# "5 Reasons Why Marriage Doesn't Work Anymore"



## JeJeTe

This has been making it's rounds on FB.  It's an eye opening read.....

http://www.freep.com/story/life/advice/2015/04/07/marriage-doesnt-work/25405611/


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## lucky_bee

JeJeTe said:


> This has been making it's rounds on FB.  It's an eye opening read.....
> 
> http://www.freep.com/story/life/advice/2015/04/07/marriage-doesnt-work/25405611/



 so true. dating with this generation is a continuous nightmare.


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## Larry Gude

Dumb article. Marriage works for anyone for whom staying together and working out differences, sticking with it, is more important than not. For whatever reasons or details it's just that simple. 

As for money, I guess this guy never heard of the Great Depression and thinks cell phones have, somehow, changed human nature. Leading off with sex as being THE most important thing is pretty immature. Sex is the biological reason for our attraction but it isn't the be all end all of marriage. Money problems can bind people as well as tear apart. Again, very simple; sticking it out is more important and more rewarding than not and that's it. Then, now, forever. 

Dude is kinda whiny. Staying together is tough yet, a lot of people find that to be the rewarding part; its value comes from the price paid over time.


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## Bobwhite

Larry Gude said:


> Dumb article. Marriage works for anyone for whom staying together and working out differences, sticking with it, is more important than not. For whatever reasons or details it's just that simple.
> 
> As for money, I guess this guy never heard of the Great Depression and thinks cell phones have, somehow, changed human nature. Leading off with sex as being THE most important thing is pretty immature. Sex is the biological reason for our attraction but it isn't the be all end all of marriage. Money problems can bind people as well as tear apart. Again, very simple; sticking it out is more important and more rewarding than not and that's it. Then, now, forever.
> 
> Dude is kinda whiny. Staying together is tough yet, a lot of people find that to be the rewarding part; its value comes from the price paid over time.



I agree with you, Larry.  However, if you want to stay and try to make the marriage work and the other person doesn't, the marriage is probably going to fall apart.  I'd have to research this, but I believe, way back when, the law used to make it more difficult to get a divorce, so there may have been more motivation to stay together.


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## Larry Gude

Bobwhite said:


> I agree with you, Larry.  However, if you want to stay and try to make the marriage work and the other person doesn't, the marriage is probably going to fall apart.  I'd have to research this, but I believe, way back when, the law used to make it more difficult to get a divorce, so there may have been more motivation to stay together.



Agreed.  I certainly meant to mean this as a two way street.


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## Toxick

*The ONE reason marriage won't work any more*


The last several generations have bred an entire society filled with narcissistic, self-aggrandizing, sanctimonious sons of bitches who are only obsessed with fulfilling the desires of their baser instincts. They are completely bereft of any inclination or capacity to do anything but travel the path of least resistance, and is incapable - and quite possibly unaware of the concept - of sacrifice.  And they are absolutely convinced of their own superiority regardless of a total lack of any evidence to support that perception - and therefore they totally lack the desire to change, and the descent of this species into debauchery and chaos will continue.



Marriage is an institution upon which the success and propagation depends upon putting others ahead of yourself. As such, it cannot be sustained in the present environment.

And that, right there, is the entire core of it. Plain and simple.






I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Humanity is doomed.


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## Larry Gude

Toxick said:


> *The ONE reason marriage won't work any more*
> 
> 
> The last several generations have bred an entire society filled with narcissistic, self-aggrandizing, sanctimonious sons of bitches who are only obsessed with fulfilling the desires of their baser instincts. They are completely bereft of any inclination or capacity to do anything but travel the path of least resistance, and is incapable - and quite possibly unaware of the concept - of sacrifice.  And they are absolutely convinced of their own superiority regardless of a total lack of any evidence to support that perception - and therefore they totally lack the desire to change, and the descent of this species into debauchery and chaos will continue.
> 
> 
> 
> Marriage is an institution upon which the success and propagation depends upon putting others ahead of yourself. As such, it cannot be sustained in the present environment.
> 
> And that, right there, is the entire core of it. Plain and simple.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Humanity is doomed.



Ok, but, other than that, how are things going?


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## Toxick

Larry Gude said:


> Ok, but, other than that, how are things going?



Meh.





Maybe that was harsh. I am feeling extra cynical and cantankerous today.


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## GURPS

My Marriage has been working for 10 yrs now, but then I'll be 50 this yr.


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## GURPS

Larry Gude said:


> Dude is kinda whiny.



a 29 yr old pansy
 .... WTF does he know



> Back when I met my ex-wife in 2004, things were just so different. Social media had yet to explode. I had this desire to ask her about her day simply because I didn't know.
> Texting was just starting to make its way into mainstream society, so if I wanted to speak to her, I had to call her.
> If I wanted to see her, I had to drive to her house and knock on her door. Everything required an action on my part, or hers.




OMG I guess he never heard of Yahoo Messenger 

- [ Media did not become Social just because Zuckerberg invented Facebook or Jack Dorsey, Evan Williams, Biz Stone and Noah Glass invented Twitter - which rides onto of pre-exsisting SMS which was thought up in 1984 ... ]

... or other Chat Programs 

I used a Java Scripted Web Site in 1998 [the chat text flowed automatically from bottom to top] to court a woman from England , as well as ICQ where someone could record a 15 sec. VM and send it over dialup ... oh the horrors of pre-social media dating 

I met my wife through Yahoo Personals ... our 1st communication was via email .. our 1st date I hung out at her 2nd JOB on a Sat night and we talked in between beer orders


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## GURPS

Toxick said:


> *The ONE reason marriage won't work any more*
> 
> *The last several generations have bred an entire society filled with narcissistic, self-aggrandizing, sanctimonious sons of bitches who are only obsessed with fulfilling the desires of their baser instincts. They are completely bereft of any inclination or capacity to do anything but travel the path of least resistance, and is incapable - and quite possibly unaware of the concept - of sacrifice.  And they are absolutely convinced of their own superiority regardless of a total lack of any evidence to support that perception - and therefore they totally lack the desire to change, and the descent of this species into debauchery and chaos will continue.*
> 
> Marriage is an institution upon which the success and propagation depends upon putting others ahead of yourself. As such, it cannot be sustained in the present environment.
> And that, right there, is the entire core of it. Plain and simple.
> 
> I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Humanity is doomed.






