# Men and Confrontation...



## nitwhit3286

Guys are afraid to step up to the plate and actually deal with the situation at hand. I guess its because they let things roll off their shoulders when maybe then shouldn't.  Especially when they are the ones who are wrong and don't admit it...leaving the female to think that she is the guilty party. what say you??


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## greyhound

nitwhit3286 said:


> Guys are afraid to step up to the plate and actually deal with the situation at hand. I guess its because they let things roll off their shoulders when maybe then shouldn't.  Especially when they are the ones who are wrong and don't admit it...leaving the female to think that she is the guilty party. what say you??



You can only feel guilty if you are guilty.


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## aps45819

Shut up. It's your fault and you know it


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## Mikeinsmd

greyhound said:


> You can only feel guilty if you are guilty.


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## greyhound

aps45819 said:


> Shut up. It's your fault and you know it



You don't hold it in.


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## Mikeinsmd

aps45819 said:


> Shut up. It's your fault and you know it


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## nitwhit3286

greyhound said:


> You can only feel guilty if you are guilty.




you are right, I am guilty. Guilty of putting myself into the situation in the first place. you are absolutely right. Thanks.


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## greyhound

nitwhit3286 said:


> you are right, I am guilty. Guilty of putting myself into the situation in the first place. you are absolutely right. Thanks.



I am not commenting on your situation.


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## nitwhit3286

greyhound said:


> I am not commenting on your situation.





then what is it you are commenting on??


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## greyhound

nitwhit3286 said:


> then what is it you are commenting on??



Your poll


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## BS Gal

In our marriage, we generally admit when we were wrong and apologize.  Works well. We're both kind of stubborn, but an apology after thinking about the situation has worked for 26+ years.  It's a give and take on both sides.  A lot of times it is hard to say "I'm sorry, I was wrong or I was a biatch and you didn't deserve that," but you have to step up to the plate.


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## nitwhit3286

BS Gal said:


> In our marriage, we generally admit when we were wrong and apologize.  Works well. We're both kind of stubborn, but an apology after thinking about the situation has worked for 26+ years.  It's a give and take on both sides.  A lot of times it is hard to say "I'm sorry, I was wrong or I was a biatch and you didn't deserve that," but you have to step up to the plate.



I have never had a problem saying I'm sorry.   it just hurts when you feel someone should say they are sorry and you never get an apology.


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## BS Gal

nitwhit3286 said:


> I have never had a problem saying I'm sorry.   it just hurts when you feel someone should say they are sorry and you never get an apology.



I believe men have different ways of apologizing than women.  We can say that we are sorry more easily.  They go about it a different way.  You have to recognize how they apologize.  They may wash your car for you and figure that you'll figure it as an apology.  Gotta learn how to read them.


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## Kain99

No, No, No baby girl!  Many men truly never see themselves as jerk offs.  They can literally say something heart breaking to you and stomp away slamming the door in "YOUR" face!  

Trust me, when I promise you..... Not all men are this way. 

Hold your head high and walk away.  These men will bring nothing but heart break.  Your prince will come.


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## Patch Tuesday

nitwhit3286 said:


> Guys are afraid to step up to the plate and actually deal with the situation at hand. I guess its because they let things roll off their shoulders when maybe then shouldn't.  Especially when they are the ones who are wrong and don't admit it...leaving the female to think that she is the guilty party. what say you??



If it floats, (censored), flys, or has a foundation...

Rent it...

Say me...


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## RoseRed

BS Gal said:


> I believe men have different ways of apologizing than women.  We can say that we are sorry more easily.  They go about it a different way.  You have to recognize how they apologize.  They may wash your car for you and figure that you'll figure it as an apology.  Gotta learn how to read them.



I wonder if he was too late...  

http://forums.somd.com/life-southern-maryland/122212-help-flourist.html


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## BS Gal

RoseRed said:


> I wonder if he was too late...
> 
> http://forums.somd.com/life-southern-maryland/122212-help-flourist.html


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## nitwhit3286

Kain99 said:


> No, No, No baby girl!  Many men truly never see themselves as jerk offs.  They can literally say something heart breaking to you and stomp away slamming the door in "YOUR" face!
> 
> Trust me, when I promise you..... Not all men are this way.
> 
> Hold your head high and walk away.  These men will bring nothing but heart break.  Your prince will come.




yeah I mean, I don't understand it, but then again, I guess I am pretty young for the whole serious relationship/marriage thing.  More concentrating on me and less on men. They are always going to be there ya know?


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## nitwhit3286

RoseRed said:


> I wonder if he was too late...
> 
> http://forums.somd.com/life-southern-maryland/122212-help-flourist.html





we have a winner!!


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## Kain99

nitwhit3286 said:


> yeah I mean, I don't understand it, but then again, I guess I am pretty young for the whole serious relationship/marriage thing.  More concentrating on me and less on men. They are always going to be there ya know?



Don't kick yourself sugar... I'm 41 and still learning the hard way!  We are all in this together!


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## (((echo)))




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## Kain99

OMFG Echo!  That is so wrong and so frigging funny I just peed myself again!  *you know what that looks like*


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## CRoyal

nitwhit3286 said:


> yeah I mean, I don't understand it, but then again, I guess I am pretty young for the whole serious relationship/marriage thing.  More concentrating on me and less on men. They are always going to be there ya know?



Most people in GENERAL don't like confrontation. I am the type to ask and put the issue out there as soon as it hits my brain. I dont mind confrtontation so a man who does it ok with me, it'll get said. Someone has to step up and put it out there or it might just fester. . Put it out there.

Always gotta get you straight before you get a man involved.


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## Lugnut

Ooh a man hating thread! I LOOOOVE man hating threads!!!  

OK, carry on...


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## greyhound

(((echo))) said:


>



He called and left a messege on my machine today. hummmmmm


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## BS Gal

Lugnut said:


> Ooh a man hating thread! I LOOOOVE man hating threads!!!
> 
> OK, carry on...



I wish you would show up on our doorstep in your special outfit on Christmas eve.  TIA.


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## Lugnut

BS Gal said:


> I wish you would show up on our doorstep in your special outfit on Christmas eve.  TIA.



 I dunno if DR would laugh or punch me!


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## godsbutterfly

nitwhit3286 said:


> yeah I mean, I don't understand it, but then again, I guess I am pretty young for the whole serious relationship/marriage thing.  More concentrating on me and less on men. They are always going to be there ya know?



It's not always about age. It's about having the right relationship with the right person. There's no certain "time/age" for that. The best advice I could ever give you is don't settle. You are right to concentrate on yourself. Have a life that includes family and friends, career and religion if you are a believer. Do not center your life around a man. I am not saying that because I am anti-male. It's just that you have to have a life you are happy with so that you can share it with that special person when you meet them. Be content with yourself first and when the time is right it will all come together for you. Best of luck to you!


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## nitwhit3286

Lugnut said:


> Ooh a man hating thread! I LOOOOVE man hating threads!!!
> 
> OK, carry on...





how about a juggy bashing thread?  oopssss, did that just leak??


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## nitwhit3286

godsbutterfly said:


> It's not always about age. It's about having the right relationship with the right person. There's no certain "time/age" for that. The best advice I could ever give you is don't settle. You are right to concentrate on yourself. Have a life that includes family and friends, career and religion if you are a believer. Do not center your life around a man. I am not saying that because I am anti-male. It's just that you have to have a life you are happy with so that you can share it with that special person when you meet them. Be content with yourself first and when the time is right it will all come together for you. Best of luck to you!



agreed!!  thanks, that gives me a little hope. Once I do me, I won't need a dude....I can be my own sugar momma....


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## Kain99

nitwhit3286 said:


> how about a juggy bashing thread?  oopssss, did that just leak??



Maybe Juggy had a really bad day at work... I know I did.


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## nitwhit3286

Kain99 said:


> Maybe Juggy had a really bad day at work... I know I did.



maybe pms...cause he's been doing it for two weeks.  ha.


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## Roxy1104

I had some guy do that to me recently.


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## nitwhit3286

they all do it at one time or another. Very inconsiderate.


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## kwillia

nitwhit3286 said:


> maybe pms...cause he's been doing it for two weeks.  ha.


If he's to the point where he no longer wants to talk about whatever it is that you are stressing over, perhaps he's said his piece and is done with it. Go back and reflect on what he had to say and then take his words at face value. If you are waiting for him to feel different or say something different after two weeks and he hasn't... then he's most likely done with it and has moved on. :shrug:


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## MMDad

Nit, aren't you both still married to other people? Is it really a surprise that an affair like this wouldn't work out?


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## nitwhit3286

MMDad said:


> Nit, aren't you both still married to other people? Is it really a surprise that an affair like this wouldn't work out?




eh, you know how things get said.  I was/am still serious about getting my seperation.


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## nitwhit3286

kwillia said:


> If he's to the point where he no longer wants to talk about whatever it is that you are stressing over, perhaps he's said his piece and is done with it. Go back and reflect on what he had to say and then take his words at face value. If you are waiting for him to feel different or say something different after two weeks and he hasn't... then he's most likely done with it and has moved on. :shrug:



indeed. that is what I will have to do.


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## kwillia

nitwhit3286 said:


> eh, you know how things get said.  I was/am still serious about getting my seperation.



Yeah, but I think what mmdad is trying to say is that typically when a guy taps a chick that he knows is married... odds are he isn't in it for the long haul... :shrug:


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## nitwhit3286

kwillia said:


> Yeah, but I think what mmdad is trying to say is that typically when a guy taps a chick that he knows is married... odds are he isn't in it for the long haul... :shrug:





indeed. Could very well be.  considering he is a stereotypical black guy and all.


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## kwillia

nitwhit3286 said:


> indeed. Could very well be.  considering he is a stereotypical black guy and all.


Wow... that was a pretty immature statement.


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## smoothmarine187

nitwhit3286 said:


> indeed. Could very well be.  considering he is a stereotypical black guy and all.



There is only one thing stereotypical about him, I remember when you were in a wheelchair for a week.


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## MLGTS08

nitwhit3286 said:


> indeed. Could very well be.  considering he is a *stereotypical black guy* and all.



And what would that be?


