# Very punny!



## jazz lady

Post them if you've got them.


----------



## Wishbone




----------



## RoseRed

Wishbone said:


> View attachment 119653


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## Agee

Quacking me-up!


----------



## Gilligan




----------



## Gilligan




----------



## jazz lady

Gilligan said:


> View attachment 119667



Talk about minding your P'S and Q's.


----------



## Gilligan




----------



## FireBrand

*'Life in the Slaw Lane' by Kip Addotta*
[video=youtube;Yu0ImXftHxc]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yu0ImXftHxc[/video]


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Gilligan

A nice pair of them.


----------



## Gilligan

It's what's for lunch....


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Wishbone

Al-Gebra... Al-Quedas smarter brother.


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 119697





I think..


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady

Love this one!


----------



## Wishbone

jazz lady said:


> Love this one!
> 
> View attachment 119702



:groan:


----------



## Wishbone




----------



## RoseRed

Wishbone said:


> View attachment 119704



That's a hella caterpillar!


----------



## RoseRed




----------



## DEEKAYPEE8569

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/02/02gridge.phtml

Tom Ridge: Good afternoon! Before we begin today's briefing, I wish to announce that, on the basis of change in the nature of Al-Queda chatter, we are changing the current threat level to Magenta. Let me repeat: the threat level is now.. Magenta. What is Magenta? It's a darker maroon. It's not quite an ox blood. It's more plum color than.. say.. a crimson. How serious is it? [ sighs ] I honestly don't have an answer for that. We'll try to have that for you by early in the week. In any case, I'd like to introduce Craig Fenson, the new senior spokesman for the office of Homeland Security, and he'll be happy to take your questions. 

Craig Fenson: Good afternoon. In the past few weeks, through our national hotline, we have collected hundreds of names of suspected terrorists, and I'm proud to say that most of the calls have come from high school and college students nationwide. In fact, we received over 475 calls alone regarding this man: M'Balz Es-Hari. We also received information on such nefarious terrorists such as Graabir Boubi, and Haid D'Salaami and.. let this be a message to you, Haid D'Salaami: we will not play your dangerous games We are also currently searching for a man we believe to be a Al Queda leutinant: Hous Bin Pharteen, his cousin I-Bin Pharteen, and their close companion I-Zheet M'Drurz. Question over there? 

Reporter #1: Is there a way to identify Hous Bin Pharteen? 

Craig Fenson: Ah.. our operatives have picked up his scent. Also, according to our intelligence, he is targeting gas refineries, fertilizer plants, and, oddly enough, baked bean canneries. He is a silent, but deadly killer. 

Reporter #2: What can you tell us about I-Zheet M'Drurz? 

Craig Fenson: We're told that, when he was fleeing the scene of his last attack, he left skidmarks. He is extremely dangerous. Our sources say that he is planning on attacking the New York City sewer system with what we believe it is to be a dirty bomb. 

Reporter #3: Do you have any other names you're willing to release? 

Craig Fenson: Yes! Please call our hotline at once if you have any information on the following men: Shaif Hirboush.. Al-Suq Akweer.. Mustaf Herod Apyur Poupr. I hope I got that right! Awan Afuqya.. Yul Strokheet Al-Wauch.. Apul Madeek - who we believe will be targeting adult bookstores sometime in the near future. And this man, the notorious Yuliqa M'Diq, A.K.A. Uwana M'Diq, A.K.A. Usuqa M'Diq. Uh.. thank you, that is all, and, "Live, from New York, it's Saturday Night!"


----------



## jazz lady

RoseRed said:


> View attachment 119711


----------



## Wishbone

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 119712


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## This_person




----------



## FireBrand




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## DEEKAYPEE8569




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady

For Kwilla...


----------



## jazz lady

Earworm time...


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Wishbone

jazz lady said:


> Earworm time...
> 
> View attachment 119766


----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## FireBrand

Dupontster said:


> ...


----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## jazz lady

Dupontster said:


> ...


I posted that to my brother who is a chef and he was NOT amused.


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Gilligan




----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## jazz lady

Wanna talk about Sodium?
Na

Nitric Oxide?
NO

Oxygen Magnesium Phosphorus Iodine Sulfur or Fluorine?
OMg PISS OFF

...Potassium?
K


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## GWguy

jazz lady said:


> ...Potassium?
> K



My brother always uses 'K' instead of Ok or something when texting.  One day I texted 'Potassium'.  He was clueless.


----------



## Gilligan

GWguy said:


> My brother always uses 'K' instead of Ok or something when texting.  One day I texted 'Potassium'.  He was clueless.



I don't get it.


----------



## GWguy

Gilligan said:


> I don't get it.



I wouldn't expect you to.  This is next-level thinking.


----------



## Gilligan

GWguy said:


> I wouldn't expect you to.  This is next-level thinking.



:rats:


----------



## jazz lady

GWguy said:


> My brother always uses 'K' instead of Ok or something when texting.  One day I texted 'Potassium'.  He was clueless.



Most would be. I embrace my inner .




Gilligan said:


> I don't get it.





GWguy said:


> I wouldn't expect you to.  This is next-level thinking.





Gilligan said:


> :rats:



 

Anyway, back to our regularly scheduled program and this is quite fitting.


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 119828


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Gilligan

Science


----------



## Gilligan




----------



## luvmygdaughters




----------



## Gilligan




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Gilligan

For the folks in hurricane areas...


----------



## Gilligan




----------



## jazz lady

*Musically inclined*


----------



## Gilligan




----------



## Wishbone

If he becomes a suicide bomber, he'll be Shredded Wheat.