Post of the Day / Week / Month ......


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## lucky_bee

I you guys are missing the point. You can't compare your marriages (you as in you old guys ) to this generation. Tox nailed it. While the writer most definitely sounds a little pansy-ish, his point is that this generation cannot even comprehend basic human contact and conversation, how the hell will we handle a marriage? Actually the fact that he's a little whiny only drives the point a little further home. My generation IS a bunch of pansy-ass cry babies. 

Don't tell me you know "social media dating" bc of yahoo messenger. no. You're not from this generation. You learned how to socialize before cell phones and social media and THEN were introduced after you'd already grasped the concept of how to start a conversation with a pretty girl at the bar. (well, we're still working on Larry  ...and GURPS...GURPS is GURPS, yaaknow.) 

Try dating a bunch of selfish bratty man-babies or little ####-head divas who grew up with an iPhone in their hands since their PRE-TEENS....before they mastered basic teen to adult human socializing. Of course marriage is "tough" we all technically know that. But this generation is a bunch of self-absorbed, need results right now, snap their fingers in your face, give me give me. If we get married by tomorrow, then we start having issues bc of lack of communication, the solution is to divorce and move on by next Tuesday. No one wants to actually put in that work that's required to keep any relationships afloat bc we're already bored. On to the next.

Ooh he's cute. swipe right.


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## Larry Gude

lucky_bee said:


> I you guys are missing the point. You can't compare your marriages (you as in you old guys ) to this generation. Tox nailed it. While the writer most definitely sounds a little pansy-ish, his point is that this generation cannot even comprehend basic human contact and conversation, how the hell will we handle a marriage? Actually the fact that he's a little whiny only drives the point a little further home. My generation IS a bunch of pansy-ass cry babies.
> 
> Don't tell me you know "social media dating" bc of yahoo messenger. no. You're not from this generation. You learned how to socialize before cell phones and social media and THEN were introduced after you'd already grasped the concept of how to start a conversation with a pretty girl at the bar. (well, we're still working on Larry  ...and GURPS...GURPS is GURPS, yaaknow.)
> 
> Try dating a bunch of selfish bratty man-babies or little ####-head divas who grew up with an iPhone in their hands since their PRE-TEENS....before they mastered basic teen to adult human socializing. Of course marriage is "tough" we all technically know that. But this generation is a bunch of self-absorbed, need results right now, snap their fingers in your face, give me give me. If we get married by tomorrow, then we start having issues bc of lack of communication, the solution is to divorce and move on by next Tuesday. No one wants to actually put in that work that's required to keep any relationships afloat bc we're already bored. On to the next.
> 
> Ooh he's cute. swipe right.



I don't believe human nature changes much. A LOT of marriage holding together was based on simple survival and logistics. You HAD to stick together. A lot of abused women could attest to that over the years. That it is easier for any number of reasons to give it up today does not mean the desire to get the hell out of dodge was not there 40, 50, 100 years ago.


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## Larry Gude

GURPS said:


> Post of the Day / Week / Month ......



I guarantee you EVERY older generation said that about the one following it since time began. Doing my annual Civil War revisits, virtually those exact words were said by the 50-60 year olds about the 25-35 year olds over 150 years ago.


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## lucky_bee

Larry Gude said:


> I don't believe human nature changes much. A LOT of marriage holding together was based on simple survival and logistics. You HAD to stick together. A lot of abused women could attest to that over the years. That it is easier for any number of reasons to give it up today does not mean the desire to get the hell out of dodge was not there 40, 50, 100 years ago.



I don't doubt that. But today's attitude towards relationships HAS changed BECAUSE it's easy to get out. Sure we could get married tomorrow bc it sounds like fun, but after a year or two I'm bored and talking face to face is awkward so I'm going to go file some divorce papers. I'll find someone else. 

There's no need to have that "partner" to survive. But there's also no need to work on communication and relationships either bc I can survive on my own. The feeling is usually, deep down they'd really like to find that someone for the rest of their life but...ehh. That's a lot of work.


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## JeJeTe

lucky_bee said:


> I you guys are missing the point. You can't compare your marriages (you as in you old guys ) to this generation. Tox nailed it. While the writer most definitely sounds a little pansy-ish, his point is that this generation cannot even comprehend basic human contact and conversation, how the hell will we handle a marriage? Actually the fact that he's a little whiny only drives the point a little further home. My generation IS a bunch of pansy-ass cry babies.
> 
> Don't tell me you know "social media dating" bc of yahoo messenger. no. You're not from this generation. You learned how to socialize before cell phones and social media and THEN were introduced after you'd already grasped the concept of how to start a conversation with a pretty girl at the bar. (well, we're still working on Larry  ...and GURPS...GURPS is GURPS, yaaknow.)
> 
> Try dating a bunch of selfish bratty man-babies or little ####-head divas who grew up with an iPhone in their hands since their PRE-TEENS....before they mastered basic teen to adult human socializing. Of course marriage is "tough" we all technically know that. But this generation is a bunch of self-absorbed, need results right now, snap their fingers in your face, give me give me. If we get married by tomorrow, then we start having issues bc of lack of communication, the solution is to divorce and move on by next Tuesday. No one wants to actually put in that work that's required to keep any relationships afloat bc we're already bored. On to the next.
> 
> Ooh he's cute. swipe right.



I've always said this upcoming generation will have a communication problem.  All communication is done non verbally so how are they going to learn how to communicate face to face? Fights, make up, etc are all done via text, FB, whatever.


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## lucky_bee

JeJeTe said:


> I've always said this upcoming generation will have a communication problem.  All communication is done non verbally so how are they going to learn how to communicate face to face? Fights, make up, etc are all done via text, FB, whatever.



YAAASS. Even guys a few years older than me. They've gotten way too used to using their phones. It's easier. 




FOR ONCE I WANT TO CALL A GUY AN ####### TO HIS FACE!


