIKE CALVIN KLEIN MODEL
> 2) MUST DRIVE EXPENSIVE LUXURY VEHICLE
> 3) MUST HAVE 6-FIGURE BANK ACCOUNT
> 4) MUST COME DRINK-IN-HAND (Preferably White Russian)
> 
> NO EXCEPTIONS!!!



So, when my balding fat arse gets out of the 74 pinto after digging in the ashtray for change and comes up to you with a glass of tap water and an old lemon rind in it,, you're saying I aint getting none?


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## Bronwyn

> If you can't dance, well this is nothing to worry about. Firstly, have a drink to loosen up.



Why have one? I usually drink about four before I hit the dance floor.


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## sockgirl77

missperky said:
			
		

> What happened to Kaz? :shrug:


He moved to South Carolina. But he still lurks under MZsport.


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## smoothmarine187

SxyPrincess said:
			
		

> SxyPrincess' Rules
> 
> 1) MUST LOOK LIKE CALVIN KLEIN MODEL
> 2) MUST DRIVE EXPENSIVE LUXURY VEHICLE
> 3) MUST HAVE 6-FIGURE BANK ACCOUNT
> 4) MUST COME DRINK-IN-HAND (Preferably White Russian)
> 
> NO EXCEPTIONS!!!





Does my integra racer with packing tape as a back window count as a luxury vehicle


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## (((echo)))

:ijustwasted10minuitesreadingthis:


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## nachomama

(((echo))) said:
			
		

> :ijustwasted10minuitesreadingthis:



:thatmakes2ofus:


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## Spanky

I'll tell you the secret to picking up chicks.

















Lift while bending your knees and don't use your back.


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## warneckutz

smoothmarine187 said:
			
		

> Does my integra racer with packing tape as a back window count as a luxury vehicle


  That car is hawt...


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## Chain729

PaxPrincess said:
			
		

> 1) Stay off my ass. Matter of fact, keep your hands at eye level.



Frigid or prude?



			
				PaxPrincess said:
			
		

> 2) My tits don't talk back.



Good.  We like them to jiggle not to make our ears bleed.



			
				PaxPrincess said:
			
		

> 3) I might bring you home, but I won't #### you.



Then what good are ya?


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## Foxhound

Spanky said:
			
		

> I'll tell you the secret to picking up chicks.
> Lift while bending your knees and don't use your back.




Damn, thats what I've been doing wrong!


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## Chainsaw Slayer

picking up chicks is easy.  I just show up to the club and whip put my chainsaw.  Then they all come runing over to see if I will let them touch it.


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## usagent

SxyPrincess said:
			
		

> SxyPrincess' Rules
> 
> 1) MUST LOOK LIKE CALVIN KLEIN MODEL
> 2) MUST DRIVE EXPENSIVE LUXURY VEHICLE
> 3) MUST HAVE 6-FIGURE BANK ACCOUNT
> 4) MUST COME DRINK-IN-HAND (Preferably White Russian)
> 
> NO EXCEPTIONS!!!



1) OK WITH THIS ONE
2) VEHICLE'S MY WIFES
3) GOT THAT BECAUSE I MARRIED IT
4) OK WITH THIS ONE ALSO

If girls can do it........


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## Tomahawk202

I don't need to pick up chicks. Chuck Norris does it for me. 
He follows me around and when I see one I like I just point and Chuck Norris says to them: " Hey, I'm Chuck Norris", and punches her in the face.   
I then get to rescue them, and get laid in the process.


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## smoothmarine187

Tomahawk202 said:
			
		

> I don't need to pick up chicks. Chuck Norris does it for me.
> He follows me around and when I see one I like I just point and Chuck Norris says to them: " Hey, I'm Chuck Norris", and punches her in the face.
> I then get to rescue them, and get laid in the process.



First of all stupid, if Chuck Norris punched some girl in the face, it would make her unrecognizable.  I guess if your are a necrofeliac then she would be perfect for you.  Secondly, Chuck Norris would reach in through your rectum and break both of your hands for typing his name and associating him with clown like you.


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## nomoney

smoothmarine187 said:
			
		

> First of all stupid, if Chuck Norris punched some girl in the face, it would make her unrecognizable. I guess if your are a necrofeliac then she would be perfect for you. Secondly, Chuck Norris would reach in through your rectum and break both of your hands for typing his name and associating him with clown like you.



 
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck NOrris allows to live and 
The leading causes of death in the United States are 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer


http://www.spreadshirt.com/shop.php?sid=19781&product_id=1172546


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## warneckutz

nomoney said:
			
		

> There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck NOrris allows to live and
> The leading causes of death in the United States are 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
> 
> 
> http://www.spreadshirt.com/shop.php?sid=19781&product_id=1172546


Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING


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## smoothmarine187

Chuck Norris is gay!  I know when he was riding around in Texas with Juggy, that there was something going on


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## Lugnut

smoothmarine187 said:
			
		

> Chuck Norris is gay!  I know when he was riding around in Texas with Juggy, that there was something going on




You shouldn'ta ought to said that boy.


Chuck Norris is coming for you...


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## (((echo)))

<img src="http://i130.photobucket.com/albums/p250/robert817/Chuck%20Norris/chucknorris2.jpg">


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## warneckutz

smoothmarine187 said:
			
		

> Chuck Norris is gay!  I know when he was riding around in Texas with Juggy, that there was something going on




When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.


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## smoothmarine187

nomoney said:
			
		

> ooohhh smooth, I'd be scared, even outer space exists because its afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.



 I haven't heard that one before


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## warneckutz

smoothmarine187 said:
			
		

> I haven't heard that one before


Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.


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## Lugnut

An anagram for Walker Texas Ranger is KARATE WRANGLER SEX. I don't know what that is, but it sounds AWESOME.


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## smoothmarine187

Lugnut said:
			
		

> An anagram for Walker Texas Ranger is KARATE WRANGLER SEX. I don't know what that is, but it sounds AWESOME.


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## (((echo)))

<a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u271/superman4223/chuck_norris.gif" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a>


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## pingrr

Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.


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## chewy3384

Chuck Norris can stay in this position until he dies.......he just doesn't


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