----------



## Gilligan




----------



## Miker/t




----------



## FireBrand

....


----------



## jazz lady

Gilligan said:


> View attachment 119935



Hey! Quit stealing my stuff!  


Anyhoo...


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> Hey! Quit stealing my stuff!



I sawwy...I'll try to do better.


----------



## Dupontster

Ready for this???????


----------



## FireBrand




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Gilligan




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady

For Kwillia.


----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 120061


----------



## edinsomd

Misheard Lyrics.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DB-iWtRv1E


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## FireBrand

......


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## luvmygdaughters

A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.


----------



## glhs837

Daughter posted a pic of her holding a gourd and looking pensive so I asked if she was meloncoly....


----------



## jazz lady

*From Kwillia to me*

Dear Jazz,

My mom called my cellphone while I was at work. 

She asked me, "Where do cantalopes go for the summer?" I'm like, "What? Huh? I don't know."

They go to John Cougar Mellencamps!"

My head still hurts.


----------



## kwillia

jazz lady said:


> Dear Jazz,
> 
> My mom called my cellphone while I was at work.
> 
> She asked me, "Where do cantalopes go for the summer?" I'm like, "What? Huh? I don't know."
> 
> They go to John Cougar Mellencamps!"
> 
> My head still hurts.


----------



## jazz lady

kwillia said:


>



  You ignored my tread to you the other day.


----------



## RoseRed

jazz lady said:


> Dear Jazz,
> 
> My mom called my cellphone while I was at work.
> 
> She asked me, "Where do cantalopes go for the summer?" I'm like, "What? Huh? I don't know."
> 
> They go to John Cougar Mellencamps!"
> 
> My head still hurts.





kwillia said:


>


----------



## kwillia

jazz lady said:


> You ignored my tread to you the other day.



Yes.... yes I did...


----------



## jazz lady

kwillia said:


> Yes.... yes I did...


----------



## kwillia

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 120227


Why did I click that link... :


----------



## jazz lady

kwillia said:


> Why did I click that link... :



Curiosity killed the cat.


----------



## jazz lady

Another for Kwillia...


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## RoseRed

[video=youtube;nA0pB87W-L0]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nA0pB87W-L0[/video]


----------



## jazz lady

RoseRed said:


> [video=youtube;nA0pB87W-L0]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nA0pB87W-L0[/video]


----------



## RoseRed

jazz lady said:


>



There's more on YouTube!


----------



## jazz lady

For DoWhat...


----------



## DoWhat

jazz lady said:


> For DoWhat...
> 
> View attachment 120397



Thank You.
I love that song.
SOOOOOOOO many Mammories.


----------



## Gilligan




----------



## Gilligan




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## FireBrand

Dupontster said:


> ...


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Miker/t




----------



## Gilligan




----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## b23hqb

Gilligan said:


> View attachment 120529


----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## Dupontster

....


----------



## Dupontster

Lol


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## gemma_rae

My friend ordered breakfast and went crazy. I asked him why and he said "you see any toast?" I said no why? he said "I'M LACK TOAST INTOLERANT!"


----------



## Kyle




----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## Gilligan




----------



## GWguy

Gilligan said:


> View attachment 121141



See Post #71....


----------



## Gilligan

GWguy said:


> See Post #71....



rats


----------



## GWguy

Gilligan said:


> rats



Hey.  If something is that good, it bears repeating.


----------



## Gilligan

GWguy said:


> Hey.  If something is that good, it bears repeating.



Bears..yeah..that's the ticket..I got some great bear puns. BRB.


----------



## luvmygdaughters

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.


----------



## Gilligan




----------



## RoseRed

Gilligan said:


> View attachment 121149


----------



## luvmygdaughters

Gilligan;5841:lmao::lmao:248 said:
			
		

> View attachment 121149


----------



## luvmygdaughters

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. 

One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amal. The other goes to a family in Spain. They name him Juan. 

Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. 

He responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."


----------



## b23hqb

Gilligan said:


> View attachment 121149



:


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Kyle




----------



## GWguy

This thread makes my day....


----------



## jazz lady

GWguy said:


> This thread makes my day....


Everyone needs a little bit of humor. Good for the soul.


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady

Oh, the irony...


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## RoseRed

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 121226


----------



## jazz lady

RoseRed said:


>


And no, that was not me but sure could be.


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## RoseRed

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 121230


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Gilligan




----------



## jazz lady

Gilligan said:


> View attachment 121261



Psst...post 170.


----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> Psst...post 170.



Rats. I need to try and keep up. ;-p


----------



## Gilligan




----------



## RoseRed

Gilligan said:


> View attachment 121262



:groan:


----------



## Gilligan

RoseRed said:


> :groan:



Rats again. I was trying to redeem myself. ;-p


----------



## jazz lady

Gilligan said:


> Rats again. I was trying to redeem myself. ;-p



You did for me as it was one you didn't "borrow" from me.


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady

Ladies, you understand.


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 121301



*groan*


----------



## gary_webb

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 121276



lmao.


----------



## gary_webb

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 119660



He thinks conduit is totally tubular.


----------



## jazz lady

Gilligan said:


> *groan*



:curtsy:


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Gilligan

phew!


----------



## jazz lady

Gilligan said:


> phew!



Had to get them out before I 'sploded. :shrug:


----------



## Kyle




----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Gilligan

I hear it's easy to keep the ladies from eating Tide Pods...

...but its harder to deter gents


----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 121356



That's so bad...it's funny.