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## pixiegirl

kwillia said:


> Wow... that was a pretty immature statement.




pssssssttttt.....  It's his myspace handle.


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## MMDad

kwillia said:


> Yeah, but I think what mmdad is trying to say is that typically when a guy taps a chick that he knows is married... odds are he isn't in it for the long haul... :shrug:


 That's part of it.



nitwhit3286 said:


> indeed. Could very well be.  considering he is a stereotypical black guy and all.


 Race has nothing to do with it. I know that I could never be serious with a woman I couldn't trust. I was seeing a married woman 23 years ago, and I had to stop when I realized that if she'd cheat with me, why wouldn't she cheat on me?

Men use one type of woman, and they stick with and marry another type. I'm not calling you any names, but you might want to consider the image you project if you want a man to respect you.


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## kwillia

pixiegirl said:


> pssssssttttt.....  It's his myspace handle.



I guess that was only funny to those who myspace.


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## nitwhit3286

pixiegirl said:


> pssssssttttt.....  It's his myspace handle.




I was trying to make light of it......I guess no one figured it out except you nacho.


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## nitwhit3286

kwillia said:


> I guess that was only funny to those who myspace.





what?!??! you don't have a myspace? what is wrong with you? ha!


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## smoothmarine187

nitwhit3286 said:


> I was trying to make light of it......I guess no one figured it out except you nacho.



Is this another myspace reference?  Pixie calls herself nacho on myspace?


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## nitwhit3286

smoothmarine187 said:


> There is only one thing stereotypical about him, I remember when you were in a wheelchair for a week.





maybe I just miss the meathammer...too bad its getting action elsewhere.


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## nitwhit3286

smoothmarine187 said:


> Is this another myspace reference?  Pixie calls herself nacho on myspace?





really? she does call herself nacho? why?  Oh I was referring to nachomama...the nachomama!


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## pixiegirl

MMDad said:


> That's part of it.
> 
> Race has nothing to do with it. I know that I could never be serious with a woman I couldn't trust. I was seeing a married woman 23 years ago, and I had to stop when I realized that if she'd cheat with me, why wouldn't she cheat on me?
> 
> Men use one type of woman, and they stick with and marry another type. I'm not calling you any names, but you might want to consider the image you project if you want a man to respect you.



I don't know that it's so much what "type" of woman you are as much it self confidence and what you are and are not willing to accept.  Let's face it, by the standards of most I have loose morals (to put it lightly) but I have never had a problem landing and keeping a man.  The key isn't the type of woman I am because when it comes down to it I'm actually many "types" rolled into one.  The less someone is willing to accept the less they will likely get (and I'm talking totally behavior wise not money or anything else).  The more crap we are willing to put up with the more we will get.  If we genuinely respect ourselves and refuse to settle for poor behavior than we will eventually get that.  At Nit's age she's looking for instant gratification and she's not going to find it.


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## MMDad

pixiegirl said:


> I don't know that it's so much what "type" of


 You're right, "type" was the wrong way to say it. But it is most definitely the image a person projects.


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## nitwhit3286

pixiegirl said:


> I don't know that it's so much what "type" of woman you are as much it self confidence and what you are and are not willing to accept.  Let's face it, by the standards of most I have loose morals (to put it lightly) but I have never had a problem landing and keeping a man.  The key isn't the type of woman I am because when it comes down to it I'm actually many "types" rolled into one.  The less someone is willing to accept the less they will likely get (and I'm talking totally behavior wise not money or anything else).  The more crap we are willing to put up with the more we will get.  If we genuinely respect ourselves and refuse to settle for poor behavior than we will eventually get that.  At Nit's age she's looking for instant gratification and she's not going to find it.




not going to find that instant gratification?  Maybe when I got and sit on santa's lap I will tell him thats what I want for christmas.


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## pixiegirl

MMDad said:


> You're right, "type" was the wrong way to say it. But it is most definitely the image a person projects.



I agree.


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## nitwhit3286

MMDad said:


> You're right, "type" was the wrong way to say it. But it is most definitely the image a person projects.



I'm a good person.....what i have done in the past.. not so good, but we are looking at morals here.  Just because you make mistakes, doesn't make you a bad person.  Then again you really haven't met me, so determining what kind of person I am would be prejudgemental.


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## pixiegirl

nitwhit3286 said:


> not going to find that instant gratification?  Maybe when I got and sit on santa's lap I will tell him thats what I want for christmas.



I remember being your age with a babe and single.  Poor B never lasted more than a couple months without getting his walking papers because he did something to piss me off.  I wanted my way and I wanted it right then.  I was 22 and he 23 and I really thought that he was just going to wake up one day and realize I was right about everything.


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## kwillia

nitwhit3286 said:


> Then again you really haven't met me, so determining what kind of person I am would be prejudgemental.


Nit, you are totally  missing his point. People ARE judgemental. It's human nature. He's trying to point out that how you chose to present yourself will be taken into account as an immediate opinion is formed about you by each and every person you come in contact with and that formed opinion will have a play in how people treat you.


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## pixiegirl

nitwhit3286 said:


> I'm a good person.....what i have done in the past.. not so good, but we are looking at morals here.  Just because you make mistakes, doesn't make you a bad person.  Then again you really haven't met me, so determining what kind of person I am would be prejudgemental.



No honey, you're just scratching the surface.  No one is saying you're a bad person.  Hell, that's totally subjective anyway.  It doesn't matter what you've done wrong it's how you feel about yourself and portray yourself.  It's about bite not bark.  You can say all day that you're the most confident person in the world but if you continuously allow yourself to be treated poorly than you're showing that you're all bark and no bite.  I was famous for doing this with my ex husband and B.  Leave because they'd done something foolish but take them back as soon as they came around kissing my ass and giving me the behavior I was initially looking for.  It was always very short lived though because they knew from experience that no matter what they did I'd take them back.  It's your self image we're referring to.


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## workin hard

I avoid confrontation.  I don't like it and never have.  The DH is way more confrontational than I am.  He has no issue asking what a person's problem is or saying what's on his mind.  
But that's just one of the many examples where we balance each other.


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## Dye Tied

nitwhit3286 said:


> Guys are afraid to step up to the plate and actually deal with the situation at hand. I guess its because they let things roll off their shoulders when maybe then shouldn't.  Especially when they are the ones who are wrong and don't admit it...leaving the female to think that she is the guilty party. what say you??



Wake up and smell the  If you sit around EXPECTING someone to behave like _you_ think they should, then all you can expect is disappointment.


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## nitwhit3286

pixiegirl said:


> No honey, you're just scratching the surface.  No one is saying you're a bad person.  Hell, that's totally subjective anyway.  It doesn't matter what you've done wrong it's how you feel about yourself and portray yourself.  It's about bite not bark.  You can say all day that you're the most confident person in the world but if you continuously allow yourself to be treated poorly than you're showing that you're all bark and no bite.  I was famous for doing this with my ex husband and B.  Leave because they'd done something foolish but take them back as soon as they came around kissing my ass and giving me the behavior I was initially looking for.  It was always very short lived though because they knew from experience that no matter what they did I'd take them back.  It's your self image we're referring to.





thats true. I need to concentrate on me, and not people that I think are going to take me places and don't. I set myself up for failure every time. I need to learn how to rely on myself and no one else. After all is said and done, and I am where i want to be at in life, then I might take a look around for a guy.  But, after I am done with the marriage and other dudes that treat me like crap, it will be a long while before I go back to that,


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## LusbyMom

kwillia said:


> Nit, you are totally  missing his point. People ARE judgemental. It's human nature. He's trying to point out that how you chose to present yourself will be taken into account as an immediate opinion is formed about you by each and every person you come in contact with and that formed opinion will have a play in how people treat you.



I chatted with Nit last night and right off the bat I thought she was GREAT :shrug:


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## nitwhit3286

Dye Tied said:


> Wake up and smell the  If you sit around EXPECTING someone to behave like _you_ think they should, then all you can expect is disappointment.





and thats what sucks so hard. When you think the other party should step up to the plate and don't.  Everyone has their own way of dealing with things.  I just feel the need to be open about it.


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## nitwhit3286

LusbyMom said:


> I chatted with Nit last night and right off the bat I thought she was GREAT :shrug:



I think you are pretty fabulous yourself!


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## KingFish




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## BadGirl

nitwhit3286 said:


> ...... *I need to concentrate on me* .....


With a toddler to be responsible for, concentrating on yourself is incredibly selfish.  Think about her for a change, and set an example for her to be proud of.


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## nitwhit3286

BadGirl said:


> With a toddler to be responsible for, concentrating on yourself is incredibly selfish.  Think about her for a change, and set an example for her to be proud of.





geez, I forgot I had a kid for a minute. Yeah.....all I do is concentrate on her. I spend every day and evening with her.  i am the number 1 parent here.  She is right next to me as a matter of fact.  on the floor playing with her bilingual sesame street toy.. fun stuff!  Cat "gato"  Dog "perro"


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## K_Jo

kwillia said:


> Yeah, but I think what mmdad is trying to say is that typically when a guy taps a chick that he knows is married... odds are he isn't in it for the long haul... :shrug:


WHAT? 


nitwhit3286 said:


> what?!??! you don't have a myspace? what is wrong with you? ha!


Of course she has one.  She's just shy.


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## Foxhound

I admit I don't do confrontation well. My most serious problem is I will put up with something instead of dealing with it. To avoid hurting peoples feelings as well as my own.


Is that what you were expecting?


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## nitwhit3286

Hey I don't have any hard feelings. I'm like whatever..seriously there are a lot of underlying details that I am not willing to put out on the open forums....but hey its cool. 

And by the way.. hi there juggy. I see you.


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## Chain729

BadGirl said:


> With a toddler to be responsible for, concentrating on yourself is incredibly selfish.  Think about her for a change, and set an example for her to be proud of.



True.  However, if you can't take care of yourself, how can you take care of anyone else?  My advice is to sit down and look at where you and where you want to be- both for yourself and your daughter.  What do you want?  Who do you want to be in all your roles?  What's it going to take to get there?  Right it down... paper, blog, journal, whatever.  Then set long-term goals and realistic, short-term "mini-goals" to make the long-term happen.  Then, DO THEM.



