# Wait! What???



## Kyle




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## Gilligan

Kyle said:


> View attachment 159127




Erm...I don't get it.


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## Sneakers

Well, I'm just glad it's not just the step-sibs that are having all the fun....


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## Kyle




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## Miker/t




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## Sneakers




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## Kyle




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## wharf rat




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## RoseRed




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## NextJen




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## Kyle

It sounds better singing all the wrong words!


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## RoseRed

Kyle said:


> It sounds better singing all the wrong words!


As a kid, I remember this song coming on the radio in the car with my Mom and she was like, WHAT WAS THAT!?! and turned off the radio.


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## Kyle




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## Kyle




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## wharf rat




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## Kyle




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## Kyle




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## Kyle




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## GopherM




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## Kyle




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## Kyle




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## GopherM




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## GopherM




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## musiclady

GopherM said:


> View attachment 160986



Shouldn't this fall under yard sale rules?  Just selling his used stuff that he didn't need anymore.


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## Kyle




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## GopherM




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## GopherM




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## GopherM




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## GopherM




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## DoWhat

GopherM said:


> View attachment 161161


Ouch.
No pot holes. please.


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## GopherM




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## GopherM




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## GopherM




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## Kyle




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## Kyle




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## Kyle




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## Kyle




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## Kyle




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## GopherM




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## UglyBear

GopherM said:


> View attachment 162468


I would totally do it!!!


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## Kyle




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## GopherM




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## Kyle




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## Miker/t




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## Kyle

Miker/t said:


> View attachment 162769


It's so Democrats can get an OFFICIAL death certificate to register to vote.


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## RoseRed




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## Kyle




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## Merlin99

Did I ever tell you about the time I got pulled over by God? I was driving through New Mexico at about 90 mph in a Volkswagen thing when I heard “pull over at the next intersection”, there’s not another car in sight. I came over a rise and saw a cop at the intersection with his lights on waiting for me so I pulled over. When I got out I saw above me a cop in an ultralight with a radar gun.


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## Gilligan

Kyle said:


>


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## Sneakers

Those signs are all over VA.  My dad was told by the local LEO that they simply don't have a budget to actually enforce it.


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## Gilligan

Sneakers said:


> Those signs are all over VA.  My dad was told by the local LEO that they simply don't have a budget to actually enforce it.


armed helicopters are expensive.


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## Monello

I had knuckleheaded friends that did this scam.  They'd park far away in the shopping center but near a few cars.  When the shoppers returned they'd fake fight and beat 1 of the guys up.  Stuff him in the trunk and threaten to kill him.  This is in earshot of 2 older ladies.  Then they'd proceed to follow the car that pulled out.  Luckily this was before people carried firearms.  I would not try that prank today.


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## Monello

Kyle said:


>


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## glhs837

Sneakers said:


> Those signs are all over VA.  My dad was told by the local LEO that they simply don't have a budget to actually enforce it.



Locals dont, but the VSP has a few Cessnas.


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## gemma_rae

Gilligan said:


> armed helicopters are expensive.


That's nothin'. Wait until you see the price of the ones with legs.


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## Gilligan

gemma_rae said:


> That's nothin'. Wait until you see the price of the ones with legs.


:loadgroan:


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## gemma_rae

Gilligan said:


> :loadgroan:


I'm not sure what a load groan is but it sounds like there's a lot of abdominal pain involved. No thank you.


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## Kyle




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## Kyle




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## Kyle




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## GopherM




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## Gilligan




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## Merlin99

Please for the love of god don’t roll over.


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## Kyle

Note:  Never go camping and drinking on the Island.


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## Gilligan

Kyle said:


> Note:  Never go camping and drinking on the Island.


That reminds me of a story. For many years we'd throw a big pig roast party with live bands, open bar, etc. It would start Friday afternoon and run through Monday. Lots of folks planned ahead and camped out in tents. Lots of folks didn't plan at all and passed out...where ever they fell.

One year, after dark, I was walking past one of the parking areas along the border of my property when I heard the distinct sounds of passion underway. I snuck a peek in direction of the sounds and recoiled in shock and horror....two sets of toes up and two down, but that was not what got my real attention. The nice cushy bushy comfy place where they'd decided to enjoy each other....a solid mess of very vigorously growing poison ivy.

Never heard a peep from anyone later on, so I never got "the rest of the story".....but I guarantee there was some misery after that encounter.

.


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## Kyle




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## Kyle




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## Kyle




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## Kyle




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## Grumpy

Kyle said:


> View attachment 164033


Read an article yesterday about the repair guy that had Hunter's laptop. To try to recover Hunter's data on 1 of the laptops that Hunter gave him, he needed Hunter's password...Hunter gave it to him..it was 'AnalF**k69'


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## UglyBear

Grumpy said:


> Read an article yesterday about the repair guy that had Hunter's laptop. To try to recover Hunter's data on 1 of the laptops that Hunter gave him, he needed Hunter's password...Hunter gave it to him..it was 'AnalF**k69'


Wait… the first part makes sense.  The numbers make sense.  But together?  How would that even work?  Need to consult some instructional videos.