----------



## RoseRed

Gilligan said:


> I hear it's easy to keep the ladies from eating Tide Pods...
> 
> ...but its harder to deter gents


----------



## jazz lady

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 121214





Gilligan said:


> I hear it's easy to keep the ladies from eating Tide Pods...
> 
> ...but its harder to deter gents



Post 175.


----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> Post 175.



Yer killin' me!  ;-p


----------



## jazz lady

Gilligan said:


> Yer killin' me!  ;-p



No, that would be the crappy beer you drink.


----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> No, that would be the crappy beer you drink.



oh sure..pile on, why doncha...


----------



## Kyle

Gilligan said:


> oh sure..pile on, why doncha...



Stay Thirsty My Friend!


----------



## Grumpy




----------



## b23hqb

Grumpy said:


>


----------



## jazz lady

Bwahaha!!!


----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> Bwahaha!!!
> 
> View attachment 121378



good grief. Pun OD..   ;-p


----------



## GWguy

jazz lady said:


> Bwahaha!!!
> 
> View attachment 121378



I like that one better than the one I usually tell....
 Two Vultures...

    .... are getting on a plane. The attendant asks if the vultures would like to check their luggage. They respond...




    "No thanx. This is carrion."


----------



## GWguy

https://forums.somd.com/threads/262602-Punography?p=5020336&viewfull=1#post5020336


----------



## jazz lady

Gilligan said:


> good grief. Pun OD..   ;-p



That's what makes it so delicious!


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## RoseRed

jazz lady said:


> <img src="https://forums.somd.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=121391"/>


----------



## jazz lady

Dear Lord!


----------



## GWguy

jazz lady said:


> Dear Lord!
> 
> View attachment 121395



:doublegroan:


----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> Dear Lord!
> 
> View attachment 121395


----------



## jazz lady

GWguy said:


> :doublegroan:





Gilligan said:


>


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Gilligan

Where's a "smiley holding it's nose" emoticon when you need one?  ;-p


----------



## jazz lady

Gilligan said:


> Where's a "smiley holding it's nose" emoticon when you need one?  ;-p



 should work.


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 121406


----------



## Gilligan




----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## FireBrand




----------



## FireBrand




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 121418



....I love the geek ones...probably because I are one..


----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## luvmygdaughters

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. 

After an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. 

"But why?" they asked, as they moved off. 

"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."


----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## jazz lady

Gilligan said:


> ....I love the geek ones...probably because I are one..



Yes, me too. The geekier the better.


----------



## jazz lady

*Hahahaha!!!*


----------



## Dupontster

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 121435


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Dupontster

Now here's one you have to think about. Not giving it away but will give hint..


----------



## RoseRed

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 121435



Is it named Helen & Keller?


----------



## Gilligan




----------



## Gilligan

Dupontster said:


> ...


----------



## Gilligan




----------



## Bonehead

I love this thread....I know it is supposed to be tread..


----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## gemma_rae




----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## Gilligan

Dupontster said:


> ...


----------



## Gilligan




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## GWguy

Gilligan said:


> View attachment 121572



No one expected......   the inquisition.


----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 121575



*doublegroan*


----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## gemma_rae




----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Dupontster

...,


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## FireBrand




----------



## RareBreed

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 121643





jazz lady said:


> View attachment 121644



I was a little lost on these two the first time I read them. Once I sounded out the right word, I got it.


----------



## jazz lady

RareBreed said:


> I was a little lost on these two the first time I read them. Once I sounded out the right word, I got it.



That is what makes them so delicious. Going from "WTF?" to "Ah ha!"


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Gilligan

oh help me...


----------



## jazz lady

Gilligan said:


> oh help me...



Too bad...


----------



## jazz lady

Gilligan said:


> oh help me...



Or maybe...


----------



## jazz lady

Gilligan said:


> oh help me...



Then there's this...


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## GWguy

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 121660



This joke isn't funny if you're from the NorthEast....   '"Soda", goes the Weasel' just doesn't sound right.....


----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> Or maybe...
> 
> View attachment 121658



What's worse?...that pun, or the fact that I "got it"?


----------



## gemma_rae

My sister bought these for her boyfriend because he just couldn't resistor.


----------



## GWguy

gemma_rae said:


> My sister bought these for her boyfriend because he just couldn't resistor.
> View attachment 121665



He must have a very high capacity for her.


----------



## Gilligan

GWguy said:


> He must have a very high capacity for her.
> View attachment 121666



But the relationship became polarized when he got caught with her transistor.


----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## mAlice

...


----------



## RoseRed

mAlice said:


> ...



WTF!?!


----------



## mAlice

RoseRed said:


> WTF!?!


...[video=youtube;jdiB3cISeBk]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdiB3cISeBk[/video]


----------



## RoseRed

mAlice said:


> ...[video=youtube;jdiB3cISeBk]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdiB3cISeBk[/video]



PERFECT!!!


----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## Gilligan




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Gilligan

Gawd...I'm dyin' heah...


----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady

Gilligan said:


> Gawd...I'm dyin' heah...


----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady

*For Gilligan...*


----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 121744



lmao!!


----------



## Gilligan

I'm on a nerdy pun mission...


----------



## FireBrand




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## mAlice

...


----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 121758



we need a "holding its nose" emoji...


----------



## jazz lady

Gilligan said:


> Where's a "smiley holding it's nose" emoticon when you need one?  ;-p





Gilligan said:


> we need a "holding its nose" emoji...



Repeat yourself much?


----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> Repeat yourself much?



Alzheimers...it's got a grip on me... ;-p


----------



## Gilligan




----------



## RareBreed

....


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Gilligan




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 121773



da furk??