Foxhound said:


> I admit I don't do confrontation well. My most serious problem is I will put up with something instead of dealing with it. To avoid hurting peoples feelings as well as my own.
> 
> 
> Is that what you were expecting?



I have the opposite problem.  "Hey look a small obstacle!"  :freighttrain:


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## nitwhit3286

*oh badgirl...*

Men and Confrontation... 	12-13-2007 12:50 PM 	Badgirl is a great example.  Stole another womans husband and had a baby with him outside of marriage.


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## itsbob

nitwhit3286 said:


> Men and Confrontation... 	12-13-2007 12:50 PM 	Badgirl is a great example.  Stole another womans husband and had a baby with him outside of marriage.



What her and i did, is really nobody's business except to her and me.. 

Makes her no less of a GREAT mom to OUR son.


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## nitwhit3286

itsbob said:


> What her and i did, is really nobody's business except to her and me..
> 
> Makes her no less of a GREAT mom to her son.



yet I get on here and I get bashed...go frickin figure. 

 	Men and Confrontation... 	12-13-2007 01:10 PM 	Congratulations - you're a bigger dipstick than I thought and I didn't think that was possible. 

Everyone can stay far away from me...once I get my life in order I am not going to be dealing with the married man who doesn't know what he wants....and he can't be a man and handle the situation.....no more!  They can all go and #### themselves.


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## itsbob

nitwhit3286 said:


> !  They can all go and #### themselves.



I didn't bash you.. but i don't want to go blind either..


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## Foxhound

nitwhit3286 said:


> yet I get on here and I get bashed...go frickin figure.
> 
> Men and Confrontation... 	12-13-2007 01:10 PM 	Congratulations - you're a bigger dipstick than I thought and I didn't think that was possible.
> 
> Everyone can stay far away from me...once I get my life in order I am not going to be dealing with the married man who doesn't know what he wants....and he can't be a man and handle the situation.....no more!  They can all go and #### themselves.





I think if we could most of us would.


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## Dye Tied

nitwhit3286 said:


> yet I get on here and I get bashed...go frickin figure.
> 
> Men and Confrontation... 	12-13-2007 01:10 PM 	Congratulations - you're a bigger dipstick than I thought and I didn't think that was possible.
> 
> Everyone can stay far away from me...once I get my life in order I am not going to be dealing with the married man who doesn't know what he wants....and he can't be a man and handle the situation.....no more!  They can all go and #### themselves.



Maybe you need to stop posting your PRIVATE life on here. It's not just your life that's getting tossed out there. How inconsiderate.


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## BadGirl

nitwhit3286 said:


> Men and Confrontation... 	12-13-2007 12:50 PM 	Badgirl is a great example.  Stole another womans husband and had a baby with him outside of marriage.


I have nothing to be ashamed of, nor do I have anything to regret.  I'm living a pretty great life right now....something that seems to escape you and many other people. 

Besides, I don't start threads bemoaning my unloving relationships, endlessly hit up my dad for money, or speak on-and-on about needing a man to take care of me.


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## LordStanley

nitwhit3286 said:


> I need to concentrate on me, and not people that *I think are going to take me places and don't*



This is why your marriage failed and so will the rest of your relationships.  You live in this princess fantasy world were every guy you meet is supposed to be your sugar daddy and support you.  (and now your kid)

Freaking grow up already.  

This is what happens when parents continue to coddle thier adult child.  They expect everyone to take care of them, and never learn to support themselves.  

in this day and age Nit, no man wants to deal with a stay at home, spoiled trophy wife.  

Cause in the end they are never happy, and when she divorces him, she gets half of something that she has never worked for!


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## BadGirl

Men and Confrontation... 12-13-2007 01:39 PM OH SO SINCE YOU DIDNT START A THREAD ABOUT IT I GUESS ITS OK TO STEAL ANOTHER WOMANS HUSBAND, CAN SOMEONE SAY HYPOCRITE

"Stealing" someone is called kidnapping.  Last I checked, I've never been in jail for kidnapping.

You know nothing of our private business because it's, well, private.  But rest assured that everyone (including the ex) is in a happier and better place for it.


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## nitwhit3286

Dye Tied said:


> Maybe you need to stop posting your PRIVATE life on here. It's not just your life that's getting tossed out there. How inconsiderate.



Oh please!!!  Everyone on here thinks they are all high and mighty.. I don't do anything wrong type of attitude. you know why marriages last how long they do last...??? Because either the man or the woman of the relationship goes out and has somehting on the side. I have heard it many times before.  What I am dealing with is a real issue. I am not going to hide and say I don't make mistakes. I'm human, we all do.  Maybe more people need to be honest, instead of bashing one another and then the truth comes out in karma.  Admit when you do something wrong. I have, I have learned from my mistakes and I am moving on.


----------



## onebdzee

nitwhit3286 said:


> Oh please!!!  Everyone on here thinks they are all high and mighty.. I don't do anything wrong type of attitude. you know why marriages last how long they do last...??? *Because either the man or the woman of the relationship goes out and has somehting on the side.* I have heard it many times before.  What I am dealing with is a real issue. I am not going to hide and say I don't make mistakes. I'm human, we all do.  Maybe more people need to be honest, instead of bashing one another and then the truth comes out in karma.  Admit when you do something wrong. I have, I have learned from my mistakes and I am moving on.



What fantasy world do you live in?....I know quit a few have been married for 20+ years and neither one of them have EVER done this


----------



## nitwhit3286

onebdzee said:


> What fantasy world do you live in?....I know quit a few have been married for 20+ years and neither one of them have EVER done this





its totally kept hush hush..who on earth would tell? especially have 20 years, come on think!


----------



## USWWarrior




----------



## nitwhit3286

seriously people, cheating happens probably more often than you think.  Now who is in fantasy world huh?


----------



## LordStanley

nitwhit3286 said:


> its totally kept hush hush..who on earth would tell? especially have 20 years, come on think!



So you would condone your dad cheating on your mom?


----------



## lovinmaryland

nitwhit3286 said:


> seriously people, cheating happens probably more often than you think.  Now who is in fantasy world huh?



I actually agree with her :shrug:.  I think there is a lot more cheating going on than people really think.


----------



## nomoney

BadGirl said:


> Men and Confrontation... 12-13-2007 01:39 PM OH SO SINCE YOU DIDNT START A THREAD ABOUT IT I GUESS ITS OK TO STEAL ANOTHER WOMANS HUSBAND, CAN SOMEONE SAY HYPOCRITE
> 
> "Stealing" someone is called kidnapping. Last I checked, I've never been in jail for kidnapping.
> 
> You know nothing of our private business because it's, well, private. But rest assured that everyone (including the ex) is in a happier and better place for it.


 

wow, what a great holiday spirit this nosey biddy is in huh? 

I love you and your stolen hubby bg


----------



## nitwhit3286

LordStanley said:


> So you would condone your dad cheating on your mom?





do you honest to God really want me to answer that question?  You may not like what you read.


----------



## LordStanley

lovinmaryland said:


> I actually agree with her :shrug:.  I think there is a lot more cheating going on than people really think.



Her problem isnt with men, its herself.  she is using men to make an excuse for her short commings.


----------



## Foxhound

nitwhit3286 said:


> Oh please!!!  Everyone on here thinks they are all high and mighty.. I don't do anything wrong type of attitude. you know why marriages last how long they do last...??? Because either the man or the woman of the relationship goes out and has somehting on the side. I have heard it many times before.  What I am dealing with is a real issue. I am not going to hide and say I don't make mistakes. I'm human, we all do.  Maybe more people need to be honest, instead of bashing one another and then the truth comes out in karma.  Admit when you do something wrong. I have, I have learned from my mistakes and I am moving on.





That's not true. My ex and I were married for 20. We didn't separate because of infidelity. Not that there weren't times either one of us had thought about it. It's about love and respect. For yourself and who you are with. If you have those the rest doesn't matter. If you don't then it is doomed from the start. 

More often than not it's ones feelings about ones self that is the cause of failures.


JMHO


----------



## LordStanley

nitwhit3286 said:


> do you honest to God really want me to answer that question?  You may not like what you read.



If you said yes, and he has, then it would all make sense...  Children tend to follow in thier parents footsteps


----------



## 2ndAmendment

If you want to cheat, you shouldn't have gotten married to the person you married. If you truly love the person you marry, then the people, man or woman, will work at being a companion and a helpmate. Marriage is not about sex. It is about finding the person that makes you feel complete. The one that you want to be with. The one you care about what happens to them and what makes them happy. Marriage is finding the person you want to think about and do for just because you love them and not for what you think you might get out of it.

If you feel the need to cheat, you are being selfish.


----------



## nitwhit3286

LordStanley said:


> If you said yes, and he has, then it would all make sense...  Children tend to follow in thier parents footsteps



do you go out of your way to be an a*hole.. I hear your wife is pretty..I feel sorry for her. Anyways... going on 25 years of marriage and my parents have maintained a loving and caring marriage.  I feel bad for my dad, he has put up a lot with my mom over the years.  Guess thats why i'm such a pistol.


----------



## nomoney

nitwhit3286 said:


> do you go out of your way to be an a*hole.. I hear your wife is pretty..I feel sorry for her. Anyways... going on 25 years of marriage and my parents have maintained a loving and caring marriage. I feel bad for my dad, he has put up a lot with my mom over the years. Guess thats why i'm such a pistol.


 

his wife is really pretty, but i went to highschool with her....I feel sorry for him


----------



## lovinmaryland

2ndAmendment said:


> If you want to cheat, you shouldn't have gotten married to the person you married. If you truly love the person you marry, then the people, man or woman, will work at being a companion and a helpmate. Marriage is not about sex. It is about finding the person that makes you feel complete. The one that you want to be with. The one you care about what happens to them and what makes them happy. Marriage is finding the person you want to think about and do for just because you love them and not for what you think you might get out of it.
> 
> If you feel the need to cheat, you are being selfish.




Your right marriage isnt about sex, however sex is a part of a relationship and if it is not fulfilled to one parties satisfaction (what ever that level is) people do look elsewhere.  I am not condoning or condeming it to each their own.  But it does happen and I think a lot of people in these supposed "perfect realtionships" turn a blind eye to it.


