# When do adults forget how to play?



## vraiblonde

The excuse is "Oh, I'm just so busy..."

No, you're not.  You spend hours sitting on the computer or in front of the TV every day.  It takes about an hour to hit a bucket of golf balls, three hours to actually play a round.  You could take two hours a week to paddle a kayak or shoot some hoops with pals.  Ride a bike.  Invite people over for drinks or game night.

So you're not "too busy", you just don't want to.  Why is that?  And when does it start?  Do you just get out of the habit once you have kids and never get back in?  I probably played more when my kids were young because we always had kick soccer going on in the front yard, building something, going skiing, rollerblading, or whatever it took to entertain them.

That slowed way down when I got married because my priorities changed and now I'm making a conscious effort to do something fun for play every day, even if it's just ride my bike around the 'hood.

It's like the people who say they "can't" come out to Friday Heathen Night:  too far to drive, too busy, blah blah blah.  Sometimes that will be true, but it cannot possibly be true EVERY Friday evening.  It's not that they can't, it's that they don't want to.  And that's fine if the company isn't to your liking, but if it's a group of people you may be interested in, why wouldn't you come have dinner and hang out?

That's only one example.  There are a million others when adults just forgot how to have fun or have lost their motivation to do so.  
*
So!  What have you done for fun so far this week, including last weekend? * Fun just for you, can involve other people or doesn't have to.  Running children to assorted activities doesn't count and neither does sitting at the computer or game console - you have to have actually moved your ass off the couch.


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## vraiblonde

Oh, and since I took up golf I've lost count of the number of women who've said to me, "I always wanted to do that!"  So what's the problem?  Let's go!  And they reply, "Oh, I don't have time...."  Yes, you do.  "I don't have clubs..."  You can use mine and we'll share.  "I don't know how to do it..."  That's what learning is for.

Stop saying you WANT to do something, and just go freaking DO it.


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## ftcret

3 hours to play around? I guess they do say to consult medical professionals at 4 hours...


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## JeJeTe

I think a lot of people are so devoted to their kids and their activities that they forget they are supposed to have a life too.


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## Sweet 16

I do this way too much, then complain that I never have any fun.  I don't know why thinking it and doing it are so far apart.  I had a lot of fun in my teens/twenties and usually did so without thinking about it.  But I also drank way more back then.


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## Misfit

vraiblonde said:


> *So!  What have you done for fun so far this week, including last weekend? * Fun just for you, can involve other people or doesn't have to.  Running children to assorted activities doesn't count and neither does sitting at the computer or game console - you have to have actually moved your ass off the couch.



I fixed up an old bicycle and took it for a ride Saturday. I like seeing how long I can peddle with my eyes closed. I'm up to 20 Mississippi’s before I get scared and open them....or crash.

I also wrote a song.


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## migtig

I think you have to realize that your idea of fun may not be the same as others' idea of fun. :shrug:

I took my husband to sit outside in the rain and watch a play and eat food and drink wine.  We gave up early and went home and sat on the porch and drink wine and smoked cigars and let our dogs wander around on the porch with us.  That was fun.  

We watched a couple of movies.  That was fun.  

I read a book.  Actually, since Friday, I've read several books.  That was fun.

I've cooked my husband meals and prepped his lunch for the week and that was fun. 

My husband made me a sandwich and that was fun (and remarkable).

I crocheted and that was fun.  

I napped and that was more than fun. 

I have plans to do some sewing this week and that will be fun.  

We have plans to go to the comic book store and that is always fun.  

We have our very own putting green in the yard (my husband made that), so we can go hit balls any time we want.  I agree that's fun.  

But, my idea of fun is boring you to tears and your idea of fun makes me anxious.


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## Pete

Want to buy a boat?


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## glhs837

Well, I suppose fiddling with making a jogging stroller into a bike trailer for my kayak, or designing a fermentation chamber for homebrew counts? Hope so. Plan to kayak this weekend. Since my time playing a video game doesn't count, I hope those others do. Playing ball with the dog? 

I do agree, playing is crucial to happiness. But play being different for different people, thats important to note too.


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## libertytyranny

JeJeTe said:


> I think a lot of people are so devoted to their kids and their activities that they forget they are supposed to have a life too.



:yeathat:


And I think it is a far better service to your child and a better example to have your own activities as well. You will be happier, and they have a good example for work /life balance to look up to. Not to mention its good sometimes for kids to see they are NOT the center of the universe and end all be all.