----------



## luvmygdaughters

The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.


----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## Gilligan

Lolololol.....I just read that one to my wife. I thought her eyes were going to roll right out of her head


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## Gilligan




----------



## Gilligan




----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 121807


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## GWguy

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 121837



How apropos, considering it's Pi Day.  Happy Pi Day!


----------



## jazz lady

GWguy said:


> How apropos, considering it's Pi Day.  Happy Pi Day!



I kinda knew that already.


----------



## Gilligan




----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## Gilligan




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Gilligan

PI day = nerd day.


----------



## jazz lady

Gilligan said:


> PI day = nerd day.



In my element.


----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> In my element.
> 
> View attachment 121860


----------



## gemma_rae




----------



## jazz lady

Beware the Ides of March.


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 121872


----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 121885


----------



## Kyle

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 121885


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Kyle

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 121890



Well he DID turn on the red lights!  :shrug:


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 121896


----------



## gemma_rae




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Kyle

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 121969


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Dupontster

Would this be considered a pun or a truth?


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Gilligan




----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## This_person




----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## gary_webb

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 122006



Electrician with an English accent, aye?


----------



## gary_webb

My Buddy said his mother's daughter has started wearing his clothes. I just looked at him and said 'Transistor'


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## gary_webb




----------



## gary_webb

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 122022



You'll know when the tide is up because it's


----------



## GWguy

gary_webb said:


> You'll know when the tide is up because it's
> View attachment 122028



What does a frog say when stuck in the mud?

knee-deep
knee-deep


----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Kyle




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady

Oldie but a goodie...


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## jazz lady

Dupontster said:


> ...


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Gilligan




----------



## jazz lady

Gilligan said:


> View attachment 122308



Quit stealing my jokes from FB!  lol


----------



## RoseRed

jazz lady said:


> Quit stealing my jokes from FB!  lol


----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> Quit stealing my jokes from FB!  lol



Who?...meeee?  :battingeyes:


----------



## jazz lady

Before Gilligan can "borrow" this...


----------



## Gilligan

muah ha ha haaa


----------



## RoseRed

Gilligan said:


> muah ha ha haaa
> 
> View attachment 122321



ISWYDT!


----------



## RareBreed

...


----------



## jazz lady

Gilligan said:


> muah ha ha haaa
> 
> 
> View attachment 122321



Two can play this game.


----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> Two can play this game.
> 
> View attachment 122327



Meh..already seen that one.


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 122335



;-)


----------



## Gilligan

Can't top this one....


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 122363



Shew. Even I wouldn't steal that one.


----------



## jazz lady

Gilligan said:


> Shew. Even I wouldn't steal that one.


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Gilligan




----------



## luvmygdaughters

A patient bursts into a doctor’s office, "Doctor, I believe I'm a deck of cards!" 

The doctor calmly replies, "Go sit in the waiting room, please, I'll be dealing with you later."


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Kyle




----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 122439


----------



## FireBrand




----------



## GWguy

Sung to "That's Amore"

When a green spotted eel
Bites your friend on the heel,

That's.......  a moray.


----------



## Gilligan

I need to go away and never come back.  ;-p

Say..Gee Dubya...what you doing inside on a Slingshot driving day like this??


----------



## GWguy

Gilligan said:


> I need to go away and never come back.  ;-p
> 
> Say..Gee Dubya...what you doing inside on a Slingshot driving day like this??



Strict bedrest, no exertion.  Doc's orders.


----------



## Gilligan

GWguy said:


> Strict bedrest, no exertion.  Doc's orders.



Well crap.  Barely getting around myself..but after two rounds of cortisone shots in the old hip, I'm on the mend. As soon as I can actually swing a leg over the saddle, I'm taking the Harley out. 

Gettin' old is hell.


----------



## GWguy

Gilligan said:


> Gettin' old is hell.



Yup.  That's why we have pun-isments to laugh about.


----------



## Gilligan

GWguy said:


> Yup.  That's why we have pun-isments to laugh about.



But some of them are so bad..  ;-p

Like that one.


----------



## GWguy




----------



## GWguy




----------



## Gilligan




----------



## Gilligan




----------



## Gilligan




----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## RoseRed

Dupontster said:


> ...



Is that how it works?


----------



## GWguy

RoseRed said:


> Is that how it works?



You were at the meeting, did you learn nothing??


----------



## RoseRed

GWguy said:


> You were at the meeting, did you learn nothing??



Evidently not.


----------



## Gilligan




----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## Monello

RoseRed said:


> Is that how it works?



Too late?


----------



## Gilligan




----------



## RoseRed

Gilligan said:


> View attachment 122550


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady

Thanks RoseRed!


----------



## jazz lady

Gilligan?


----------



## RoseRed

jazz lady said:


> Thanks RoseRed!   <img src="https://forums.somd.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=122555"/>


----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> Gilligan?
> 
> View attachment 122556



wuht?


----------



## Miker/t




----------



## Gilligan

Miker/t said:


> View attachment 122558


----------



## Miker/t




----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## FireBrand

Dupontster said:


> ...


----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## FireBrand




----------



## luvmygdaughters

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work!


----------



## Gilligan




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Kyle

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 122636


----------



## Gilligan




----------



## Monello




----------



## Gilligan




----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## FireBrand




----------



## RoseRed

FireBrand said:


> View attachment 122736



OMG!!!


----------



## mAlice

FireBrand said:


> View attachment 122736



lolz


----------



## jazz lady

Hey Gilligan!


----------



## Gilligan

Being exposed to these twice in the same day should be some kind of crime...