----------



## nitwhit3286

LordStanley said:


> Her problem isnt with men, its herself.  she is using men to make an excuse for her short commings.





right......well let me clue you in on a little something. See my sig line?  Right below where my post is...yeah that. Read it a couple times....ok... you want to know who said that?  baby daddy has been out on the boat, and he writes me n email every day. I write back of course.  You read that and tell me he doesn't love me. He still does, he knows the situation, and yet still wants to be a family. I am the idiot for not wanting the same thing. Here I am....acting stupid....and he is the one that puts up with all my crap day after day after day. No one else does.  That right there is a man.  i am just too silly to see it. i want to go and chase after married dudes that tell me one thing and then go do another.  Having me wrapped around their finger. No, seriously I am done with that whole situation. I am not getting into it anymore than I am because at the end of the day he still lives in somd..and I am down here in va beach.  Things that I may say....well it would be a sad scenerio. I do have a couple nice bones left in my body.


----------



## nitwhit3286

lovinmaryland said:


> Your right marriage isnt about sex, however sex is a part of a relationship and if it is not fulfilled to one parties satisfaction (what ever that level is) people do look elsewhere.  I am not condoning or condeming it to each their own.  But it does happen and I think a lot of people in these supposed "perfect realtionships" turn a blind eye to it.



definitely. I think you need to be fulfilled in all aspects of your relationship, if you're not you look elsewhere.  Yeah silly stupid me, but I wasn't looking for sexual gratification, believe that or not.


----------



## Ehesef

Nit - I sincerely hope that you do an awful lot of growing up and realize how selfish and juvenile you are before it's too late. It'd be a shame for you to end up a bitter old ##### and even more sad if you pass off your feelings about men, love and relationships to your daughter. I hope, for her sake, that you get your #### together.


----------



## lovinmaryland

nitwhit3286 said:


> right......well let me clue you in on a little something. See my sig line?  Right below where my post is...yeah that. Read it a couple times....ok... you want to know who said that?  baby daddy has been out on the boat, and he writes me n email every day. I write back of course.  You read that and tell me he doesn't love me. He still does, he knows the situation, and yet still wants to be a family. I am the idiot for not wanting the same thing. Here I am....acting stupid....and he is the one that puts up with all my crap day after day after day. No one else does.  That right there is a man.  i am just too silly to see it. i want to go and chase after married dudes that tell me one thing and then go do another.  Having me wrapped around their finger. No, seriously I am done with that whole situation. I am not getting into it anymore than I am because at the end of the day he still lives in somd..and I am down here in va beach.  Things that I may say....well it would be a sad scenerio. I do have a couple nice bones left in my body.




Obviously you were not truly happy in that relationship so being with him just because he loves you and wants to make it work isnt going to fix that.

That is the truth right there... if you get back together with him the same issues will just pop up a few months down the road.  

You are young and just do not know what you really want.  There is nothing wrong with that.  *Find out who you are and what you want*


----------



## nitwhit3286

Ehesef said:


> Nit - I sincerely hope that you do an awful lot of growing up and realize how selfish and juvenile you are before it's too late. It'd be a shame for you to end up a bitter old ##### and even more sad if you pass off your feelings about men, love and relationships to your daughter. I hope, for her sake, that you get your #### together.



no, I will let her form her own opinions.  Especially when she is old enough to do so. Maybe I will change...but in 21 years....I have remained the same. Talking to my ex the other day...and how we dated back 5 years ok..and he said "you haven't changed one bit. I guess thats good to know what you want, and you do know what you want. You have always had that attitude. You have also had the attitude about getting everything without doing anything for it. That hasn't changed."  then he continued on his "parent" speech.


----------



## nitwhit3286

lovinmaryland said:


> Obviously you were not truly happy in that relationship so being with him just because he loves you and wants to make it work isnt going to fix that.
> 
> That is the truth right there... if you get back together with him the same issues will just pop up a few months down the road.
> 
> You are young and just do not know what you really want.  There is nothing wrong with that.  *Find out who you are and what you want*



I plan on doing so.  Definitely one of the reasons why I moved back home.


----------



## LordStanley

nitwhit3286 said:


> do you go out of your way to be an a*hole.. I hear your wife is pretty..I feel sorry for her. Anyways... going on 25 years of marriage and my parents have maintained a loving and caring marriage.  I feel bad for my dad, he has put up a lot with my mom over the years.  Guess thats why i'm such a pistol.



No, Im just a natural a$$hole.  

My wife is beautiful.  And why feel sorry for her.  She loves everything that is right about me and everything that is wrong with me.  and wouldnt have me any other way.   If anything you should be jealous, cause you may never have what she has.


----------



## LordStanley

nitwhit3286 said:


> right......well let me clue you in on a little something. See my sig line?  Right below where my post is...yeah that. Read it a couple times....ok... you want to know who said that?  baby daddy has been out on the boat, and he writes me n email every day. I write back of course.  You read that and tell me he doesn't love me. He still does, he knows the situation, and yet still wants to be a family. I am the idiot for not wanting the same thing. Here I am....acting stupid....and he is the one that puts up with all my crap day after day after day. No one else does.  That right there is a man.  i am just too silly to see it. i want to go and chase after married dudes that tell me one thing and then go do another.  Having me wrapped around their finger. No, seriously I am done with that whole situation. I am not getting into it anymore than I am because at the end of the day he still lives in somd..and I am down here in va beach.  Things that I may say....well it would be a sad scenerio. I do have a couple nice bones left in my body.



then if you know all of that... Why the phuck are you still doing it.

Here is a man, bending over backwards trying to keep his family together, yet you cant look past your own selfishness.

Then you come on here and psudo bash the dude you are cheating/had cheated on him with.   

You just dont make any freaking sense.  

one minute you are man hating.  the next your sticking up for them......


----------



## nitwhit3286

LordStanley said:


> No, Im just a natural a$$hole.
> 
> My wife is beautiful.  And why feel sorry for her.  She loves everything that is right about me and everything that is wrong with me.  and wouldnt have me any other way.   If anything you should be jealous, cause you may never have what she has.



one word..conceited.....


----------



## lovinmaryland

LordStanley said:


> then if you know all of that... Why the phuck are you still doing it.
> 
> Here is a man, bending over backwards trying to keep his family together, yet you cant look past your own selfishness.
> 
> Then you come on here and psudo bash the dude you are cheating/had cheated on him with.
> 
> You just dont make any freaking sense.
> 
> one minute you are man hating.  the next your sticking up for them......



She is young and doesnt know what she wants... 

I think deep inside she knows her husband/ex husband what ever would treat her right take care of her... but she doesnt want him (or maybe she wants him but wants to sleep with other people) so if she gets back together with him she will cheat on him again.  It may not be right away but it will happen.


----------



## LordStanley

nitwhit3286 said:


> one word..conceited.....



Are you saying Im conceited???  Far from it...


----------



## Plan B

I think that film 'Knocked Up' really had good takes on this.
You are really close on this. Men keep some independance when they could just accept all women have to offer, and women have been doomed since Eve, wanting to change men so that they can share true intimacy and responsibility.
My spouse still loves me, but does not care to sleep with me.


----------



## LordStanley

lovinmaryland said:


> She is young and doesnt know what she wants...
> 
> I think deep inside she knows her husband/ex husband what ever would treat her right take care of her... but she doesnt want him (or maybe she wants him but wants to sleep with other people) so if she gets back together with him she will cheat on him again.  It may not be right away but it will happen.




She wants attention, and anyone who will give it to her. When she dosent get it, she will look eslewhere.  No man will ever fullfill her selfdestructive behavior.


----------



## LordStanley

Plan B said:


> I think that film 'Knocked Up' really had good takes on this.
> You are really close on this. Men keep some independance when they could just accept all women have to offer, and women have been doomed since Eve, wanting to change men so that they can share true intimacy and responsibility.
> *My spouse still loves me, but does not care to sleep with me*.




What?!?!  The movie Knocked up isnt even close to her situation!

and what the hell is up with your last remark.  Not even close to the subject at hand


----------



## lovinmaryland

LordStanley said:


> She wants attention, and anyone who will give it to her. When she dosent get it, she will look eslewhere.  No man will ever fullfill her selfdestructive behavior.



That is a good take on this.

She actually reminds me of my best friend who has these same issues.  A great husband who treats her well and basically worships the ground she walks on, a wonderful daughter... but she is constantly putting herself in situations where she could and I think would take things to the next level w/ another man (married or single)


----------



## nitwhit3286

lovinmaryland said:


> That is a good take on this.
> 
> She actually reminds me of my best friend who has these same issues.  A great husband who treats her well and basically worships the ground she walks on, a wonderful daughter... but she is constantly putting herself in situations where she could and I think would take things to the next level w/ another man (married or single)



unfortunately you pinned the nail on the head with that one.


----------



## CRoyal

nitwhit3286 said:


> no, I will let her form her own opinions.  Especially when she is old enough to do so. Maybe I will change...but in 21 years....I have remained the same. Talking to my ex the other day...and how we dated back 5 years ok..and he said "you haven't changed one bit. I guess thats good to know what you want, and you do know what you want. You have always had that attitude. You have also had the attitude about getting everything without doing anything for it. That hasn't changed."  then he continued on his "parent" speech.



you're only 21? Married/seperated/kid/affair....
Least you got all the big ones out of the way before 25


----------



## LordStanley

lovinmaryland said:


> That is a good take on this.
> 
> She actually reminds me of my best friend who has these same issues.  A great husband who treats her well and basically worships the ground she walks on, a wonderful daughter... but she is constantly putting herself in situations where she could and I think would take things to the next level w/ another man (married or single)




To be honest, I dont dislike her.  However I dont feel sorry for her and the life she is choosing to live.  Support yourself before you expect someone to support you.  Emotionally and physically.

It dosent take long to figure it out.  Just some parents that will cut the leash, and put thier foot down.  

Nit needs to grow up.  Not for her sake but her daughters.  She's a role model now if she likes it or not.

You think she wants her daughter looking back when shes 23 going "I love my dad to death, and I feel sorry that he put up with my moms crap for so long.

I said it before.  Children tend to follow in thier parents footsteps and Nit is following in her moms.