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## vraiblonde

Toxick said:


> *The ONE reason marriage won't work any more*
> 
> 
> The last several generations have bred an entire society filled with narcissistic, self-aggrandizing, sanctimonious sons of bitches who are only obsessed with fulfilling the desires of their baser instincts. They are completely bereft of any inclination or capacity to do anything but travel the path of least resistance, and is incapable - and quite possibly unaware of the concept - of sacrifice.  And they are absolutely convinced of their own superiority regardless of a total lack of any evidence to support that perception - and therefore they totally lack the desire to change, and the descent of this species into debauchery and chaos will continue.
> 
> 
> 
> Marriage is an institution upon which the success and propagation depends upon putting others ahead of yourself. As such, it cannot be sustained in the present environment.
> 
> And that, right there, is the entire core of it. Plain and simple.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Humanity is doomed.



:


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## vraiblonde

lucky_bee said:


> I you guys are missing the point. You can't compare your marriages (you as in you old guys ) to this generation. Tox nailed it. While the writer most definitely sounds a little pansy-ish, his point is that this generation cannot even comprehend basic human contact and conversation, how the hell will we handle a marriage? Actually the fact that he's a little whiny only drives the point a little further home. My generation IS a bunch of pansy-ass cry babies.
> 
> Don't tell me you know "social media dating" bc of yahoo messenger. no. You're not from this generation. You learned how to socialize before cell phones and social media and THEN were introduced after you'd already grasped the concept of how to start a conversation with a pretty girl at the bar. (well, we're still working on Larry  ...and GURPS...GURPS is GURPS, yaaknow.)
> 
> Try dating a bunch of selfish bratty man-babies or little ####-head divas who grew up with an iPhone in their hands since their PRE-TEENS....before they mastered basic teen to adult human socializing. Of course marriage is "tough" we all technically know that. But this generation is a bunch of self-absorbed, need results right now, snap their fingers in your face, give me give me. If we get married by tomorrow, then we start having issues bc of lack of communication, the solution is to divorce and move on by next Tuesday. No one wants to actually put in that work that's required to keep any relationships afloat bc we're already bored. On to the next.
> 
> Ooh he's cute. swipe right.


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## MMDad

Toxick said:


> The last several generations have bred an entire society filled with narcissistic, self-aggrandizing, sanctimonious sons of bitches who are only obsessed with fulfilling the desires of their baser instincts. They are completely bereft of any inclination or capacity to do anything but travel the path of least resistance, and is incapable - and quite possibly unaware of the concept - of sacrifice.  And they are absolutely convinced of their own superiority regardless of a total lack of any evidence to support that perception - and therefore they totally lack the desire to change, and the descent of this species into debauchery and chaos will continue.



So you've met my ex?


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## BOP

MMDad said:


> So you've met my ex?



I thought he was talking about Obama.


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## kom526

I guess the LW and myself are the outliers. :shrug: We've been together for almost 24 years, married for 19 in June. I still enjoy talking to her, (even after getting our tax bill) spending time with her and raising our kids. It takes effort, or as Tox put it sacrifice for it to work.


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## DoWhat

kom526 said:


> I guess the LW and myself are the outliers. :shrug: We've been together for almost 24 years, married for 19 in June. I still enjoy talking to her, (even after getting our tax bill) spending time with her and raising our kids. It takes effort, or as Tox put it sacrifice for it to work.


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## Larry Gude

This thread starts with a premise, that marriage used to 'work' yet doesn't define what that means other than not getting divorced. It's always interesting to me when something is thrown out there as self evident, common device used to try and force acceptance of a given position without debate or discussion. I think the Latin is 'prima facie', at first impression. However, prima facie also means 'until proven otherwise'. 

Well. Is staying married the thing to do? Is it the right thing in most cases? If so, based on what? This whole thread is dedicated to the premise that it is the last couple generations that are the problem, that they, we, I, have ruined a good thing. Should be pretty easy to prove, yes? So, let us explore. 

This morning I read a piece about '5 things they didn't tell you about retirement' and one of the BIG ones is how awful it is for women to have him around all the time. Divorce rates among retirees, presumably the better generations, are soaring. That was what made me finally decide to straighten this thread out; marriage never 'worked' as defined by simply staying together in most cases. In some, sure. Happy, loving, all of that. In MANY others, people stuck it out because of society and simply accepted the misery that we are sanctifying as sacrifice and putting others before them. Well, that's a load of #### and anyone my age or older, 27, knows damn well how awful it quite often was for women before the women's movement; financially stuck, forced to accept cheating husbands, the Betty Fords who made due via drugs and alcohol. I'm not accepting this romanticism any more. For women, and men, but especially the woman, quite often, it sucked AND there are plenty of stories of how happy kids were for parents who finally broke that bond and went on to enjoy life. It's simple; all too often, kids say two miserable people sticking it out for the sake of the kids when in fact, it was NOT good for the kids either; "Here, daughter, stay with this miserable bastard no matter what'. "here, son, remain faithful and loyal to this woman who can't wait until you keel over so she can be done with you'. 

Now, that is by NO means ALL or even most but it was a LARGE percentage and anyone my age or older, 26, who can stop with the 'good old days'  for a few moments, knows it. 
I know PLENTY of old timers who were miserable. I know some who are happy and always were. And I know a LOT in between. A lawyer friend has the quintessential story about this; he is a good bit older than me, 51, so, he was talking about a couple yet older than him, 'the good old day'. Goes like this; after 50 years of marriage they hated one another so much they wanted to divorce and they wanted it mean. They liquidated all sorts of assets to fight one another and made him, and another lawyer, LOTS of money. Finally, after a two year bloodbath, divorced, in their 70's, they...re married. Now, you can call that true love or you can call that simply being conditioned to the misery and, like 'ol what's his face in the Shawshank Redemption, not knowing what to do out of prison. 

Furthermore, and add your own anecdotes as you see fit, how many older marriages do you see that you consider happy? If your paradigm is 'sticking it out = happy' then, OK, fine. That is your view and you are entitled to it. For me, I know as many miserable ones as happy or even marginally happy. I know several where she can't stand him and can barely tolerate him. I know some where he is content because he gets fed. I know some that exhibit happiness. 

From there, it holds steady; I know ALL sorts in and around my age; truly beaming happy. Tolerate one another, despise one another. Younger ones, I know several couples that are so one the same page it's simply heart warming. Will it hold? I don't know but their commitment to one, sacrifice for, another is obvious. Kids, too. In short, it was always all kinds, it is all kinds and it will be all kinds and it is a load of crap to act like a bunch of old geezers talking about how perfect the world was 50-100 years ago. It never was. Never will be. And human nature doesn't change all that much. 