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Gilligan




----------



## FireBrand




----------



## Gilligan

Took me a sec.....  ;-p


----------



## stgislander

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 122738



Isn't that Lindsey Vonn?


----------



## Gilligan

stgislander said:


> Isn't that Lindsey Vonn?



Can't be. The pun wouldn't work.

;-p


----------



## Bonehead

FireBrand said:


> View attachment 122775



Protractor nice ! Maybe old enough to get it younger people would not.


----------



## Gilligan

Midget psychic escaped from jail-- local headline read *Small medium at large*


----------



## Gilligan




----------



## RoseRed

Gilligan said:


> View attachment 122786



So much wrong...


----------



## Gilligan




----------



## Kyle

Gilligan said:


> View attachment 122786



Looks like a Norwegian Blue.

Beautiful plumage.


----------



## FireBrand

Gilligan said:


> View attachment 122786


----------



## SamSpade

Gilligan said:


> View attachment 122786


----------



## GWguy

Why does Snoop Dogg need an umbrella?


Fo drizzle.


----------



## Gilligan

GWguy said:


> Why does Snoop Dogg need an umbrella?
> 
> 
> Fo drizzle.


----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## Miker/t




----------



## Dupontster

Fyi


----------



## FireBrand

Dupontster said:


> Fyi


----------



## Dupontster

On my way out this afternoon. I stopped by my boss's office and his door was open so I stuck my head in and said "Hey, just heard some breaking news. They aren't making yardsticks any longer" Then I just walked away.. Waited about 30 seconds and went back to see his reaction. He was just sitting there with a puzzled look on his face. Then all of a sudden he broke out laughing.. Had to think about it for a few seconds.. For a few he thought I had some breaking news.


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Kyle




----------



## Gilligan

Kyle said:


> View attachment 122900



*groansloudly*


----------



## GWguy

Kyle said:


> View attachment 122900



...and the chicks were free?


----------



## mAlice

...


----------



## GWguy

mAlice said:


> ...


----------



## FireBrand

mAlice said:


> ...


----------



## Kyle




----------



## Gilligan

Kyle said:


> View attachment 122924



In my best Beavis.."I uhuh..uhuh..get it..snork snork"


----------



## Kyle

Gilligan said:


> In my best Beavis.."I uhuh..uhuh..get it..snork snork"



Every post can't be Shakespeare.  :shrug:


----------



## RoseRed

Kyle said:


> View attachment 122924


----------



## Gilligan




----------



## RoseRed

Gilligan said:


> View attachment 122925


----------



## Bann

Gilligan said:


> View attachment 122925


----------



## Miker/t




----------



## Gilligan




----------



## Gilligan

This one's for Hank. ;-p


----------



## Gilligan

muah ha ha haa


----------



## Gilligan




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Gilligan

oh no...you di'nt...


----------



## jazz lady

Gilligan said:


> oh no...you di'nt...


----------



## Monello




----------



## Gilligan

Monello said:


> View attachment 123001





This could get ugly early...


----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Kyle

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 123080


----------



## Gilligan

We need a smiley that is holding its nose.....


----------



## RoseRed




----------



## Kyle

You can get a new one free when you buy a bottle of blinker fluid.


----------



## RoseRed

Kyle said:


> You can get a new one free when you buy a bottle of blinker fluid.



Of course you can!


----------



## Dupontster

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 123080



Dayumn, I had to read this one a couple times before I got it.


----------



## gemma_rae

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison
 was a small medium at large.


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 123130



Argh.


----------



## jazz lady

Gilligan said:


> Argh.


----------



## RoseRed

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 123130


----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 123131



Piling on..you show no mercy. ;-)


----------



## jazz lady

Gilligan said:


> Piling on..you show no mercy. ;-)


----------



## Bann

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 123131


----------



## Kyle




----------



## Kyle

A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut a tree

When he got there, he started to swing at a tree when it suddenly shouted, “Wait! I’m a talking tree!”

The lumberjack laughed and said, “And you will dialogue.”


----------



## jazz lady

Kyle said:


> A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut a tree
> 
> When he got there, he started to swing at a tree when it suddenly shouted, “Wait! I’m a talking tree!”
> 
> The lumberjack laughed and said, “And you will dialogue.”



Really, Kyle?  I just posted that yesterday.


----------



## Kyle

:my bad:

posting from phone.


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## FireBrand




----------



## FireBrand




----------



## FireBrand




----------



## FireBrand




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## RoseRed

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 123251



:snort:


----------



## Gilligan




----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 123233



:holdingmynose:


----------



## jazz lady

Gilligan said:


> :holdingmynose:


----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 123253


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 123318


----------



## Gilligan




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Kyle

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 123403



All your Base are belong to Uranium sulfide?


----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 123401



vewwy funny


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## RoseRed

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 123448



:groan:


----------



## Gilligan




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Kyle

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 123502


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Gilligan




----------



## Gilligan




----------



## Gilligan




----------



## Gilligan




----------



## Gilligan




----------



## jazz lady

Gilligan said:


> View attachment 123522





Gilligan said:


> View attachment 123527





Gilligan said:


> View attachment 123528





Gilligan said:


> View attachment 123535



  If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.    Welcome to the dark side!


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## RoseRed

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 123619



Where is my addition of "Yellow River" by I.P. Freely?


----------



## jazz lady

RoseRed said:


> Where is my addition of "Yellow River" by I.P. Freely?



Waiting for you to add it.


----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 123618



Oh dear....