----------



## nitwhit3286

CRoyal said:


> you're only 21? Married/seperated/kid/affair....
> Least you got all the big ones out of the way before 25




yeah ok.....I hope that was meant to be a joke.  But it wasn't very funny. Do you think I wanted it to happen this way? What person doesn't want their marriage to be successful?


----------



## nitwhit3286

LordStanley said:


> To be honest, I dont dislike her.  However I dont feel sorry for her and the life she is choosing to live.  Support yourself before you expect someone to support you.  Emotionally and physically.
> 
> It dosent take long to figure it out.  Just some parents that will cut the leash, and put thier foot down.
> 
> Nit needs to grow up.  Not for her sake but her daughters.  She's a role model now if she likes it or not.
> 
> You think she wants her daughter looking back when shes 23 going "I love my dad to death, and I feel sorry that he put up with my moms crap for so long.
> 
> I said it before.  Children tend to follow in thier parents footsteps and Nit is following in her moms.



if I hadn't told you would wouldn't have known I don't like people to assume..so I gave it to ya.


----------



## onebdzee

LordStanley said:


> and what the hell is up with your last remark.  Not even close to the subject at hand



He's playing the "me and my wife haven't had sex in so long(ok....it was really this morning) and I need a sympathy #### 

geesh....I'm not a guy and even I know that one


----------



## CRoyal

nitwhit3286 said:


> yeah ok.....I hope that was meant to be a joke.  But it wasn't very funny. Do you think I wanted it to happen this way? What person doesn't want their marriage to be successful?



Not meant to be funny persay, more a sense of perspective.


----------



## lovinmaryland

nitwhit3286 said:


> unfortunately you pinned the nail on the head with that one.



Do you know why?  I am not judging you at all, like I said my best friend is the same way, it is something she cant control.  She said the need to be desired by other men consumes her, it is not enough to be desired by her husband, she has gone as far as to flirt w/ married men from his work and his friends.  What I dont understand is she knows she is doing it and cant stop. :shrug:


----------



## onebdzee

nitwhit3286 said:


> What person doesn't want their marriage to be successful?



Apparently you didn't....you make your own choices in life....it was YOU that chose to have sex with someone other than your husband


----------



## LordStanley

nitwhit3286 said:


> if I hadn't told you would wouldn't have known I don't like people to assume..so I gave it to ya.



But it all makes sense, and it brings us one step closer to helping you realize that even relationships arent justed handed to you and are perfect.  They take work.  Time, effort, energy and love.  If your not will to make the sacrifice, then there is no help for you.

If your willing to work it out with your childs father, then you need to stop this destructive behavior.

If not, and the relationship is truely over, you need to erase your sig line.  Cause all your saying at that point, is no matter how much I #### on him, he still loves me, and Im a selfcentered spoiled brat.


----------



## lovinmaryland

LordStanley said:


> To be honest, I dont dislike her.  However I dont feel sorry for her and the life she is choosing to live.  Support yourself before you expect someone to support you.  Emotionally and physically.
> 
> It dosent take long to figure it out.  Just some parents that will cut the leash, and put thier foot down.
> 
> Nit needs to grow up.  Not for her sake but her daughters.  She's a role model now if she likes it or not.
> 
> You think she wants her daughter looking back when shes 23 going "I love my dad to death, and I feel sorry that he put up with my moms crap for so long.
> 
> I said it before.  Children tend to follow in thier parents footsteps and Nit is following in her moms.




I do fell sorry for her.......do you honestly think she intends to hurt any of these people?  There is obviously some underlying issue that may need to be addressed.


----------



## LordStanley

lovinmaryland said:


> Do you know why?  I am not judging you at all, like I said my best friend is the same way, it is something she cant control.  She said the need to be desired by other men consumes her, it is not enough to be desired by her husband, she has gone as far as to flirt w/ married men from his work and his friends.  What I dont understand is she knows she is doing it and cant stop. :shrug:



Hey you know what... If thats the case, then so be it.  At least your friend understands what her obsession is.

And if Nit is has the same issue.  Than so be it.  Thats life right.

But dont start bashing on the Ex or the current fling or men in general.  Its not our fault that some of us arent willing to play the game.


----------



## LordStanley

lovinmaryland said:


> I do fell sorry for her.......do you honestly think she intends to hurt any of these people?  There is obviously some underlying issue that may need to be addressed.



No I dont think she intends to hurt anyone.  But addictions tend to hurt the ones you love more than yourself...


----------



## lovinmaryland

LordStanley said:


> Hey you know what... If thats the case, then so be it.  At least your friend understands what her obsession is.
> 
> And if Nit is has the same issue.  Than so be it.  Thats life right.
> 
> But dont start bashing on the Ex or the current fling or men in general.  Its not our fault that some of us arent willing to play the game.



I agree it is not the ex/fling/or men in general fault at all, and I dont know the specifics of her relationships, but I cant see her doing all of this stuff on purpose to intentionally hurt anyone.


----------



## Foxhound

I was trying to make a post earlier when my darn laptop shut off cause it was too cold. Anyway...

You can't steal something that can't be owned. A person has their own will and cannot be "stolen".


----------



## lushlips44

nomoney said:


> his wife is really pretty, but i went to highschool with her....I feel sorry for him



Is that because I'm such a pistol!!!!


----------



## Dye Tied

nitwhit3286 said:


> Oh please!!!  Everyone on here thinks they are all high and mighty.. I don't do anything wrong type of attitude. you know why marriages last how long they do last...??? Because either the man or the woman of the relationship goes out and has somehting on the side. I have heard it many times before.  What I am dealing with is a real issue. I am not going to hide and say I don't make mistakes. I'm human, we all do.  Maybe more people need to be honest, instead of bashing one another and then the truth comes out in karma.  Admit when you do something wrong. I have, I have learned from my mistakes and I am moving on.



I'm far from high and mighty. You're a dumb beyotch for posting about Juggy on here. He made a mistake with you, no need to drag his name into the forum just to try and make him look bad. You have no real issue except the issue of you not having a clue about life. People get divorced for many reasons. Like Foxhound I was married 25 years, we grew in different directions.
You felt you had to admit your "wrongdoing" here just for attention. You are a sad, pathetic excuse for a woman.


----------



## PrepH4U

Dye Tied said:


> I'm far from high and mighty. You're a dumb beyotch for posting about Juggy on here. He made a mistake with you, no need to drag his name into the forum just to try and make him look bad. You have no real issue except the issue of you not having a clue about life. People get divorced for many reasons. Like Foxhound I was married 25 years, we grew in different directions.
> You felt you had to admit your "wrongdoing" here just for attention. You are a sad, pathetic excuse for a woman.



 Tea & crumpets? 

I guess she is hurting and it makes her feel better to post all her dirt on here.  She is young and will learn that trying to get revenge by making someone else look as bad as she herself is.  Does nothing but make her look more like a whining loser!  Put your big girl panties on nitty and deal with it like a grown up.


----------



## Dye Tied

PrepH4U said:


> Tea & crumpets?
> 
> I guess she is hurting and it makes her feel better to post all her dirt on here.  She is young and will learn that trying to get revenge by making someone else look as bad as she herself is.  Does nothing but make her look more like a whining loser!  Put your big girl panties on nitty and deal with it like a grown up.



Eggnog and crumpets


----------



## lushlips44

Nit......I finally got through all the posts and I am finding it hard to feel sorry for you.  It does however make me feel sorry for your husband.  Here he is in the military and deployed here at Pax and his wife is cheating on him.  Why did you marry him if you didn't think you could handle the military life (ie. the possibility of deployment or lont-term separations).  And getting married because of becoming pregnant isn't an excuse.  I got pregnant with our child before we got married and decided that the child was not going to make us get married.  If we were truely supposed to be together then it would happen when the time is right and eventually we did.  I understand you are young and possibly naive, but you are an adult and have to take responsibility for your actions.  

I think it is wrong to bash your husband when you are the one who cheated.  He is doing his job; one which he as in before you got together.  Please take resposibility for your action and start thinking about you child and stop thinking about yourself.  Try to be a good role model for her and hope that she doesn't turn out to be selfish; like her mom is being right now.


----------



## Dye Tied

Guess what Nit Twit? Lots of people on here have all kinds of crap going on in the background. Marriages, divorces, deaths, bad kids, illnesses, no jobs..etc. 
Most of them aren't on here moaning and whining about it or trying to bring attention to themselves by calling others out. Use them as an example because in the long run, who are really your friends on here?


----------



## Pandora

Psssttt, people on here love this stuff Nit, don't let them fool ya!  Just look, your little thread here has 130 sum post and has only been up 1/2 the time as the thread involving a child hit by a school bus.  :shrug:  I'm just saying is all!


----------



## BiteMeBaby

Pandora said:


> Psssttt, people on here love this stuff Nit, don't let them fool ya!  Just look, your little thread here has 130 sum post and has only been up 1/2 the time as the thread involving a child hit by a school bus.  :shrug:  I'm just saying is all!



maybe you can offer up some sage marriage advice.


----------



## Wenchy

BiteMeBaby said:


> maybe you can offer up some sage marriage advice.



Can you?


----------



## nitwhit3286

Pandora said:


> Psssttt, people on here love this stuff Nit, don't let them fool ya!  Just look, your little thread here has 130 sum post and has only been up 1/2 the time as the thread involving a child hit by a school bus.  :shrug:  I'm just saying is all!





crap I needed to start some kind of buzz...if anyone really knows me, most of you don't. I tend to blow things up and out of proportion. I figured the forums were slow and seemed like everyone needed a scapegoat...so ta-da!


----------



## RoseRed

nitwhit3286 said:


> crap I needed to start some kind of buzz...if anyone really knows me, most of you don't. I tend to blow things up and out of proportion. I figured the forums were slow and seemed like everyone needed a scapegoat...so ta-da!



Why don't you wish everyone a good night.


----------



## Kain99

RoseRed said:


> Why don't you wish everyone a good night.



That's no fun!


----------



## RoseRed

Kain99 said:


> That's no fun!



:shrug:


----------



## Pandora

Kain99 said:


> That's no fun!



