# Toe nail collection



## BlueBird

I've been collecting my toe nails now for about 14 years and have gathered an impressive 5.5 gallon glass jug full.  As I was sorting through some of my toe nails I noticed that many of them towards the bottom of the glass jar were starting to turn black and smelled very bad.  I became ill after placing one of the toe nail's close to my nose for a better sniff.  Has anyone else noticed their toe nail's from their collection "spoiling"?  I was under the impression that I could keep my Toe Nail's indefinitely and pass them on to my children when I pass.  Yes they are in my will.

I'm having second thoughts now and am considering discarding my impressive collection of toe nail's.  Should I just throw them away or would they need to be disposed of in a more environmentally friendly manner?

Please offer some suggestions....

P.S.

I also have an impressive collection of dehydrated bugs I'll be selling soon on Ebay.  If anyone here is interested send me a PM and we can work out a deal.  This offer is open for my toe nail collection as well.


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## designerxboi

BlueBird said:


> Should I just throw them away or would they need to be disposed of in a more environmentally friendly manner?
> 
> Please offer some suggestions....QUOTE]
> 
> 
> Why dont you just bury them in the backyard and see if you can grow toe's with full nails.  Then you can sell the those, toes, on ebay and make a better profit than just the nail clippings alone.
> 
> ....just a thought.


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## thebird

BlueBird said:


> I've been collecting my toe nails now for about 14 years and have gathered an impressive 5.5 gallon glass jug full.  As I was sorting through some of my toe nails I noticed that many of them towards the bottom of the glass jar were starting to turn black and smelled very bad.  I became ill after placing one of the toe nail's close to my nose for a better sniff.  Has anyone else noticed their toe nail's from their collection "spoiling"?  I was under the impression that I could keep my Toe Nail's indefinitely and pass them on to my children when I pass.  Yes they are in my will.
> 
> I'm having second thoughts now and am considering discarding my impressive collection of toe nail's.  Should I just throw them away or would they need to be disposed of in a more environmentally friendly manner?
> 
> Please offer some suggestions....
> 
> P.S.
> 
> I also have an impressive collection of dehydrated bugs I'll be selling soon on Ebay.  If anyone here is interested send me a PM and we can work out a deal.  This offer is open for my toe nail collection as well.


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## Cowgirl

Hmm...maybe add those little desiccant packets that come in shoe boxes.


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## BlueBird

Cowgirl said:


> Hmm...maybe add those little desiccant packets that come in shoe boxes.



Hadn't thought of this before.  Great idea thx!


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## Toxick

BlueBird said:


> I also have an impressive collection of dehydrated bugs I'll be selling soon on Ebay.  If anyone here is interested send me a PM and we can work out a deal.  This offer is open for my toe nail collection as well.





Dammit! Why didn't you post this BEFORE I had reached my christmas spending budget


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## Xaquin44

hahahaha

this is the best thread


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## BlueBird

Toxick said:


> Dammit! Why didn't you post this BEFORE I had reached my christmas spending budget



You know what's funny?  I was sorting through my toe nails just a few weeks ago and thought this very same thing.

To be honest many people are sort of repulsed by my collection if you can believe it.  Were you more interested in my dehydrated bug collection or my impressive toe nail collection?  PM me for a real good deal.  I can personally guarantee that you won't ever see a toe nail collection this large!  My bug collection is equally impressive with over 1800 species of dehydrated bugs from around the world.  I'll even be willing to throw in my BOT fly eggs as an added bonus.

I should warn you that some of the bugs are very old and very brittle so you won't want to play with them too much.  The Madagaskar Hissing Cockroaches are in very good shape and can be used as props if you like to freak guests out during dinner parties.

Send me a PM right away and we can work out a deal.  Yes I deliver.....


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## Toxick

BlueBird said:


> To be honest many people are sort of repulsed by my collection if you can believe it.




As if!




BlueBird said:


> Were you more interested in my dehydrated bug collection or my impressive toe nail collection?




The toenails. Definitely.




BlueBird said:


> Send me a PM right away and we can work out a deal.  Yes I deliver.....



I'll PM you my number and address, and we can work out the details later. I will need them before Christmas - it's for that special someone - so time is of the essence.


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## BlueBird

Toxick said:


> As if!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> The toenails. Definitely.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I'll PM you my number and address, and we can work out the details later. I will need them before Christmas - it's for that special someone - so time is of the essence.



Very good choice!  I'll be looking for that PM and you're going to make that special someopne very, very happy this year!