----------



## Kyle




----------



## Gilligan

Kyle said:


> View attachment 123643


----------



## Gilligan




----------



## GWguy

Gilligan said:


> View attachment 123674


----------



## jazz lady

House it feel to be Home Alone, little fella?


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Dupontster

...


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Gilligan

Noooooooooooooo0000000


----------



## jazz lady

Gilligan said:


> Noooooooooooooo0000000



Give it a whey, give it a whey, give it a whey now....


----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> Give it a whey, give it a whey, give it a whey now....





You win.


That one.


----------



## jazz lady

Gilligan said:


> You win.
> 
> 
> That one.


----------



## Gilligan




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Kyle

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 123935


----------



## Gilligan




----------



## Gilligan




----------



## Gilligan




----------



## Gilligan




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 123998


----------



## jazz lady

*And I raise you...*



Gilligan said:


> View attachment 124000


----------



## Gilligan

Stealing all of those!


----------



## Kyle




----------



## Gilligan

I think I'm being punished for something I did in another life or something....Jazz torments me with those terrible puns on my FB page too....


----------



## Kyle

Gilligan said:


> I think I'm being punished for something I did in another life or something....Jazz torments me with those terrible puns on my FB page too....



thats terrible. 

She posts ecoupons for free beer on mine. :shrug:


----------



## jazz lady

Gilligan said:


> I think I'm being punished for something I did in another life or something....Jazz torments me with those terrible puns on my FB page too....



Ah, the gift of being able to tag people.  Bwahahaha!!!  



Kyle said:


> She posts ecoupons for free beer on mine. :shrug:



That's because I like you and you drink REAL beer.


----------



## jazz lady

Kyle said:


> View attachment 124004


----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> That's because I like you and you drink REAL beer.



Oh, wow..that cut deep. I may not even survive that one.  Send a search party if you haven't seen me post in a few days..


----------



## jazz lady

*Just checking...*



Gilligan said:


> Oh, wow..that cut deep. I may not even survive that one.  Send a search party if you haven't seen me post in a few days..


----------



## Kyle

:groan:


----------



## jazz lady

Kyle said:


> :groan:



They all can't be winners.


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## GWguy

jazz lady said:


> They all can't be wieners.
> 
> View attachment 124040



:fixed:


----------



## jazz lady

GWguy said:


> :fixed:


----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 124043


----------



## Kyle

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 124043


----------



## Gilligan




----------



## RoseRed

Gilligan said:


> View attachment 124054


----------



## jazz lady

Gilligan said:


> View attachment 124054


----------



## Gilligan

Pfffbbbttt...

And meanwhile...


----------



## RoseRed

Gilligan said:


> Pfffbbbttt...
> 
> And meanwhile...
> 
> View attachment 124056


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 124082



Ow..ow..ow!  There it is..worst one yet....:-(


----------



## RoseRed

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 124081


Rainbow?


----------



## jazz lady

RoseRed said:


> Rainbow?



No doubt.    As long as it's not raspberry.


----------



## jazz lady

Gilligan said:


> Ow..ow..ow!  There it is..worst one yet....:-(



Yet...being the operative word.


----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> Yet...being the operative word.


----------



## jazz lady

Gilligan said:


>


----------



## Bann

Gilligan said:


> View attachment 123930


----------



## Bann

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 123933


----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 124101
> 
> 
> View attachment 124102
> 
> 
> View attachment 124103


. Ok....ok..ok....it's time to escalate...


----------



## FireBrand




----------



## FireBrand




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Miker/t




----------



## jazz lady

Probably a repeat, but it still makes me laugh.


----------



## Kyle




----------



## luvmygdaughters

ISWYDT


----------



## Kyle




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady

@kwillia    An oldie but a goodie!


----------



## Kyle




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Toxick




----------



## jazz lady

This one took me a minute.


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## This_person




----------



## This_person




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady

Inconceivable!


----------



## Kyle




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Miker/t




----------



## This_person




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## RoseRed

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 140740


Just a flesh wound!


----------



## jazz lady

RoseRed said:


> Just a flesh wound!


Ni! Ni! Ni!


----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## jazz lady

One for @vraiblonde


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## This_person




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## GWguy

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 140773


He just looks board.... take him for a walk.


----------



## luvmygdaughters

A police officer just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. That’s ridiculous. My dogs don’t even own bikes


----------



## luvmygdaughters

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 140773


Hmmm...looks like he was barking up the wrong tree!!!


----------



## This_person




----------



## This_person




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady

@Gilligan


----------



## SamSpade

This_person said:


> View attachment 140850


Stale, mate?


----------



## buddscreek

Check, mate


----------



## DoWhat

buddscreek said:


> Check, mate


No.


----------



## SamSpade

DoWhat said:


> No.


That’s right. King is not in check.
If white is finishing his move - it’s a stalemate.
Black has no move and is not in check.


----------



## This_person

SamSpade said:


> If white is finishing his move



White is moving from the brown square to the check position, immediately towards the black king.


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## SamSpade

This_person said:


> White is moving from the brown square to the check position, immediately towards the black king.


That's illegal in chess.


----------



## Kyle

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 140907


----------



## ifxtrks

SamSpade said:


> That's illegal in chess.


what part is illegal ? The queen moving in any one direction as far as she wants to in any direction as long as there is nothing in the way, or moving to a brown square?


----------



## jazz lady

Don't worry...


----------



## SamSpade

Sorry it looked like a white KING. Most times a king has a cross on the crown. If white is moving a queen it’s checkmate. If it’s a king it’s an illegal move and if it’s a king and it’s black’s move it’s stalemate.


----------



## jazz lady

ENOUGH!  It is a white QUEEN moving into the checkmate position (see the differences in the top) and y'all need your eyes checked.