So, my argument stands; marriage only worked then and now and forever for TWO people for whom sticking it out is the reward, overcoming and I have ALL due respect to couples who make it work, standing ovation.  I get accused of having rose colored glasses quite often, of being an optimist and it's true. However, that is not the case when it comes to marriage. That is one area, if only one, I am a realist and I certainly claim no moral high ground having been married and divorced three times. I do, however, claim experience and being a student of and observer of the institution. 

It is not true as a blanket statement that sticking it out is THE best for people and society. 
It is not true that leaving at the first sign of struggle is best either. 
it is not true that avoiding it all together is best nor is it true that being divorced three times is best. 

Like most human endeavors, the truth lies in between the extremes and, big happy finish, the REAL truth is YOURS and your dearly beloved in each and every special case.


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## MMDad

Larry Gude said:


> I know PLENTY of old timers who were miserable.





Archie Bunker was entertaining because everyone could relate, either through their own marriage or someone they knew.


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## vraiblonde

MMDad said:


> Archie Bunker was entertaining because everyone could relate, either through their own marriage or someone they knew.



Not a good example - Archie was devastated when Edith died.


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## SG_Player1974

Larry Gude said:


> This thread starts with a premise...



This whole post just drips with irony...


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## GURPS

*Marriage Doesn’t Work If You’re A Narcissist*



I’m not usually in the business of offering responses to blog posts written by other people, but, especially after my piece on divorce yesterday, an overwhelming number of readers have demanded that I comment on this.

It’s an article titled “5 Reasons Why Marriage Doesn’t Work Anymore,” authored by a 29-year-old columnist. Naturally, because it has “5 reasons why” and “marriage” in the title, it’s been shared approximately eight gajillion times on Facebook. You’ve probably read it by now even if you didn’t mean to.

It’s all pretty absurd, considering the writer — a sex and relationship advice-giver by trade, apparently — was married for three years and then divorced. This is marriage advice from someone who gave up after 36 months, which is kind of like pilot training from someone who flew one plane, crashed it 12 minutes after takeoff, then gave up and became a plumber instead.


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## lucky_bee

GURPS said:


> *Marriage Doesn’t Work If You’re A Narcissist*
> 
> 
> 
> I’m not usually in the business of offering responses to blog posts written by other people, but, especially after my piece on divorce yesterday, an overwhelming number of readers have demanded that I comment on this.
> 
> It’s an article titled “5 Reasons Why Marriage Doesn’t Work Anymore,” authored by a 29-year-old columnist. Naturally, because it has “5 reasons why” and “marriage” in the title, it’s been shared approximately eight gajillion times on Facebook. You’ve probably read it by now even if you didn’t mean to.
> 
> It’s all pretty absurd, considering the writer — a sex and relationship advice-giver by trade, apparently — was married for three years and then divorced. This is marriage advice from someone who gave up after 36 months, which is kind of like pilot training from someone who flew one plane, crashed it 12 minutes after takeoff, then gave up and became a plumber instead.



so what you're saying is don't take relationship advice from you and Larry, since y'all been divorced before... aka "GAVE UP"  gotcha


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## PeoplesElbow

Back when my other half worked at a pottery barn with some teenage boys she told them its a good thing she is older because if she was a teenager she would have to be a lesbian because you girly emo boys now dont do a thing for me.  She said one of them almost cried.


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## kom526

PeoplesElbow said:


> Back when my other half worked at a pottery barn with some teenage boys she told them its a good thing she is older because if she was a teenager she would have to be a lesbian because you girly emo boys now dont do a thing for me.  She said one of them almost cried.


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## SG_Player1974

lucky_bee said:


> so what you're saying is don't take relationship advice from you and Larry, since y'all been divorced before... aka "GAVE UP"  gotcha



Please see my previous post...


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## Beta

Toxick said:


> *The ONE reason marriage won't work any more*
> 
> 
> The last several generations have bred an entire society filled with narcissistic, self-aggrandizing, sanctimonious sons of bitches who are only obsessed with fulfilling the desires of their baser instincts. They are completely bereft of any inclination or capacity to do anything but travel the path of least resistance, and is incapable - and quite possibly unaware of the concept - of sacrifice.  And they are absolutely convinced of their own superiority regardless of a total lack of any evidence to support that perception - and therefore they totally lack the desire to change, and the descent of this species into debauchery and chaos will continue.


Isn't that what people said about beatniks and hippies?  Things have changed but the general way youth acts as you indicate doesn't seem to have shifted too much over the past 50+ years.



Larry Gude said:


> I guarantee you EVERY older generation said that about the one following it since time began. Doing my annual Civil War revisits, virtually those exact words were said by the 50-60 year olds about the 25-35 year olds over 150 years ago.


That's because all of you old codgers forget that you were just as ####ed up as the generation you're belittling.  The only difference is you had your own way of being a moron that you think is acceptable, while the way the younger generation is doing it is wrong.  I'm sure everyone would criticize the generation before them too.  Hell, I look at the 60's and think that #### is more messed up than anything going on today. Everyone has an opinion.  

BTW, I think the article was written by a nerdy whiny guy that's pissy because his hot wife dumped him because he was too into his phone to bother trying to put the moves on her.  Some of the basic points might make sense but I see a bunch of older people play on facebook plenty.  And tons of older people get divorced too, it's not like this is a new phenomena.  Yet those people grew up pre-smartphone.  Sooo...the arguments are pretty much moot.