I'm asking $12,650 for my toe nail clippings and $15,000 for the bugs.  I don't think you'll be able to get a toe nail collection this large or impressive anywhere so it's a fair price based on the current market value for toe nail clippings I think.  I would be more than happy to drop them off to you this weekend.  Sorry no payments will be accepted for these items.  I will accept a lump sum payment via paypal if this works for you.

I don't know about you but I'm stoked!  Do you need pics?  Give me your email address and send you some.


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## morningbell

If you can sort the insects and pin them to a wax board, then frame them, considering what insects they are I might be interested.  I like spiders, moths, and beetles.


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## SoMDGirl42

morningbell said:


> If you can sort the insects and pin them to a wax board, then frame them, considering what insects they are I might be interested.  I like spiders, moths, and beetles.



I might be able to hook you up if he can't. I remember having to do a bug collection in 6th grade. We had to have 25 or 30 types of different bugs pinned to the board and labeled. It may still be in my mothers attic. The good news is, it is also now an antique. The bad news is, because it is antique, the price just tripled. PM me for directions to the attic, along with your accounting information from the bank for the $$ transfer.


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## Nanny Pam

Is anyone interested in some navel lint ...
or how about some fromunda cheese?


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## morningbell

SoMDGirl42 said:


> I might be able to hook you up if he can't. I remember having to do a bug collection in 6th grade. We had to have 25 or 30 types of different bugs pinned to the board and labeled. It may still be in my mothers attic. The good news is, it is also now an antique. The bad news is, because it is antique, the price just tripled. PM me for directions to the attic, along with your accounting information from the bank for the $$ transfer.









Nanny Pam said:


> Is anyone interested in some navel lint ...
> or how about some fromunda cheese?



I'll trade you for my booger collection :shrug:


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## Nanny Pam

morningbell said:


> I'll trade you for my booger collection :shurg:



Hard, shootin' boogers?  or the slimy ones?


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## morningbell

Nanny Pam said:


> Hard, shootin' boogers?  or the slimy ones?



They're all hard at this point, it's hard to preserve the slimy ones, sorry.  

I have a variety of colors though


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## SoMDGirl42

morningbell said:


> I'll trade you for my booger collection :shurg:



I have my kids umbilical cords from when they fell off; One looks like Jesus, one looks like Santa's Elf, and the other looks like a circus midget (the cords, not the kids). Wanna trade?


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## SoMDGirl42

morningbell said:


> They're all hard at this point, it's hard to preserve the slimy ones, sorry.
> 
> I have a variety of colors though



Just add a drop of luke warm water and wait a minute or two. Those suckers puff right back up just like the little foam shapes you can buy the kids that come in the pill looking packages.


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## morningbell

SoMDGirl42 said:


> I have my kids umbilical cords from when they fell off; One looks like Jesus, one looks like Santa's Elf, and the other looks like a circus midget (the cords, not the kids). Wanna trade?



I'll trade you 2 crusty scabs and 1 giant orange booger for the circus midget umbilical, unless you want my very first tampon, used of course.


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## SoMDGirl42

morningbell said:


> I'll trade you 2 crusty scabs and 1 giant orange booger for the circus midget umbilical, unless you want my very first tampon, used of course.



I'd prefer the very first used condom. I hear that stuff is like alcohol and gets more potent as it ferments. A little dab 'el do ya.


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## BlueBird

You won't be mocking me once my toe nail collection ends up in the guiness book of world records!

By the way I use to have a scab collection until my dog got into it and ate it all.  Scab's are really difficult to collect.  Propst to anyone who's had success.


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## Papi4baby

I have no idea what to think.


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## BlueBird

A quick update....

The toe nail collection is history.  As luck would have it my my son brought it to school for show and tell and I ended up having to explain a few things to the school counselor and to the teacher and principal.  It was recommended that I find a new hobby.  And so I did; I am now collecting belly button lint and it's going extremely well!

In just a few short weeks I've accumulated an impressive amount weighing nearly 4 oz's.  By summer I could have enough to make a shirt!!!


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## ashliekay711

i know this is old... but i really hope this entire thread was a joke lol


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## nomoney

ashliekay711 said:


> i know this is old... but i really hope this entire thread was a joke lol


 

I'd LOVE to know what you were searching for that led you to stumble across a thread about toenail clippings


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## limblips

Wow, and I thought my having a foreskin collection wwas weird!