----------



## SamSpade

jazz lady said:


> ENOUGH!  It is a white QUEEN moving into the checkmate position (see the differences in the top) and y'all need your eyes checked.
> 
> View attachment 140929


You’re right - I do. Eyesight sucks.


----------



## jrt_ms1995

SamSpade said:


> You’re right - I do. Eyesight sucks.


Hey, I thought it was a king as well. Of course, I'm old (though it's not my birthday), too!


----------



## This_person

jrt_ms1995 said:


> Hey, I thought it was a king as well. Of course, I'm old (though it's not my birthday), too!


I thought it was too.  I just looked at it as a joke.


----------



## GWguy

jazz lady said:


> ENOUGH!  It is a white QUEEN moving into the checkmate position (see the differences in the top) and y'all need your eyes checked.


I wouldn't know one from the other.  Don't play chess, never learned.


----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> Don't worry...
> 
> View attachment 140922


No. Just...nope.


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## This_person




----------



## This_person




----------



## luvmygdaughters

This_person said:


> View attachment 141009


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## This_person




----------



## This_person




----------



## This_person




----------



## Xbox360

Whats the Master Chiefs least favorite disaster?

Floods.

bwaaa ha ha.


----------



## Kyle




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady

Thank you, @Gilligan


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## This_person




----------



## This_person




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Grumpy

...


----------



## DoWhat

Grumpy said:


> ...
> View attachment 142006


I don't get it.


----------



## jazz lady

DoWhat said:


> I don't get it.


----------



## DoWhat

DoWhat said:


> I don't get it.


Never mind, I was spacing out.


----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## Yooper

Was this already posted? Oops, sorry, if so.

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## Yooper

Abbreviations:

1. ARBITRATOR: A cook who leaves Arby’s to work at McDonalds

2. AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tries to do

3. BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage

4. BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with

5. CONTROL: A short, ugly inmate

6. COUNTERFEITERS: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets

7. ECLIPSE: What an English barber does for a living

8. EYEDROPPER: A clumsy ophthalmologist

9. HEROES: What a guy in a boat does

10. LEFTBANK: What the robber did when his bag was full of money

11. MISTY: How golfers create divots

12. PARADOX: Two physicians!

13. PARASITES: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower

14. PHARMACIST: A helper on the farm

15. POLARIZE: What penguins live on

16. PRIMATE: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV!

17. RELIEF: What trees do in the spring

18. RUBBERNECK: What you do to relax your wife

19. SELFISH: What the owner of a seafood store does

20. SUDAFED: Brought litigation against a government official!

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## jazz lady

@Gilligan


----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 145250
> 
> 
> @Gilligan


----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 145250
> 
> 
> @Gilligan



I swear you torment me on porpoise.


----------



## jazz lady

Gilligan said:


> I swear you torment me on porpoise.


I just do it for the halibut.


----------



## Gilligan

OK..OK..enough fish puns...need to scale it back a bit.


----------



## jazz lady

Gilligan said:


> OK..OK..enough fish puns...need to scale it back a bit.


Yes, because it's time to......…..


----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## itsbob

Timely..


----------



## Yooper

And one more:





--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## Yooper

Continuing the series (from #855, above):





--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## Miker/t




----------



## jazz lady

Just allergies, I swear!


----------



## jazz lady

From my sister. She knows me well.


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady

Take yours for a walk today!


----------



## Kyle




----------



## Yooper

Kyle said:


> View attachment 147421


We need a "groan" button! 

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Grumpy




----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady

@Gilligan just LOVED this one.


----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> @Gilligan just LOVED this one.
> 
> View attachment 147713


I'm cursed...


----------



## jazz lady

Gilligan said:


> I'm cursed...


True.  And it's coming.  Only 7.8 billion to go!


----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## jazz lady

(I stole this back after @Gilligan stole it from me.)


----------



## Gilligan

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 147833
> 
> 
> (I stole this back after @Gilligan stole it from me.)



Borrowing without permission is not the same as stealing....


----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## Miker/t




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## Kyle

Metro Gnome


----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## Kyle




----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## Miker/t




----------



## Miker/t




----------



## Miker/t




----------



## Kyle




----------



## Sneakers

Kyle said:


> View attachment 149801


----------



## Kyle




----------



## Grumpy




----------



## Kyle




----------



## Yooper

Here's my :






--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## jazz lady

And happy third birthday to my thread.


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## Yooper

And a movie reference!

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## Yooper

And one more:





--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## GopherM

The worst pub I've ever been in was called The Fiddle.
It was a vile inn.


----------



## Kyle

GopherM said:


> The worst pub I've ever been in was called The Fiddle.
> It was a vile inn.


----------



## luvmygdaughters

Kyle said:


>


----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Miker/t




----------



## RoseRed

Miker/t said:


> View attachment 151545


Does the Otter approve ?


----------



## gemma_rae

RoseRed said:


> Does the Otter approve ?


I put their fathers in my freezer, Otter Pops are my favorite!


----------



## gemma_rae

jazz lady said:


> View attachment 151515


Those chicken seeds should be ready about the same time as the


----------



## Kyle

Accidentally mixed up my Binaca and travel size body spray.

Now I speak with an Axe scent.


----------



## Gilligan

Kyle said:


> Accidentally mixed up my Binaca and travel size body spray.
> 
> Now I speak with an Axe scent.


----------



## Miker/t




----------



## jrt_ms1995

Miker/t said:


> View attachment 151631


Where's Neil?