Yeah really, you might only get like 10 post in your thread, if your lucky! Shesh


----------



## Kain99

Pandora said:


> Yeah really, you might only get like 10 post in your thread, if your lucky! Shesh



This baby has legs!  I'd keep it walking!


----------



## Pandora

Kain99 said:


> This baby has legs!  I'd keep it walking!




Well, all the threads that open one up to be criticized and judged normally have legs.


----------



## missperky

My eyes hurt now..


----------



## Pandora

missperky said:


> My eyes hurt now..



You should have known better than to read past the first page.


----------



## missperky

Pandora said:


> You should have known better than to read past the first page.



I read every freakin page...


----------



## Pandora

missperky said:


> I read every freakin page...



And your eyes just hurt?  I would have thought they would have popped out and rolled under your desk.   

I don't read these threads.  I just come strolling to the end and post.


----------



## missperky

Pandora said:


> And your eyes just hurt?  I would have thought they would have popped out and rolled under your desk.
> 
> I don't read these threads.  I just come strolling to the end and post.


I think I lost an eye...


----------



## BS Gal

onebdzee said:


> What fantasy world do you live in?....I know quit a few have been married for 20+ years and neither one of them have EVER done this


----------



## lushlips44

You know, if you are going to give someone bad karma, at least have the nerve to sign your name to it so I have the change to kick you in the arse!

Oh, and I know that the life of a military wife isn't easy, my mom was one for over 20 years and she was able to survive without cheating on my dad.  They have been married for about 40 years.  So don't try and use that excuse.


----------



## lushlips44

Pandora said:


> Psssttt, people on here love this stuff Nit, don't let them fool ya!  Just look, your little thread here has 130 sum post and has only been up 1/2 the time as the thread involving a child hit by a school bus.  :shrug:  I'm just saying is all!



You're in here aren't you.....
Besides, anyone who airs their dirty laundry on here deserves what they get.  It's hard to listen to someone who says she has morals, but cheats on her husband......


----------



## Pandora

lushlips44 said:


> You're in here aren't you.....
> Besides, anyone who airs their dirty laundry on here deserves what they get.  It's hard to listen to someone who says she has morals, but cheats on her husband......




Yeah, we should condemn them, because the world is just so perfect and the people in it should have no faults, not even one.


----------



## lushlips44

Pandora said:


> Yeah, we should condemn them, because the world is just so perfect and the people in it should have no faults, not even one.



I'm not condemning her.  She trying to make her husband look bad for something she did.  She is in the wrong and not taking responsibility for her actions, but trying to blame him for letting things roll off his shoulder instead of confronting the situation........ does she mean the situation where she CHEATED on him.........give me a break.


----------



## Kain99

lushlips44 said:


> I'm not condemning her.  She trying to make her husband look bad for something she did.  She is in the wrong and not taking responsibility for her actions, but trying to blame him for letting things roll off his shoulder instead of confronting the situation........ does she mean the situation where she CHEATED on him.........give me a break.



Careful Sister.... All that judgement, will fall back on ya.  Thats how life works.  We play with karma here but life don't play!


----------



## meangirl

Kain99 said:


> Careful Sister.... All that judgement, will fall back on ya. Thats how life works. We play with karma here but life don't play!


 
Well said Kain.


----------



## lushlips44

Kain99 said:


> Careful Sister.... All that judgement, will fall back on ya.  Thats how life works.  We play with karma here but life don't play!



The truth hurts and if you don't want to hear what people say, don't ask them and don't put it on somd forums.

I know how the real world works, I live in it everyday!  Thanks!  No ones life is perfect and the last time I checked, we aren't related.


----------



## Kain99

lushlips44 said:


> The truth hurts and if you don't want to hear what people say, don't ask them and don't put it on somd forums.
> 
> I know how the real world works, I live in it everyday!  Thanks!  No ones life is perfect and the last time I checked, we aren't related.



It's your world darlin.


----------



## lushlips44

Kain99 said:


> It's your world darlin.



The world is what you make it.


----------



## Foxhound

I think the real condemnation here is for dragging other people into her discussion and blaming their actions instead of looking at her own for an answer.

I'm just guessing this is what keeps this thing on it's tracks.


----------



## Pandora

lushlips44 said:


> I'm not condemning her.  She trying to make her husband look bad for something she did.  She is in the wrong and not taking responsibility for her actions, but trying to blame him for letting things roll off his shoulder instead of confronting the situation........ does she mean the situation where she CHEATED on him.........give me a break.



I was going to refrain from saying anything at all about this issue.  This is not advice from me but advice that was given to me awhile back.  We all have a tendency to talk ourselves into things we shouldn’t do.  But think back to some of the mistakes you’ve made.  You don’t have to say what those are, but if you looked back, you knew it was a mistake, and you did it anyway.   Why?  Well, I have found that we most likely wouldn’t have made that mistake had we knew those answers at that time. 

I have watched Nitwits threads since she has been on this board, and they have followed the same pattern.  She talked herself into it.  She didn’t fall into it or get over her head in a situation she was in, but basically, she talked herself into it.  Why?  Lonely? Insecure? Got tied down too young? Feels tied down?  Maybe she wants her freedom?

Once she finds out those answers, I believe she might just find herself a happier person, but I am just not going to participate in kicking somebody square in the gut when they appear to already be down.  :shrug:

And we are all related in many ways.  We all feel and hurt don't we?


----------



## Kain99

Foxhound said:


> I think the real condemnation here is for dragging other people into her discussion and blaming their actions instead of looking at her own for an answer.
> 
> I'm just guessing this is what keeps this thing on it's tracks.



But we are teachers Fox... Not condemers. Let'slift her with education!


----------



## lushlips44

Pandora said:


> I was going to refrain from saying anything at all about this issue.  This is not advice from me but advice that was given to me awhile back.  We all have a tendency to talk ourselves into things we shouldn’t do.  But think back to some of the mistakes you’ve made.  You don’t have to say what those are, but if you looked back, you knew it was a mistake, and you did it anyway.   Why?  Well, I have found that we most likely wouldn’t have made that mistake had we knew those answers at that time.
> 
> I have watched Nitwits threads since she has been on this board, and they have followed the same pattern.  She talked herself into it.  She didn’t fall into it or get over her head in a situation she was in, but basically, she talked herself into it.  Why?  Lonely? Insecure? Got tied down too young? Feels tied down?  Maybe she wants her freedom?
> 
> Once she finds out those answers, I believe she might just find herself a happier person, but I am just not going to participate in kicking somebody square in the gut when they appear to already be down.  :shrug:
> 
> And we are all related in many ways.  We all feel and hurt don't we?



I understand where you are coming from, but maybe the forums isn't the best place to find help in this situation when there are variety of views both positive and negative.  If I was having a problem like that I would be turning to family or my closest friend.

Like I said, I am not perfect, but if I were to post my life in the forum then I would expect to receive all types of threads not just the positive.


----------



## Kain99

lushlips44 said:


> I understand where you are coming from, but maybe the forums isn't the best place to find help in this situation when there are variety of views both positive and negative.  If I was having a problem like that I would be turning to family or my closest friend.
> 
> Like I said, I am not perfect, but if I were to post my life in the forum then I would expect to receive all types of threads not just the positive.



Some people view forumites as their friends.... True story.


----------



## lushlips44

Kain99 said:


> Some people view forumites as their friends.... True story.



Oh, I know.....I've seen it.  Some of my friends have good friends on here.  I'm glad that you are able to say the same thing.


----------



## Pandora

lushlips44 said:


> I understand where you are coming from, but maybe the forums isn't the best place to find help in this situation when there are variety of views both positive and negative.  If I was having a problem like that I would be turning to family or my closest friend.
> 
> Like I said, I am not perfect, but if I were to post my life in the forum then I would expect to receive all types of threads not just the positive.



Not everyone has that venue.  She might not have any close friends or she just might not feel comfortable discussing this with her friends, shame will do that, you know.  She might even know that they will say something like... deal with it... think of your child... or blow it off and say... oh everyone goes through that... Or, worse, they'd open up a bible and make you feel like the biggest sinner that walked the face of the Earth and tell you divorce is an abomination and an embarrassment to the family? 

I don't know about you, but when I first came into Internet chats/forums, I thought people would respond to me like they were in my face talking to me.  It isn't always that way when people can be passive aggressive and downright mean online without any personal responsibility for doing so.  

If she has the ability to go to a counselor, that would be a better option, no doubt.


----------



## tomchamp

Pandora said:


> Not everyone has that venue.  She might not have any close friends or she just might not feel comfortable discussing this with her friends, shame will do that, you know.  She might even know that they will say something like... deal with it... think of your child... or blow it off and say... oh everyone goes through that... Or, worse, they'd open up a bible and make you feel like the biggest sinner that walked the face of the Earth and tell you divorce is an abomination and an embarrassment to the family?
> 
> I don't know about you, but when I first came into Internet chats/forums, I thought people would respond to me like they were in my face talking to me.  It isn't always that way when people can be passive aggressive and downright mean online without any personal responsibility for doing so.
> 
> If she has the ability to go to a counselor, that would be a better option, no doubt.




I love how smart you arn't


----------



## Pandora

tomchamp said:


> I love how smart you arn't



Are you stalking me? 

I feel stalked.  :creepy:


----------



## meangirl

Pandora said:


> Not everyone has that venue. She might not have any close friends or she just might not feel comfortable discussing this with her friends, shame will do that, you know. She might even know that they will say something like... deal with it... think of your child... or blow it off and say... oh everyone goes through that... Or, worse, they'd open up a bible and make you feel like the biggest sinner that walked the face of the Earth and tell you divorce is an abomination and an embarrassment to the family?
> 
> I don't know about you, but when I first came into Internet chats/forums, I thought people would respond to me like they were in my face talking to me. It isn't always that way when people can be passive aggressive and downright mean online without any personal responsibility for doing so.
> 
> If she has the ability to go to a counselor, that would be a better option, no doubt.


 
Exactly!  

Also, she is very young.  She's still very much in the learning stage of married life.  We *all *make mistakes but it's funny how so many rag on her for hers.


----------



## tomchamp

Pandora said:


> Are you stalking me?
> 
> I feel stalked.  :creepy:



Do better please!