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## Pete

lucky_bee said:


> I you guys are missing the point. You can't compare your marriages (you as in you old guys ) to this generation. Tox nailed it. While the writer most definitely sounds a little pansy-ish, his point is that this generation cannot even comprehend basic human contact and conversation, how the hell will we handle a marriage? Actually the fact that he's a little whiny only drives the point a little further home. My generation IS a bunch of pansy-ass cry babies.
> 
> Don't tell me you know "social media dating" bc of yahoo messenger. no. You're not from this generation. You learned how to socialize before cell phones and social media and THEN were introduced after you'd already grasped the concept of how to start a conversation with a pretty girl at the bar. (well, we're still working on Larry  ...and GURPS...GURPS is GURPS, yaaknow.)
> 
> Try dating a bunch of selfish bratty man-babies or little ####-head divas who grew up with an iPhone in their hands since their PRE-TEENS....before they mastered basic teen to adult human socializing. Of course marriage is "tough" we all technically know that. But this generation is a bunch of self-absorbed, need results right now, snap their fingers in your face, give me give me. If we get married by tomorrow, then we start having issues bc of lack of communication, the solution is to divorce and move on by next Tuesday. No one wants to actually put in that work that's required to keep any relationships afloat bc we're already bored. On to the next.
> 
> Ooh he's cute. swipe right.



Try older guys.


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## Toxick

Beta said:


> Isn't that what people said about beatniks and hippies?





I may be an old curmudgeony fart, but beatniks and hippies are before my time. I have no idea what people said about them.







I'm not sure I entirely even know what a beatnik is. I thought they were just some sort of hipster douche-wads.


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## GWguy

Pete said:


> Try older guys.



2nd that.


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## lucky_bee

Pete said:


> Try older guys.



 like I didn't think of that lol


They're all fresh out of divorces with a couple kids and don't want anything serious  
And if they haven't been married yet, and they're over 35...there's usually a good reason


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## JeJeTe

lucky_bee said:


> like I didn't think of that lol
> 
> 
> They're all fresh out of divorces with a couple kids and don't want anything serious
> And if they haven't been married yet, and they're over 35...there's usually a good reason



Bingo. I did the older thing.  Didn't work out. I did the 35 and never married thing and that didnt' work out either.


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## Larry Gude

Pete said:


> Try older guys.



And there is sit, right there, on the T, just sitting...waiting for someone to take a swing at it...


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## Larry Gude

Beta said:


> That's because all of you old codgers forget that you were just as ####ed up as the generation you're belittling.  The only difference is you had your own way of being a moron that you think is acceptable, while the way the younger generation is doing it is wrong.   .



 

I am an old codger. I didn't forget. It was my point.


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## GWguy

lucky_bee said:


> like I didn't think of that lol
> 
> 
> They're all fresh out of divorces with a couple kids and don't want anything serious
> And if they haven't been married yet, and they're over 35...there's usually a good reason





JeJeTe said:


> Bingo. I did the older thing.  Didn't work out. I did the 35 and never married thing and that didnt' work out either.


Pete suggested 'older'.  Think 'older', not moma's boy.

I'll let him defend himself, but as for me, I've been divorced for 15 years, no kids, retired and financially secure.  No luggage, no regrets, no anger.

Life is Good.


----------



## SamSpade

lucky_bee said:


> like I didn't think of that lol
> 
> 
> They're all fresh out of divorces with a couple kids and don't want anything serious
> And if they haven't been married yet, and they're over 35...there's usually a good reason



Well, *I* would have been one of those before I did get married.
Thing is, it works both ways. I'm not sure it's BETTER if they're over 35 and have been married several times.
Everyone has baggage.

But I also realized I wasn't looking for someone perfect, just someone willing to put up with me.
And I was willing to do the same. Eleven years next month.


----------



## lucky_bee

JeJeTe said:


> Bingo. I did the older thing.  Didn't work out. I did the 35 and never married thing and that didnt' work out either.



#iknowright

I can't do much older than 40...that approaches daddy's girl issues. I have a line.  

But generally I don't mind divorced and I don't mind kids...what I do mind is all the *resentful *baggage they carry with them over both those things. (they ALL say they don't but usually do) AND I do mind to not being made into some little 'weekends only' thing...unless we work out some agreement where you pay my rent and buy me pretty things 



edit: or there's the ones that look ah-mazing on paper but immediately become overzealous and aggressive and ask me how's my day going 3 times before I finish my coffee.  no in between, people.


----------



## GURPS

SamSpade said:


> And I was willing to do the same. Eleven years next month.







10 next month for me 
.... 15 yrs knowing her


----------



## Monello

SamSpade said:


> I also realized I wasn't looking for someone perfect, just someone willing to put up with me.



You may have typed this as a joke, but there is a lot of truth in that statement.  And you don't have to be perfect, just be the perfect 1 for someone else.


----------



## Larry Gude

Monello said:


> You may have typed this as a joke, but there is a lot of truth in that statement.  And you don't have to be perfect, just be the perfect 1 for someone else.



Which means there is no 'putting up' with; it just works.


----------



## Larry Gude

lucky_bee said:


> #iknowright
> 
> I can't do much older than 40...that approaches daddy's girl issues. I have a line.   .



I'll take you out and you can have grandpa issues.


----------



## lucky_bee

Larry Gude said:


> I'll take you out and you can have grandpa issues.



I've always wanted a thread dedicated to me


----------



## Larry Gude

lucky_bee said:


> I've always wanted a thread dedicated to me



I'd read it...

"Larry is so cool...he gets us the senior discount wherever we go, forgets if he gave me flowers or not so he gets me more, loves freaking people out in public when they say what a lovely granddaughter he has by then saying "Yup, she's a keeper" and grabbing my ass, and is a hell of a guitar player..."


----------



## lucky_bee

Larry Gude said:


> I'd read it...
> 
> "Larry is so cool...he gets us the senior discount wherever we go, forgets if he gave me flowers or not so he gets me more, loves freaking people out in public when they say what a lovely granddaughter he has by then saying "Yup, she's a keeper" and grabbing my ass, and is a hell of a guitar player..."



 I was talking about being included in YOUR dating thread of troubles. 

"Bee's so awesome...heads turn every place we enter but damn if she doesn't shrink under the table every time I start getting loud and talkative with every person in the bar. But I gotta let these people know I'm here and I play guitar :shrug: And I'll be...since she's Italian, she prefers when I bring her lettuce and vegetables instead of flowers  sheesh."


----------



## Larry Gude

lucky_bee said:


> I was talking about being included in YOUR dating thread of troubles.
> 
> "Bee's so awesome...heads turn every place we enter but damn if she doesn't shrink under the table every time I start getting loud and talkative with every person in the bar. But I gotta let these people know I'm here and I play guitar :shrug: And I'll be...since she's Italian, she prefers when I bring her lettuce and vegetables instead of flowers  sheesh."