----------



## DaSDGuy




----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## DaSDGuy




----------



## Yooper

DaSDGuy said:


> View attachment 151791


Okay, I give up. Nothing's coming to me....

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## DaSDGuy

Yooper said:


> Okay, I give up. Nothing's coming to me....
> 
> --- End of line (MCP)


It's chili outside.


----------



## Monello




----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## limblips

In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain. However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.


----------



## Miker/t




----------



## GopherM

I had a friend who loved carpentry. His pride and joy was his wood lathe. He died recently and his family didn't know what to do with it so they buried the lathe with him. If he knew what they had done he would be turning in his grave.


----------



## Sneakers

limblips said:


> In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain. However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.


  Took me forever to pronounce that as I V and not 4.


----------



## Miker/t




----------



## Kyle




----------



## Miker/t




----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## Kyle




----------



## Grumpy




----------



## Sneakers

Grumpy said:


> View attachment 153276


----------



## DaSDGuy




----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## Miker/t




----------



## Miker/t




----------



## Kyle




----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## stgislander

Yooper said:


> View attachment 154086
> 
> 
> --- End of line (MCP)


And they're singing a cantata at that.


----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## Miker/t




----------



## Kyle

I've had that song in my head for over an hour already!


----------



## Miker/t




----------



## Miker/t




----------



## Kyle




----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## Kyle




----------



## stgislander

Kyle said:


> View attachment 155347


That's Gumby.  Pokey's a....  Oh well, we better not go there.


----------



## Kyle




----------



## Ken King




----------



## Yooper

--- End of line (MCP)


----------



## Miker/t




----------



## jazz lady

For @UglyBear


----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## jazz lady




----------



## DaSDGuy




----------



## Kyle




----------



## Kyle




----------



## Monello

Kyle said:


> View attachment 155773


You wanna bet he worked for the government?


----------



## gemma_rae




----------



## Kyle




----------



## Grumpy




----------



## Kyle

I may be infected.


----------



## DaSDGuy




----------



## Kyle




----------



## Clem72

Grumpy said:


> View attachment 156116



That's definitely Aunt Nelda in the upper right corner.


----------



## DaSDGuy




----------



## Kyle




----------



## RoseRed

Kyle said:


> View attachment 156548


ICEMAKER!!!


----------



## Miker/t




----------



## limblips




----------



## Gilligan

^ _groansloudly_


----------



## Kyle




----------



## Kyle




----------



## Kyle




----------



## Miker/t




----------



## Kyle




----------



## Kyle




----------



## Sneakers

Did you hear about the plant that identified as a tree?





It was a transplant.


----------



## Kyle




----------



## Kyle




----------



## Miker/t




----------



## Miker/t




----------



## Kyle




----------



## Kyle




----------



## Miker/t




----------



## Kyle




----------



## Miker/t




----------



## Miker/t




----------



## Sneakers

Miker/t said:


> View attachment 161140


Well, well....  that's s deep subject.


----------



## Clem72

Miker/t said:


> View attachment 161140




Well now I have a new phobia


----------



## DaSDGuy

It's that time of year


----------



## Kyle




----------



## Sneakers

So... One of Captain Kirk's evil adversaries decided to open a Christmas store.  He called it....

The Wreath of Kahn.


----------



## stgislander




----------



## Kyle

As Picard would say... "Make it Snow!"


----------



## Miker/t




----------



## Kyle




----------



## Miker/t




----------



## gemma_rae

Miker/t said:


> View attachment 161259


Took a sec, but I got it.


----------



## Miker/t




----------



## Miker/t




----------



## DaSDGuy




----------



## Miker/t




----------



## DaSDGuy

Ground Beef


----------



## Miker/t




----------



## Kyle




----------



## DaSDGuy




----------



## Kyle




----------



## Kyle




----------



## Kyle




----------



## Kyle




----------



## DaSDGuy




----------



## UglyBear

An old timer is sitting on his porch, watching the street.  He sees young Timmy walking by with a roll of chicken wire. 
— Hey boy, whatcha doing with that chicken wire?— Well Mister, this here is “chicken” wire, I’m gonna get me some chickens with it!
— Ah boy, you are stupid! That’s not what it means!

Later that evening, Timmy is walking back, dragging chicken wire with several chickens tanged in it. Old timer is “Nah, he did that to fool me”.
The next morning, Old Timer sees young Timmy walking by with a roll of duck tape.

-Hey boy, what are you going to do with that duck tape?
-Well Mister, I’m gonna get me some ducks with it!

Later that evening, Timmy returns with several ducks stuck to the tape.
The next morning, Old Timer sees Timmy walking by with a bunch of pussy willow branches.

— Gosh darn it... Hey boy, wait for me, I’m gonna get my hat!


----------



## Miker/t




----------



## Kyle




----------



## DaSDGuy

WD


----------



## DaSDGuy

Dog the Bounty Hunter


----------



## Kyle




----------



## Miker/t




----------



## gemma_rae




----------



## gemma_rae

Hey @my-thyme


----------



## my-thyme

Hahaha. Thanks for that, I choose the name as a play on that......


----------



## rio

gemma_rae said:


> View attachment 163408


He looks so scared....like he's afraid he won't measure up.


----------



## Kyle




----------



## Kyle




----------



## Kyle




----------



## Kyle




----------



## Miker/t




----------



## stgislander

Miker/t said:


> View attachment 164522


----------



## Kyle




----------



## Miker/t




----------



## Miker/t




----------



## Kyle




----------



## Kyle




----------



## Miker/t




----------



## Kyle




----------



## Kyle




----------



## Kyle




----------