----------



## Kain99

meangirl said:


> Exactly!
> 
> Also, she is very young.  She's still very much in the learning stage of married life.  We *all *make mistakes but it's funny how so many rag on her for hers.



The biggest raggers are the most insecure.... Got money on that stuff!


----------



## LordStanley

Kain99 said:


> Some people view forumites as their friends.... True story.




Friends or not, she has issues and spilling them on the forums for attention or answers is not the solution.  

Its always the same old bit from her.  Woe is me, Woe is me, thats all we hear from her.  


Men this, men that.... My life sucks....  Bla bla bla.  

SOMD.com is not the place for help and you by all people should know that.

If she didnt want to get rolled up in this whole mess she calls her life, then she should have thought about that before she had unprotected sex at a young age.  You can blame her and her husband/ex for what they put themselves into.  But at least he is trying to make things work.  

Who's the one cheating on who???.... Yeah I thought so.


----------



## meangirl

LordStanley said:


> Friends or not, she has issues and spilling them on the forums for attention or answers is not the solution.
> 
> Its always the same old bit from her. Woe is me, Woe is me, thats all we hear from her.
> 
> 
> Men this, men that.... My life sucks.... Bla bla bla.
> 
> SOMD.com is not the place for help and you by all people should know that.
> 
> If she didnt want to get rolled up in this whole mess she calls her life, then she should have thought about that before she had unprotected sex at a young age. You can blame her and her husband/ex for what they put themselves into. But at least he is trying to make things work.
> 
> Who's the one cheating on who???.... Yeah I thought so.


 
Do you *really *care? I mean, it bothers you that much that she cheated on her husband?  Wow.  Odd that.


----------



## Kain99

LordStanley said:


> Friends or not, she has issues and spilling them on the forums for attention or answers is not the solution.
> 
> Its always the same old bit from her.  Woe is me, Woe is me, thats all we hear from her.
> 
> 
> Men this, men that.... My life sucks....  Bla bla bla.
> 
> SOMD.com is not the place for help and you by all people should know that.
> 
> If she didnt want to get rolled up in this whole mess she calls her life, then she should have thought about that before she had unprotected sex at a young age.  You can blame her and her husband/ex for what they put themselves into.  But at least he is trying to make things work.
> 
> Who's the one cheating on who???.... Yeah I thought so.



Oh how wrong you are... SOMD is the best place in the world for help! Lived here forever, trust me.


----------



## LordStanley

Men and Confrontation... 12-13-2007 07:10 PM That's the biggest crock of ####. I am a SAHM and my husband loves it and always has. 

  I have no problems with SAHM as long as your not cheating on your husband.

Are you cheating on your husband like Nitwhit???


----------



## LordStanley

Kain99 said:


> Oh how wrong you are... SOMD is the best place in the world for help! Lived here forever, trust me.



SOMD or SOMD.com

She needs counseling not forum chit chat!


----------



## meangirl

LordStanley said:


> Men and Confrontation... 12-13-2007 07:10 PM That's the biggest crock of ####. I am a SAHM and my husband loves it and always has.
> 
> I have no problems with SAHM as long as your not cheating on your husband.
> 
> Are you cheating on your husband like Nitwhit???


 


That wasn't me ya'll.  I swear.


----------



## LordStanley

meangirl said:


> Do you *really *care? I mean, it bothers you that much that she cheated on her husband?  Wow.  Odd that.



yes I do, and I care about you too


----------



## Kain99

LordStanley said:


> SOMD or SOMD.com
> 
> She needs counseling not forum chit chat!



Maybe she cannot afford counseling......... Maybe we are all she has. I'm gonna be honest,  I think we aere better than counseling!


----------



## Nickel

Epiphany: Maybe the reason Nitwhit gets ragged on so often is that she is the epitome of our past mistakes.  You see a young girl maybe making poor choices and think one of two or more) things.  One, you want to beat some sense into her so that she has the "A ha" moment a little quicker than we may have. Or two, we hate being reminded of that time in our lives and just chastise her to make ourselves feel better.  And three, maybe I should go to bed?  Anyways, she seems to wear her heart on her sleeve and does the thinking aloud/stream of consciousness thing quite often.  In the spirit of Christmas, I hope she figures it out and finds her happiness.


----------



## meangirl

LordStanley said:


> yes I do, and I care about you too


 


Come on now.  Really.  Admit that it's funny how some people get all worked up over someone elses life/drama/etc.  I couldn't care less who cheats on who or anything else in a persons private life.  If I like them, I like them. Period.


----------



## meangirl

Nickel said:


> Epiphany: Maybe the reason Nitwhit gets ragged on so often is that she is the epitome of our past mistakes. You see a young girl maybe making poor choices and think one of two or more) things. One, you want to beat some sense into her so that she has the "A ha" moment a little quicker than we may have. Or two, we hate being reminded of that time in our lives and just chastise her to make ourselves feel better. And three, maybe I should go to bed? Anyways, she seems to wear her heart on her sleeve and does the thinking aloud/stream of consciousness thing quite often. In the spirit of Christmas, I hope she figures it out and finds her happiness.


 
Awesome insight Nickel!


----------



## Pandora

meangirl said:


> Do you *really *care? I mean, it bothers you that much that she cheated on her husband?  Wow.  Odd that.



I am reading a book by David Lieberman, Ph. D, that mentions when somebody feels extremely passionate about an issue, they are hiding something in themselves, a secret, anger, aggression, or a grudge.  hummmm 

And could somebody tell me what _SAHM_ means? 

I :heart: Nic!


----------



## meangirl

Pandora said:


> I am reading a book by David Lieberman, Ph. D, that mentions when somebody feels extremely passionate about an issue, they are hiding something in themselves, a secret, anger, aggression, or a grudge. hummmm
> 
> And could somebody tell me what _SAHM_ means?
> 
> I :heart: Nic!


 
That makes sense.  I'll have to get that book. 

SAHM means Stay At Home Mom.  That's why the disclaimer from me.


----------



## LordStanley

Kain99 said:


> Maybe she cannot afford counseling......... Maybe we are all she has. I'm gonna be honest,  I think we aere better than counseling!



She can.  the Navy provides free counseling.  Hell you could go see the base chaplain....  

If she comes on her looking for advice, she better get used to getting positive and negitive.  

She wants everyone to feel sorry for her.  Im sorry I have no sympathy for her.  she slept in her bed, now she must make it.  

We all know its a growing process, but its time for her to grow up and be an adult.


----------



## Pandora

meangirl said:


> That makes sense.  I'll have to get that book.
> 
> SAHM means Stay At Home Mom.  That's why the disclaimer from me.



I am glad ya told me because I was rubbing my 2 brain cells together and not coming up with anything.


----------



## LordStanley

Im going to do something manly right now cause all this soap opera crap is wearing me thin

Ive given all the advice and criticism I will on this subject.


----------



## tomchamp

Pandora said:


> Are you stalking me?
> 
> I feel stalked.  :creepy:


Why?


----------



## lushlips44

Merry Christmas forumites!!!


----------



## meangirl

lushlips44 said:


> Merry Christmas forumites!!!


 
Merry Christmas to you too!


----------



## tomchamp

meangirl said:


> Merry Christmas to you too!



You Too T Ball.


----------



## meangirl

tomchamp said:


> You Too T Ball.


 
Don't you mean C-ball?


----------



## tomchamp

meangirl said:


> Don't you mean C-ball?



I mean what ever T saw's...she rules the world!


----------



## missperky

There went my other eye...


----------



## Agee

LordStanley said:


> Im going to do something manly right now cause all this soap opera crap is wearing me thin
> 
> Ive given all the advice and criticism I will on this subject.


 
That's exactly why, you stay away from threads like these!


----------



## tomchamp

meangirl said:


> Don't you mean C-ball?



I get It now T...


----------



## Giddy up!

nitwhit3286 said:


> Guys are afraid to step up to the plate and actually deal with the situation at hand. I guess its because they let things roll off their shoulders when maybe then shouldn't.  Especially when they are the ones who are wrong and don't admit it...leaving the female to think that she is the guilty party. what say you??



Did you have a bad date tonight hun?


----------



## nitwhit3286

so i have read the last few pages between kain's meangirl's and nickel's posts.  My best friend knows the situation, but I would feel bad dragging her down all the time with my problems. She loves to give advice, but sometimes she only scratches the surface.  i love her to death and she loves me, but when I first explained the situation to her I did feel ashamed.  My parents have heard some things that i have told them. I don't know if they realize the full extent of it, but if they did know...they may completely dison me.  I really don't have anyone to talk to about these issues honestly.  Haven't had the car for over a week, so seeking out a counselor at this time would be rather difficult.  I hate to spread drama, (especially mine) around because yes I do feel guilty about it. I understand that when I make mistakes I have to be an adult and deal with them, but I have a hard time dealing with that.  I mot assuredly know that when I come on here and post something personal (you all know I have never had a problem doing that) I expect to get blasted from all sides. They are all good opinions, because there are so many different ones and I take all of them into consideration. If i didn't want opinions, then why would i post?  i know there are some very good people on here, and some that may be not so much. Much like me, maybe they need help too and are afraid to post openly.  All I know is that I do need some guidance, a different direction for my life, to make it not only better for myself but for my child as well.  I didn't mean to drag a specific person's name into it. It was foolish and immature. I was angry and I wanted to find a way to make myself feel better. i am also going to have to deal with the consequence of that.  I hope you all understand where I am coming from, I know some certainly do.


----------



## Ehesef

nitwhit3286 said:


> so i have read the last few pages between kain's meangirl's and nickel's posts.  My best friend knows the situation, but I would feel bad dragging her down all the time with my problems. She loves to give advice, but sometimes she only scratches the surface.  i love her to death and she loves me, but when I first explained the situation to her I did feel ashamed.  My parents have heard some things that i have told them. I don't know if they realize the full extent of it, but if they did know...they may completely dison me.  I really don't have anyone to talk to about these issues honestly.  Haven't had the car for over a week, so seeking out a counselor at this time would be rather difficult.  I hate to spread drama, (especially mine) around because yes I do feel guilty about it. I understand that when I make mistakes I have to be an adult and deal with them, but I have a hard time dealing with that.  I mot assuredly know that when I come on here and post something personal (you all know I have never had a problem doing that) I expect to get blasted from all sides. They are all good opinions, because there are so many different ones and I take all of them into consideration. If i didn't want opinions, then why would i post?  i know there are some very good people on here, and some that may be not so much. Much like me, maybe they need help too and are afraid to post openly.  All I know is that I do need some guidance, a different direction for my life, to make it not only better for myself but for my child as well.  I didn't mean to drag a specific person's name into it. It was foolish and immature. I was angry and I wanted to find a way to make myself feel better. i am also going to have to deal with the consequence of that.  I hope you all understand where I am coming from, I know some certainly do.