We can do that. This could be the Grand Thread, the dating thread by which all others will FOREVER be judged. And you know what? IF we were able to treat it objectively, to write as if we didn't know one another was reading it, it could be that elusive purely open stream of consciousness. I mean, I think I am reasonably objective but that could be the fascinating part about it. "She snores...like a chain saw...but, she likes to...so..."   "He is so sweet, and thoughtful, and awesome and then, when there is a full moon..." 

Hmmm....so, are you hot? Do you have a GREAT butt??? Do you like moonlight walks on the beach, talking about the environment, reciting poetry, bunnies and Slayer? You have to be interesting to talk to. Don't look down on wait staff or the trash man. Have a great laugh. Chew with you mouth, mostly, closed. Must not hate men. Or, at least not all of us. Smaller boobs are fabulous, especially if you have a great ass. You MUST like to ride. And like guitars. Band practice is Saturday am's 7:30 and Tuesday nights. Fair warning. 

I'm tall, 50 pounds over weight, pretty big guy, good teeth, GORGEOUS blue eyes, infantile, immature, grow a pretty mean salad and hate poetry. I cook, clean, ride every chance I get to avoid cooking and cleaning, and talk to strangers. I have something nice to say about all of my ex's. And, frankly, nothing mean to say about any of them. And I have apnea and use my CPAP and it makes me sleep great. And we can play Top Gun. You can be Goose...with a great butt.


----------



## lucky_bee

Larry Gude said:


> We can do that. This could be the Grand Thread, the dating thread by which all others will FOREVER be judged. And you know what? IF we were able to treat it objectively, to write as if we didn't know one another was reading it, it could be that elusive purely open stream of consciousness. I mean, I think I am reasonably objective but that could be the fascinating part about it. "She snores...like a chain saw...but, she likes to...so..."   "He is so sweet, and thoughtful, and awesome and then, when there is a full moon..."
> 
> Hmmm....so, are you hot? Do you have a GREAT butt??? Do you like moonlight walks on the beach, talking about the environment, reciting poetry, bunnies and Slayer? You have to be interesting to talk to. Don't look down on wait staff or the trash man. Have a great laugh. Chew with you mouth, mostly, closed. Must not hate men. Or, at least not all of us. Smaller boobs are fabulous, especially if you have a great ass. You MUST like to ride. And like guitars. Band practice is Saturday am's 7:30 and Tuesday nights. Fair warning.
> 
> I'm tall, 50 pounds over weight, pretty big guy, good teeth, GORGEOUS blue eyes, infantile, immature, grow a pretty mean salad and hate poetry. I cook, clean, ride every chance I get to avoid cooking and cleaning, and talk to strangers. I have something nice to say about all of my ex's. And, frankly, nothing mean to say about any of them. And I have apnea and use my CPAP and it makes me sleep great. And we can play Top Gun. You can be Goose...with a great butt.








I do have a fantastic butt. But too bad I hate guitars and I'm no longer on the market  






and what is it with older guys and trying to show me Top Gun


----------



## Larry Gude

lucky_bee said:


> I do have a fantastic butt. But too bad I hate guitars and I'm no longer on the market
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> and what is it with older guys and trying to show me Top Gun



How does anyone hate guitars? And Top Gun is a CPAP thing. Very sexy in a Darth Vader kind of way...


----------



## lucky_bee

Larry Gude said:


> How does anyone hate guitars? And Top Gun is a CPAP thing. Very sexy in a Darth Vader kind of way...



I prefer the drummers. It's more of a silent, mysterious guy in the background kinda thing 


Star Wars and Top Gun were both before my time


----------



## Hank

lucky_bee said:


> I prefer the drummers. It's more of a silent, mysterious guy in the background kinda thing
> 
> 
> Star Wars and Top Gun were both before my time



Ha! Drummers are the mental spastic dudes. Far from quiet.


----------



## Larry Gude

lucky_bee said:


> I prefer the drummers. It's more of a silent, mysterious guy in the background kinda thing
> 
> 
> Star Wars and Top Gun were both before my time



Women. Pretty much every woman I have ever known, who express's a preference, likes drummers. :shrug:  UFB    

How young are you?????


----------



## Larry Gude

Hank said:


> Ha! Drummers are the mental spastic dudes. Far from quiet.



They are not spastic. Guitar players own that.  Drummers are pretty mellow and just...different. They're all smart and always thinking. Not devious but certainly pondering stuff in a practical sense. At least every one I've ever known.


----------



## Hank

Larry Gude said:


> They are not spastic. Guitar players own that.  Drummers are pretty mellow and just...different. They're all smart and always thinking. Not devious but certainly pondering stuff in a practical sense. At least every one I've ever known.



I can only think of 1 drummer I have played with that I would consider "mellow".


----------



## Larry Gude

Hank said:


> I can only think of 1 drummer I have played with that I would consider "mellow".



I've roadied for, played with, know, 8 drummers the last 35 years and every single one of them is what I consider mellow.


----------



## lucky_bee

Larry Gude said:


> Women. Pretty much every woman I have ever known, who express's a preference, likes drummers. :shrug:  UFB
> 
> How young are you?????




Top Gun was released before I was even thought of.


----------



## Hank

Larry Gude said:


> I've roadied for, played with, know, 8 drummers the last 35 years and every single one of them is what I consider mellow.



Nothing good about a mellow drummer. I prefer playing with the spastic species. See, this is why our marriage will never work!


----------



## Larry Gude

Hank said:


> Nothing good about a mellow drummer. I prefer playing with the spastic species. See, this is why our marriage will never work!



Uh, err...well...OK.


----------



## Larry Gude

lucky_bee said:


> Top Gun was released before I was even thought of.



Ok, you're TOO young then. I'm not dating anyone as young as any of my kids or step kids. That means pre 1983 vintage.


----------



## lucky_bee

Larry Gude said:


> Ok, you're TOO young then. I'm not dating anyone as young as any of my kids or step kids. That means pre 1983 vintage.



 I told you.


----------



## Larry Gude

lucky_bee said:


> I told you.



Well, it was a nice thought for a moment. However, I could never get past the guitar thing...