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## ashliekay711

nomoney said:


> I'd LOVE to know what you were searching for that led you to stumble across a thread about toenail clippings



didn't search anything, just bored at work and started going through old posts, stumbled upon this one in the hobbies section... wish i hadn't lol


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## Toxick

The bottom layers in my toenail collection have finally liquified into a viscous and rancid crude-oil-like substance.



And it smells oddly like pickles, onions and vomit mixed with a hint of hazelnut.


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## SoMDGirl42

Toxick said:


> The bottom layers in my toenail collection have finally liquified into a viscous and rancid crude-oil-like substance.
> 
> 
> 
> And it smells oddly like pickles, onions and vomit mixed with a hint of hazelnut.



are you bluebird, or do we have a second collection of nail clippings up for grabs?


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## Toxick

SoMDGirl42 said:


> are you bluebird, or do we have a second collection of nail clippings up for grabs?





I'm not bluebird, but my collection is not up for grabs.




I'm keeping it until it can be effectively used as some kind of nuclear fuel.


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## Bronwyn

nomoney said:


> I'd LOVE to know what you were searching for that led you to stumble across a thread about toenail clippings


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## BuddyLee

I've read it all now.

A decaying toe nail collection.


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## SassyLady

BlueBird said:


> I've been collecting my toe nails now for about 14 years and have gathered an impressive 5.5 gallon glass jug full.  As I was sorting through some of my toe nails I noticed that many of them towards the bottom of the glass jar were starting to turn black and smelled very bad.  I became ill after placing one of the toe nail's close to my nose for a better sniff.  Has anyone else noticed their toe nail's from their collection "spoiling"?  I was under the impression that I could keep my Toe Nail's indefinitely and pass them on to my children when I pass.  Yes they are in my will.
> 
> I'm having second thoughts now and am considering discarding my impressive collection of toe nail's.  Should I just throw them away or would they need to be disposed of in a more environmentally friendly manner?
> 
> Please offer some suggestions....
> 
> P.S.
> 
> I also have an impressive collection of dehydrated bugs I'll be selling soon on Ebay.  If anyone here is interested send me a PM and we can work out a deal.  This offer is open for my toe nail collection as well.



YOU DID WHAT???????


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## twinoaks207

OMG!!!

Can't decide whether to  or


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## D-35

*Your Toe-Nail Open-Sore Oozing*



SassyLady said:


> YOU DID WHAT???????



Relax Pilgrim!! 

You just need my "MY SMEGMA" cloudy disinfectant ointment and balm canned emollient cream! 

Stand-By! Here It Comes...............  ENJOY!


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## Retrodeb54

Wrap broken up (not totally crushed) pieces of chalk in cheesecloth and tied off. 




*leaves thread wondering* Why oh why did I come in here? Why oh why did I respond? Yes, I see the light, I'm coming......


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## BlueBird

So it has been awhile since I parted with my impressive Toe nail collection and I just thought I would give a quick update on what's been keeping me busy lately.

As some of you may recall I started a belly button lint collection soon after selling my huge toe nail collection to a very lucky buyer.  The belly button lint collection has grown at an astronomical rate.  For some strange but equally impressive reason my belly button cavity (which is quite deep) can hold some very incredible amounts of lint.  In fact, I'll put my belly button up against any dryer lint trap out there, anywhere in the world.  In the last year alone I've collected a few hundred pounds of some very high quality belly button lint.

The lint appears to be a very complex blend of chest and stomach hair woven with particles of polyester, rayon, dead skin and cotton.  It's quite soft and comfortable to sleep on.  We took my belly button lint collection camping with us a few weeks back and when it started to rain it did get a little wet.  Much to our surprise it didn't smell as bad as you might think.  We sat it out by the fire where it dried off very fast.  Some of it did catch on fire and I'll admit that it produced a very un pleasent arome.  Most likely due to the burning hair and dead skin trapped between the super high tech fibers.  We all slept very well on it though.

In the future I imagine my belly button lint collection being enormous and taking up more space than I can dedicate to such a collection.  When this happens I will look into making cute stuffed animals using the belly button lint and selling them at Walmart for $2.99.  I think that will be a fair price for a superior quality stuffed animal.  It's rewarding to know that in the future my belly button lint will be as big a part of your lives as it is mine.  Perhaps my belly button lint holds cures for things like cancer, or other deadly diseases.  It's even possible that my belly button lint could solve world hunger and halt global warming.  I also think it's possible that my belly button lint could some how be used to fuel future manned missions to Mars or even Pluto.  Pluto is no longer considered a planet but my belly button lint could get us there to find out for sure and that sure would be cool....