You've got it now, your first adult post. I'm proud of you.

Take ownership of your life and your actions. If you feel shame it's because you did wrong. Learn from that feeling and don't repeat the action. If you want to stay with your husband, make an effort. Relationships aren't easy. If you don't want to stay with him, take the necessary steps and don't keep dragging him along, giving him hope.


----------



## USWWarrior

Ehesef said:


> You've got it now, your first adult post. I'm proud of you.
> 
> Take ownership of your life and your actions. If you feel shame it's because you did wrong. Learn from that feeling and don't repeat the action. If you want to stay with your husband, make an effort. Relationships aren't easy. If you don't want to stay with him, take the necessary steps and don't keep dragging him along, giving him hope.


----------



## Pete

nitwhit3286 said:


> so i have read the last few pages between kain's meangirl's and nickel's posts.  My best friend knows the situation, but I would feel bad dragging her down all the time with my problems. She loves to give advice, but sometimes she only scratches the surface.  i love her to death and she loves me, but when I first explained the situation to her I did feel ashamed.  My parents have heard some things that i have told them. I don't know if they realize the full extent of it, but if they did know...they may completely dison me.  I really don't have anyone to talk to about these issues honestly.  Haven't had the car for over a week, so seeking out a counselor at this time would be rather difficult.  I hate to spread drama, (especially mine) around because yes I do feel guilty about it. I understand that when I make mistakes I have to be an adult and deal with them, but I have a hard time dealing with that.  I mot assuredly know that when I come on here and post something personal (you all know I have never had a problem doing that) I expect to get blasted from all sides. They are all good opinions, because there are so many different ones and I take all of them into consideration. If i didn't want opinions, then why would i post?  i know there are some very good people on here, and some that may be not so much. Much like me, maybe they need help too and are afraid to post openly.  All I know is that I do need some guidance, a different direction for my life, to make it not only better for myself but for my child as well.  I didn't mean to drag a specific person's name into it. It was foolish and immature. I was angry and I wanted to find a way to make myself feel better. i am also going to have to deal with the consequence of that.  I hope you all understand where I am coming from, I know some certainly do.


You didn't use the term "meat hammer" when you talked to your parents did you?


----------



## nitwhit3286

Pete said:


> You didn't use the term "meat hammer" when you talked to your parents did you?



i don't know where the term meat hammer came from...sorry to hurt your feelings on this but I would never use such a term to describe a penis.


----------



## kwillia

Look Nit... it's not just the youngins who can't figure it out...

DEAR ABBY: I was the other woman for seven years, involved with a man I thought was perfect. His wife knew about me. It was never an issue until he fell in love with me. After that, things changed. He began making promises and told me as soon as his wife got herself together and found a job and a place to live, he'd divorce her and be with me forever. 

Two years became three, three became five. Finally I realized he'd never do what he promised, so I ended it. The problem is, he's my boss. He was my best friend, and I still had some hope. We see each other every day because of work, although I am considered an independent contractor.

A year after I called it quits he finally filed for divorce. A few months later he met this new woman. He says he loves her, but I still hurt. Every day is another day of holding back my tears, another day to hide my pain.

Today I met a woman who is a member of a group I belong to. She mentioned she knows a man who would be "perfect" for me. She said they had dated a few times over the years. Abby, the number she gave me was his. While we were together he was seeing this other woman! I am devastated.

I am still in love with him. How can I make myself forget him when we still work together? Please advise. -- WEEPING IN CHICO, CALIF.

DEAR WEEPING: Forget him? People only learn from the mistakes they are willing to remember. Dry your tears and get out of that office NOW. As an "independent contractor" it's time to declare your independence. Finding a job with better benefits should be a breeze, considering that all you have to show for this one is heartache.


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## Pandora

kwillia said:


> Look Nit... it's not just the youngins who can't figure it out...
> 
> DEAR ABBY: I was the other woman for seven years, involved with a man I thought was perfect. His wife knew about me. It was never an issue until he fell in love with me. After that, things changed. He began making promises and told me as soon as his wife got herself together and found a job and a place to live, he'd divorce her and be with me forever.
> 
> Two years became three, three became five. Finally I realized he'd never do what he promised, so I ended it. The problem is, he's my boss. He was my best friend, and I still had some hope. We see each other every day because of work, although I am considered an independent contractor.
> 
> A year after I called it quits he finally filed for divorce. A few months later he met this new woman. He says he loves her, but I still hurt. Every day is another day of holding back my tears, another day to hide my pain.
> 
> Today I met a woman who is a member of a group I belong to. She mentioned she knows a man who would be "perfect" for me. She said they had dated a few times over the years. Abby, the number she gave me was his. While we were together he was seeing this other woman! I am devastated.
> 
> I am still in love with him. How can I make myself forget him when we still work together? Please advise. -- WEEPING IN CHICO, CALIF.
> 
> DEAR WEEPING: Forget him? People only learn from the mistakes they are willing to remember. Dry your tears and get out of that office NOW. As an "independent contractor" it's time to declare your independence. Finding a job with better benefits should be a breeze, considering that all you have to show for this one is heartache.





This does bring up a very good issue.  Cut all contact! *ALL* contact, no phone, computer, person to person or friends in common contact.  Don't let others tell you otherwise. You cannot be friends with that person.  You will strangle and smother in the emotional entanglement.  

If you are serious about getting yourself together, you have to do that much.  It is extremely important.


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## Pete

nitwhit3286 said:


> i don't know where the term meat hammer came from...sorry to hurt your feelings on this but I would never use such a term to describe a penis.



http://forums.somd.com/2505448-post134.html


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## jazz lady

Pete said:


> http://forums.somd.com/2505448-post134.html



Busted!


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## nitwhit3286

Pete said:


> http://forums.somd.com/2505448-post134.html



OWNED! ok you got me you got me..


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## nitwhit3286

kwillia said:


> Look Nit... it's not just the youngins who can't figure it out...
> 
> DEAR ABBY: I was the other woman for seven years, involved with a man I thought was perfect. His wife knew about me. It was never an issue until he fell in love with me. After that, things changed. He began making promises and told me as soon as his wife got herself together and found a job and a place to live, he'd divorce her and be with me forever.
> 
> Two years became three, three became five. Finally I realized he'd never do what he promised, so I ended it. The problem is, he's my boss. He was my best friend, and I still had some hope. We see each other every day because of work, although I am considered an independent contractor.
> 
> A year after I called it quits he finally filed for divorce. A few months later he met this new woman. He says he loves her, but I still hurt. Every day is another day of holding back my tears, another day to hide my pain.
> 
> Today I met a woman who is a member of a group I belong to. She mentioned she knows a man who would be "perfect" for me. She said they had dated a few times over the years. Abby, the number she gave me was his. While we were together he was seeing this other woman! I am devastated.
> 
> I am still in love with him. How can I make myself forget him when we still work together? Please advise. -- WEEPING IN CHICO, CALIF.
> 
> DEAR WEEPING: Forget him? People only learn from the mistakes they are willing to remember. Dry your tears and get out of that office NOW. As an "independent contractor" it's time to declare your independence. Finding a job with better benefits should be a breeze, considering that all you have to show for this one is heartache.



god knows, I feel sorry for that woman... da da damn..


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## ServiceGuy

Pete said:


> http://forums.somd.com/2505448-post134.html



maybe I should spend an hour reading that thread also?


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## missperky

ServiceGuy said:


> maybe I should spend an hour reading that thread also?




I wouldn't do it..


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## jazz lady

ServiceGuy said:


> maybe I should spend an hour reading that thread also?



How many brain cells are you willing to kill?


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## ServiceGuy

jazz lady said:


> How many brain cells are you willing to kill?



hey nobody tried to warn me about this thread and I lived though, not sure for how much longer but.....


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## Nickel

ServiceGuy said:


> hey nobody tried to warn me about this thread and I lived though, not sure for how much longer but.....


You need to be warned about a thread titled "Men and Confrontation"?


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## jazz lady

ServiceGuy said:


> hey nobody tried to warn me about this thread and I lived though, not sure for how much longer but.....



Well, just have a  or two and finish the rest off.


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## ServiceGuy

Thanks ladies


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## mkd20012001

Pandora said:


> This does bring up a very good issue.  Cut all contact! *ALL* contact, no phone, computer, person to person or friends in common contact.  Don't let others tell you otherwise. You cannot be friends with that person.  You will strangle and smother in the emotional entanglement.
> 
> If you are serious about getting yourself together, you have to do that much.  It is extremely important.



Dear nitwhit,

Please listen to Pandora!  NO CONTACT!  That is all.

Love ya girl,

mkd


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## onebdzee

My head hurts and I need another beer


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## Plan B

jazz lady said:


> Busted!



Just like all mankind.
Hell hath no fury like a woman born...


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## nitwhit3286

mkd20012001 said:


> Dear nitwhit,
> 
> Please listen to Pandora!  NO CONTACT!  That is all.
> 
> Love ya girl,
> 
> mkd





Damn straight...no more nonsense.. you know whats up..love ya mkd!


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## ylexot

nitwhit3286 said:


> unfortunately you pinned the nail on the head with that one.



Pinned the nail on the head...sounds like something from the Dilbert newsletter where people send in ways that people have f'd up common phrases.

It's "pinned the tail on the donkey" or "hit the nail on the head".


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## nitwhit3286

ylexot said:


> Pinned the nail on the head...sounds like something from the Dilbert newsletter where people send in ways that people have f'd up common phrases.
> 
> It's "pinned the tail on the donkey" or "hit the nail on the head".



you better hush your mouth talking that nonsense.


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