----------



## Gilligan

I'm just taking notes.


----------



## Larry Gude

lucky_bee said:


> I told you.



Hmmm...we weren't ever married were we???


----------



## Hank

Larry Gude said:


> Uh, err...well...OK.



I didn't want to be accused of not staying on the subject.... Just roll with it.


----------



## Larry Gude

Hank said:


> I didn't want to be accused of not staying on the subject.... Just roll with it.



Yeah right well no.


----------



## Hank

Larry Gude said:


> Yeah right well no.



prude


----------



## Larry Gude

Hank said:


> prude



 

I hope Lucky Bee's boyfriend turns out to be a toad and she starts to get curious.


----------



## Hank

Larry Gude said:


> I hope Lucky Bee's boyfriend turns out to be a toad and she starts to get curious.



I think she already is... I smell a Meet & Greet!


----------



## lucky_bee

Larry Gude said:


> I hope Lucky Bee's boyfriend turns out to be a toad and she starts to get curious.



  I'll let you know if I discover some grandpa issues.


----------



## Larry Gude

lucky_bee said:


> I'll let you know if I discover some grandpa issues.



Well don't take too much time....


----------



## PeoplesElbow

Larry Gude said:


> I've roadied for, played with, know, 8 drummers the last 35 years and every single one of them is what I consider mellow.



Of course,  most of us have that Tommy Lee thing going on.  Im not talking about the hep C either.


----------



## Beta

JeJeTe said:


> Bingo. I did the older thing.  Didn't work out. I did the 35 and never married thing and that didnt' work out either.


Don't forget, we diagnosed your problem last year 



lucky_bee said:


> Top Gun was released before I was even thought of.




Too many young people haven't seen Top Gun.  I don't know what's wrong with all of you.  

Everyone who lives around here should see that movie!


----------



## Larry Gude

Beta said:


> Too many young people haven't seen Top Gun.  I don't know what's wrong with all of you.
> 
> Everyone who lives around here should see that movie!



New thread!!!!


----------



## lucky_bee

Beta said:


> Don't forget, we diagnosed your problem last year
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Too many young people haven't seen Top Gun.  I don't know what's wrong with all of you.
> 
> Everyone who lives around here should see that movie!



oh I've seen the movie.  This _older _navy guy I was seeing made me watch it


----------



## Larry Gude

lucky_bee said:


> oh I've seen the movie.  This _older _navy guy I was seeing made me watch it



How old?


----------



## lucky_bee

Larry Gude said:


> How old?



38...I was 26 then? That was pushing it.


----------



## Larry Gude

lucky_bee said:


> 38...I was 26 then? That was pushing it.



At 26, yeah, I'd agree. Once you get into YOUR 30's, a 12 year spread isn't such a big deal. Back then, at 26, I'm sure he was exciting and worldy to you. Now, in your 30's, you can see how little he really knew. Plus, you're still strong enough to push my wheelchair, help me off and on the bike, get my teeth...


----------



## JeJeTe

Beta said:


> Don't forget, we diagnosed your problem last year
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Too many young people haven't seen Top Gun.  I don't know what's wrong with all of you.
> 
> Everyone who lives around here should see that movie!



We did?  



lucky_bee said:


> 38...I was 26 then? That was pushing it.



I was 27-28 and dating a 44 year old.  Needless to say it didnt' work out.


----------



## Larry Gude

JeJeTe said:


> I was 27-28 and dating a 44 year old.  Needless to say it didnt' work out.



What does that mean? No fun? Bad experience? Was the goal marriage? Were you gad you did it?  

I think I could date a 60 year old which would be 9 years older me. Somewhere in there is a balance of age gap but that's gotta be a very case by case thing.


----------



## JeJeTe

Larry Gude said:


> What does that mean? No fun? Bad experience? Was the goal marriage? Were you gad you did it?
> 
> I think I could date a 60 year old which would be 9 years older me. Somewhere in there is a balance of age gap but that's gotta be a very case by case thing.



I think we had different goals.  I'm glad I did it because I learned a lot of things and I think he pushed me out of my comfort zone a bit.  I'm sorry I spent so much time thinking he'd come around to my way of thinking.


----------



## lucky_bee

Larry Gude said:


> At 26, yeah, I'd agree. Once you get into YOUR 30's, a 12 year spread isn't such a big deal. Back then, at 26, I'm sure he was exciting and worldy to you. Now, in your 30's, you can see how little he really knew. Plus, you're still strong enough to push my wheelchair, help me off and on the bike, get my teeth...



I could see how it'd come across like that but age only came into play when we argued about Top Gun or music. I think we worked, until we didn't, becauseee I kept him in his place. He was exciting, but the trick is to never let them know that! And god help me, if I ever fall for a man bc he's "worldly", LibertyTyranny I give you permission to smack me in the head with a globe


----------



## Larry Gude

JeJeTe said:


> I'm sorry I spent so much time thinking he'd come around to my way of thinking.



Anh. Not your fault. Comes with the vagina...


----------



## Larry Gude

lucky_bee said:


> I could see how it'd come across like that but age only came into play when we argued about Top Gun or music. I think we worked, until we didn't, becauseee I kept him in his place. He was exciting, but the trick is to never let them know that! And god help me, if I ever fall for a man bc he's "worldly", LibertyTyranny I give you permission to smack me in the head with a globe



'Worldly' can mean a lot of things. Some people are 'worldly', been there, seen that, done that, and really don't seem like they got much out of it. Some folks have hardly been anywhere or done much of anything and yet are pretty wise and thoughtful in ways one might ascribe to being 'worldly'. I shouldn't have used 'worldly' in reference to a pilot. Pilots live inside their own little world.


----------



## Larry Gude

lucky_bee said:


> I could see how it'd come across like that but age only came into play when we argued about Top Gun or music. I think we worked, until we didn't, becauseee I kept him in his place. He was exciting, but the trick is to never let them know that! And god help me, if I ever fall for a man bc he's "worldly", LibertyTyranny I give you permission to smack me in the head with a globe



So, what was 'his' place? What does that mean?