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## Pushrod

Too bad you got rid of your toenail collection. I have this wonderful collection of toenail scrapings and toe cheese (yes, I know I shouldn't have combined them both together and decreased their individual values). I keep them in a 5 gallon bucket with is about 3/4 full in my chest freezer. I actually spread some on toast one time, but it really didn't taste all that impressive and gave me really bad breath for the rest of the day. Anyway, we could have combined our collections and sold them for some really BIG money if you hadn't of already got rid of your collection .


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## BlueBird

Pushrod said:


> Too bad you got rid of your toenail collection. I have this wonderful collection of toenail scrapings and toe cheese (yes, I know I shouldn't have combined them both together and decreased their individual values). I keep them in a 5 gallon bucket with is about 3/4 full in my chest freezer. I actually spread some on toast one time, but it really didn't taste all that impressive and gave me really bad breath for the rest of the day. Anyway, we could have combined our collections and sold them for some really BIG money if you hadn't of already got rid of your collection .




I have no interest in combining my collections with those of others.  Toe Cheese on toast is a very gross idea.... What's wrong with you? This would be the equivelant of me eating some of the dead skin I like to collect and use for making helloween masks.  1.  It would be a huge waste of dead skin and 2.  Dead skin doesn't have much flavor.


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## Pushrod

BlueBird said:


> I have no interest in combining my collections with those of others.  Toe Cheese on toast is a very gross idea.... What's wrong with you? This would be the equivelant of me eating some of the dead skin I like to collect and use for making helloween masks.  1.  It would be a huge waste of dead skin and 2.  Dead skin doesn't have much flavor.



But they call it toe "cheese"! And cheese is a fine product to eat, so logic only leads one to have to try it, just like I would try a taste of the moon since it is reportedly made of swiss cheese.


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## BlueBird

Pushrod said:


> But they call it toe "cheese"! And cheese is a fine product to eat, so logic only leads one to have to try it, just like I would try a taste of the moon since it is reportedly made of swiss cheese.



Do you apply this same logic to Dingle "Berries"?


I use to collect dingle berries and store them in mason jars under the bathroom sink.  Just because they are berries, and berries are edible doesn't mean I would ever eat some of them.  I heard they taste like ass..... Is this true?

I suppose you would probably make dingleberry jam out of them and spread it on toast....  How about a dingleberry sandwich?


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## Pushrod

BlueBird said:


> Do you apply this same logic to Dingle "Berries"?
> 
> 
> I use to collect dingle berries and store them in mason jars under the bathroom sink.  Just because they are berries, and berries are edible doesn't mean I would ever eat some of them.  I heard they taste like ass..... Is this true?
> 
> I suppose you would probably make dingleberry jam out of them and spread it on toast....  How about a dingleberry sandwich?



Now you made me hungry with all this mention of food. Guess, I'll have to go catch some dust bunnies and stew them up.


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## BlueBird

Pushrod said:


> Now you made me hungry with all this mention of food. Guess, I'll have to go catch some dust bunnies and stew them up.




See now your talking.  Dust Bunnies are some good eating.

Dingle berry pie for desert anyone? Or perhaps some toe cheese cake with dingle berries on top washed down with some nice fresh chocalate breast milk.  Now that's some good eatin'.


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## Wookie

*Toe Nail/strange Collection Wanted!!!!*

Did you sell your amazing toenail collection? I am in the market for something astronomically impressive like this... Also-belly lint is interesting. Let me know...


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## Pushrod

Wookie said:


> Did you sell your amazing toenail collection? I am in the market for something astronomically impressive like this... Also-belly lint is interesting. Let me know...



Being a wookie, you must collect an amazing amount of belly lint!


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## bcp

stamp them into the shapes of Jesus and the Virgin Mary.
 then sell them on E-bay.


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## BlueBird

Wookie said:


> Did you sell your amazing toenail collection? I am in the market for something astronomically impressive like this... Also-belly lint is interesting. Let me know...



Yes unfortunately for you my impressive toe nail collection is now being enjoyed by a very lucky person.  Thanks for your interest and I respect your fine taste.

I have been collecting an impressive amount of eye boogers.  I harvest them in the late morning several hours after waking up to ensure maximum firmness.  The draw back is that it's taking an incredibly long time to fill my 5 gallon carboy.  I would guess that it's only a third of the way full.

What would one estimate its value at I wonder?


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## BlueBird

Bump


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## RoseRed

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/...toenails_n_5700494.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news


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## Roman




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