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## limblips

UglyBear said:


> Wait… the first part makes sense.  The numbers make sense.  But together?  How would that even work?  Need to consult some instructional videos.


Not all at once but not in that order either!


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## Tech

UglyBear said:


> Wait… the first part makes sense.  The numbers make sense.  But together?  How would that even work?  Need to consult some instructional videos.


Doesn't matter that you don't understand but Joe 100% does.


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## GopherM




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## Kyle




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## DoWhat

Kyle said:


> View attachment 164145


It took me a minute.


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## Grumpy




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## Kyle




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## Kyle




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## Tech

Don't have a pickup.....


Balls for Croc - 16 Diffrent Colors - Made In USA Amazon product


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## GopherM




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## Kyle




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## Gilligan




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## Kyle

Gilligan said:


> View attachment 164602


And I’m guessing, works at the triple D Ranch.


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## Gilligan

Kyle said:


> And I’m guessing, works at the triple D Ranch.


You know more about that kinda stuff....


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## GopherM




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## GopherM




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## Merlin99

GopherM said:


> View attachment 164623


I had to look up what Grindr was, I wish I could go back 5 minutes now.


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## GopherM




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## Kyle

GopherM said:


> View attachment 164763


I thought this was about one of those rejuvenation surgeries.


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## Sneakers

Isn't she friends with Paltrow?


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## stgislander

Sneakers said:


> Isn't she friends with Paltrow?


Have you seen the new Grubhub commercial where they deliver other stuff besides food?  Grubhub delivers Gwyneth one of her vagina scented candles.  Since Grubhub delivered it she thinks it must be food so she takes a bite out of it.  She makes the "Hmmmm... not bad" face.


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## Sneakers

stgislander said:


> Have you seen the new Grubhub commercial where they deliver other stuff besides food?  Grubhub delivers Gwyneth one of her vagina scented candles.  Since Grubhub delivered it she thinks it must be food so she takes a bite out of it.  She makes the "Hmmmm... not bad" face.


Yup.  In very poor taste (pun intended).


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## GopherM

stgislander said:


> Have you seen the new Grubhub commercial where they deliver other stuff besides food?  Grubhub delivers Gwyneth one of her vagina scented candles.  Since Grubhub delivered it she thinks it must be food so she takes a bite out of it.  She makes the "Hmmmm... not bad" face.


Just like fresh tuna!


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## GopherM




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## stgislander

GopherM said:


> View attachment 164788


Dayummmmm.


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## GopherM




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## DaSDGuy

There, their, they're, It's not that difficult.


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## stgislander

English... gotta love it.


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## Sneakers

I have trouble with that, two.


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## rio

Sneakers said:


> I have trouble with that, two.


Me to.


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## Kyle




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## GopherM




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## GopherM




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## Kyle




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## GopherM




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## Clem72

GopherM said:


> View attachment 165182



For peeps that need a merkin for their cloaca


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## GopherM




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## Kyle




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## GopherM

So I am at Walmart scanning and bagging my almost $300 worth of groceries while the employee "monitors" me and then this happened.
Her - why are you double bagging all of your groceries?
Me - excuse me?
Her - you are wasting our bags!
Me - if you don't like the way I'm bagging the groceries, feel free to come on over here and bag them yourself.
Her - that's not my job!
Me - okay, then I will bag my groceries how I please if that's all right with you.
Her - why are you using two bags?!
Me - because the bags are weak and I don't want the handles to break or the bottoms to rip out.
Her - well that's because you are putting too much stuff in the bag. If you took half of that stuff out and put it in a different bag then you wouldn't need to double bag.
*10 seconds of me just staring at her.
Me - so you want me to split these items in half and put half of them in a different bag so that I don't have to double bag.
Her - exactly.
Me - so I would still be using two bags to hold the same number of items.
Her - no because you wouldn't be double bagging.
*me pressing two fingers to my left eye in an attempt to make it stop twitching.
Me - okay so here I have a jug of milk and a bottle of juice double bagged. If I take the milk out and remove the double bagging and just put the milk in the single bag and the juice in that single bag I'm still using two bags for these two items.
Her- no because you are not double bagging them so it's not the same number of bags.
*me looking around at about 10 other customers who at this point are enjoying the show.
Me- is this like that Common Core math stuff I keep hearing about?
Her- never mind you just don't get it.
And with that, she went back to her little Podium so she could continue texting or playing games on her phone or whatever it was she was doing before she decided to come over and critique my bagging skills


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## Kyle

Sadly all to real.

That’s too on point not to share on Facebook.


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## Grumpy

Reminds me of this...


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## Kyle




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## Kyle

Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange.

When the waiter brought our water and cutlery, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.

When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?" "Well, "he explained, "the restaurant’s owners hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped piece of cutlery. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our staff are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. "I’ll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now." I was impressed.