----------



## lucky_bee

Larry Gude said:


> So, what was 'his' place? What does that mean?








 the last thing I wanted was for him to get a big head thinking he was a big shot bc he bagged someone 12 years his junior. He wasn't really that type but I think, like most guys, secretly love it when you're mean to them  keeps them on their toes.


----------



## Beta

lucky_bee said:


> 38...I was 26 then? That was pushing it.


If Top Gun came out in 86 and you're older than 26, I think you must have been thought of when it came out.  



JeJeTe said:


> We did?


Yes!  You love dem county boys.


----------



## JeJeTe

Beta said:


> If Top Gun came out in 86 and you're older than 26, I think you must have been thought of when it came out.
> 
> 
> Yes!  You love dem county boys.



It didn't work with the non county person.  Just proves my point.    Currently working very well a county boy now.


----------



## JeJeTe

Larry Gude said:


> Anh. Not your fault. Comes with the vagina...



Having said this, I'm very glad he didn't come around to my way of thinking because I would have been miserable.


----------



## lucky_bee

Beta said:


> If Top Gun came out in 86 and you're older than 26, I think you must have been thought of when it came out.




 the dates are a few months off but since my dad was a Navy pilot in San Diego at the time.......


----------



## lucky_bee

JeJeTe said:


> It didn't work with the non county person.  Just proves my point.    Currently working very well a county boy now.



He owns a toolbelt, right?!


----------



## JeJeTe

lucky_bee said:


> He owns a toolbelt, right?!


----------



## lucky_bee

JeJeTe said:


>


----------



## Larry Gude

lucky_bee said:


> the last thing I wanted was for him to get a big head thinking he was a big shot bc he bagged someone 12 years his junior. He wasn't really that type but I think, like most guys, secretly love it when you're mean to them  keeps them on their toes.



Not me. I like being teased, smart ass-ness, playfulness. I don't like mean. I don't like NOT knowing what you like about me or don't. I can handle disagreement just fine. I don't do well with not understanding or not knowing.


----------



## Larry Gude

JeJeTe said:


> Having said this, I'm very glad he didn't come around to my way of thinking because I would have been miserable.



So, the lesson being...


----------



## JeJeTe

lucky_bee said:


>



Exactly!  Where is the emoji with hearts in their eyes? I need that right now.


----------



## MMDad

Larry Gude said:


> Not me. I like being teased, smart ass-ness, playfulness. I don't like mean. I don't like NOT knowing what you like about me or don't. I can handle disagreement just fine. I don't do well with not understanding or not knowing.



Damn Larry. You're getting to be worse than Lance sniffing up all these young women. Skip the Viagra for a day.


----------



## lucky_bee

Larry Gude said:


> Not me. I like being teased, smart ass-ness, playfulness. I don't like mean. I don't like NOT knowing what you like about me or don't. I can handle disagreement just fine. I don't do well with not understanding or not knowing.



I guess when I say mean, that's what I'm talking about. I'm not actually rude-mean. I'm a smart-ass and love teasing. Dated a guy or two who either couldn't keep up, or just plain didn't like being teased. Nope. Next.


----------



## JeJeTe

Larry Gude said:


> So, the lesson being...



Things come in and leave your life for a reason.  Just take the lesson and let it go if it doesn't work for you.  Don't try to turn every relationship into marriage.


----------



## libertytyranny

lucky_bee said:


> I guess when I say mean, that's what I'm talking about. I'm not actually rude-mean. I'm a smart-ass and love teasing. Dated a guy or two who either couldn't keep up, or just plain didn't like being teased. Nope. Next.



Like the one that got butthurt when I (and mild for me) teased him? lmao. 




I basically like to say something borderline insulting within a few minutes of meeting someone I am interested in. How they take it determines if I want to continue. I honestly cannot tell you how many men I have dated that upon meeting me thought I was a total and complete bitch.  takes a few minutes to figure out I am only teasing.


----------



## lucky_bee

libertytyranny said:


> Like the one that got butthurt when I (and mild for me) teased him? lmao.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I basically like to say something borderline insulting within a few minutes of meeting someone I am interested in. How they take it determines if I want to continue. I honestly cannot tell you how many men I have dated that upon meeting me thought I was a total and complete bitch.  takes a few minutes to figure out I am only teasing.



 that has happened to us both enough times I've lost track. 

your current boo looked like you punched him in the gut when you told him how you feel about Jeeps...stopped dead in his tracks  
Look where you're at now  

The first words outta my mouth to mine was calling him and his friends a bunch of ass holes


----------



## Larry Gude

MMDad said:


> Damn Larry. You're getting to be worse than Lance sniffing up all these young women. Skip the Viagra for a day.



Jealousy is such an ugly thing


----------



## Larry Gude

JeJeTe said:


> Things come in and leave your life for a reason.  Just take the lesson and let it go if it doesn't work for you.  Don't try to turn every relationship into marriage.



And there it is.


----------



## Larry Gude

lucky_bee said:


> I guess when I say mean, that's what I'm talking about. I'm not actually rude-mean. I'm a smart-ass and love teasing. Dated a guy or two who either couldn't keep up, or just plain didn't like being teased. Nope. Next.



Good girl. 

I don't do well with people who don't actively like teasing and being teased.


----------



## Monello

Larry Gude said:


> We can do that. This could be the Grand Thread, the dating thread by which all others will FOREVER be judged. And you know what? IF we were able to treat it objectively, to write as if we didn't know one another was reading it, it could be that elusive purely open stream of consciousness. I mean, I think I am reasonably objective but that could be the fascinating part about it.



If you do head down this road, create an MPD first.


----------



## Larry Gude

Monello said:


> If you do head down this road, create an MPD first.



If?


----------



## Hank

lucky_bee said:


> like most guys, secretly love it when you're mean to them  keeps them on their toes.



false


----------



## Monello

Hank said:


> false



Agreed


----------



## Monello

Larry Gude said:


> If?



If you decide to create another epic dating thread. 

I replied to this comment.


> This could be the Grand Thread, the dating thread by which all others will FOREVER be judged. And you know what? IF we were able to treat it objectively, to write as if we didn't know one another was reading it, it could be that elusive purely open stream of consciousness.


----------



## Larry Gude

Monello said:


> If...



IF????   


When.


----------



## MarieB

Hank said:


> false



Yeah. 

Have things changed that much?!


----------