I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter’s zip on his trousers. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"

"Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the rest-room. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the rest-room by 76.39 per cent."

I asked "After you get it out, how do you put it back?"

"Well," he whispered, "I don’t know about the others, but I use the spoon."


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## GregV814

Here's a true spoon story. Probably most of you have never heard it.

About a year or two ago, I attended a viewing of a woman who died. It was a very sad, tearful event because she was a well-loved woman that lived in Calvert her whole life.
I couldn't help but notice that clutched in her hands was a spoon.

I asked her husband the reason for that. He smiled and told me that based on long forgotten lore, Pastors, Reverends, Preachers spoke of life as "dinner" . The afterlife was to be in God's presence, like dessert! So, life is dinner, Heaven is better things to come, "dessert". Well, from that, it was common to be laid to rest with a spoon, ready for dessert.


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## GopherM

GregV814 said:


> Here's a true spoon story. Probably most of you have never heard it.
> 
> About a year or two ago, I attended a viewing of a woman who died. It was a very sad, tearful event because she was a well-loved woman that lived in Calvert her whole life.
> I couldn't help but notice that clutched in her hands was a spoon.
> 
> I asked her husband the reason for that. He smiled and told me that based on long forgotten lore, Pastors, Reverends, Preachers spoke of life as "dinner" . The afterlife was to be in God's presence, like dessert! So, life is dinner, Heaven is better things to come, "dessert". Well, from that, it was common to be laid to rest with a spoon, ready for dessert.


My Dad was a lifelong mechanic building dirt track cars, repairing cars, lawnmowers, and anything else he could get a tool on.  When he died we had him laid to rest in his coffin with a wrench in his hands.  He was ready to get back to work when he made is final trip.


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## GopherM




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## Kyle




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## RoseRed




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## Grumpy




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## Kyle




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## GopherM




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## Sneakers

GopherM said:


> View attachment 165975


Huh.  You'd think this would violate EPA rules on discharge of potentially contaminated bilge water.


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## Kyle

Sneakers said:


> Huh.  You'd think this would violate EPA rules on discharge of potentially contaminated bilge water.


Maybe they’re worried about distracted driving.


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## Kyle




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## Sneakers

Kyle said:


> View attachment 166170




That reminds me... I was stopped at the light at Rt4/Rt235, and one of the beggars was walking up the median holding something, kind of hiding it.  Then I saw it..... a frikkin' HUGE roll of bills.  He was counting it and when he got caught he stuffed it in his pocket.  Had to be 4" across.  Even if it was just singles, that's a bunch of money.

Then he has the nerve to knock on my window looking for more.  I just looked at him like, you've got to be kidding, right?


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## Kyle

Sneakers said:


> That reminds me... I was stopped at the light at Rt4/Rt235, and one of the beggars was walking up the median holding something, kind of hiding it.  Then I saw it..... a frikkin' HUGE roll of bills.  He was counting it and when he got caught he stuffed it in his pocket.  Had to be 4" across.  Even if it was just singles, that's a bunch of money.
> 
> Then he has the nerve to knock on my window looking for more.  I just looked at him like, you've got to be kidding, right?


It would’ve been poetic if he’d have gotten robbed.


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## GopherM




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## L'Town.girl

Sneakers said:


> That reminds me... I was stopped at the light at Rt4/Rt235, and one of the beggars was walking up the median holding something, kind of hiding it.  Then I saw it..... a frikkin' HUGE roll of bills.  He was counting it and when he got caught he stuffed it in his pocket.  Had to be 4" across.  Even if it was just singles, that's a bunch of money.
> 
> Then he has the nerve to knock on my window looking for more.  I just looked at him like, you've got to be kidding, right?


I saw same colored fella in Giant checking out. Had a HUGE wad of money. Biggest I've ever seen. If you're down wit OPP, you'd refer to this as a Grip. Anyway. As long as he and the fingerless old fella keep getting handouts, they'll keep it up. Seems like a lot of work not to work.


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## Kyle




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## Kyle




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## Kyle

Thought for the Day.

If only Africa had more mosquito nets then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of aids


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## RoseRed




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## stgislander

RoseRed said:


> View attachment 166563


That's just wrong.


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## Kyle




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## Tech




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## Miker/t




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## Kyle




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## Kyle




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## Kyle




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## GopherM




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## Grumpy




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## DoWhat

Grumpy said:


> View attachment 167699


Sad, but I can see that happening.


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## Sneakers

what have we become....


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## RoseRed

Sneakers said:


> what have we become....


A complete chitshow.


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## Bonehead

That's just it is NOT we but a small wayward segment of the population. They were always here but hid their perversions effectively


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## Kyle




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## Kyle




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## GopherM

Wife texted "found out you've got another woman, cheating bastard! taken my things and I'm going back to my sisters house, "

He texted back,"see you when you get here."


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## Kyle




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## Kyle




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## Kyle




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## PrchJrkr

Kyle said:


> View attachment 168044


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