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## bcp

> It's like the people who say they "can't" come out to Friday Heathen Night: too far to drive, too busy, blah blah blah. Sometimes that will be true, but it cannot possibly be true EVERY Friday evening. It's not that they can't, it's that they don't want to. And that's fine if the company isn't to your liking, but if it's a group of people you may be interested in, why wouldn't you come have dinner and hang out?


 We would love to be able to show up every Friday, however, with panlady working in Bethesda, she has to take off a few hours early to fight the Friday traffic (should be much less after this weekend) around the beltway and down rt 50, then its usually a drive down 2/4 with that traffic to get there.
 if she leaves work at 2:30, she is pretty much on the road non stop until we show up at the get together around 5:30 or 6. 

 For the next couple weeks Im working till 5 on fridays, so by the time I get home, then down to Southern Md, it would be closer to 7 before getting there.

 Some Fridays are good, some are not.

 as far as having them up this way, its nice, but the reality is that it does not make much sense for 10 people to drive for over an hour in traffic to make it so the  1 person only has to drive 15 minutes.

 When we dont show up, we are not snubbing anyone.


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## vraiblonde

migtig said:


> But, my idea of fun is boring you to tears and your idea of fun makes me anxious.



People have different ideas of what they consider "fun".  But, a distinction:  while packing your husband's lunch and reading may be enjoyable and pleasurable, I'm not sure they fall in the category of "fun".  You are not a person who likes to have fun, but you also don't sit around moaning about it and saying you want to do things that you have no intention of actually doing.



Pete said:


> Want to buy a boat?



THIS is the #### I'm talking about.  ^^^^  This RIGHT HERE.  ^^^



glhs837 said:


> Well, I suppose fiddling with making a jogging stroller into a bike trailer for my kayak, or designing a fermentation chamber for homebrew counts?


Those absolutely count  

Hobbies.  Activities.  Whatever they are.  Packing lunches is not a hobby.


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## ftcret

vraiblonde said:


> Hobbies.  Activities.  Whatever they are.  Packing lunches is not a hobby.



What if you pack lunches as if you are playing Tetris?


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## migtig

vraiblonde said:


> People have different ideas of what they consider "fun".  But, a distinction:  while packing your husband's lunch and reading may be enjoyable and pleasurable, I'm not sure they fall in the category of "fun".  You are not a person who likes to have fun, but you also don't sit around moaning about it and saying you want to do things that you have no intention of actually doing.
> 
> 
> 
> THIS is the #### I'm talking about.  ^^^^  This RIGHT HERE.  ^^^
> 
> 
> Those absolutely count
> 
> Hobbies.  Activities.  Whatever they are.  Packing lunches is not a hobby.



  You haven't had a lunch I've packed.  

Yes, indeed it is a hobby.  And it's fun.  I've even been approached by his co-workers who have said how envious they are of his lunches and how they approach him each day to see what was packed.   

Reading and cooking are always listed in hobbies and interests categories. 


And again, just because you don't like my idea of fun, doesn't mean I don't like to have fun.  I like to have my version of fun.  Not your version of fun.  

No need to insult me.


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## JeJeTe

Organizing my often busy life is fun for me.  I enjoy getting things straight and feeling like I have my life together.  Because when my life is together and something fun does come up, then I have the ability to go do it instead of sitting home doing laundry.


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## ftcret

I collect chain restaurants.


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## Misfit

JeJeTe said:


> Organizing my often busy life is fun for me.  I enjoy getting things straight and feeling like I have my life together.



If you have some free time could you get my life together too?


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## StadEMS3

Make time for yourselves people! Who wants to be on their death bed saying I wish I had....? Hell, I'm pushing 50 and party harder than some 20-30 yr olds. Tomorrow we're going to the Nats game to watch The Red Rocker (Sammy Hagar) post game show.


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## JeJeTe

Misfit said:


> If you have some free time could you get my life together too?



No, but I can tell you how too.  If I did for you, that'd be enabling.  And I already enable enough of your weirdness.


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## migtig

JeJeTe said:


> No, but I can tell you how too.  If I did for you, that'd be enabling.  And I already enable enough of your weirdness.



  Oh, hold on.  Wait.  Poor Misfit.


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## molly_21

JeJeTe said:


> I think a lot of people are so devoted to their kids and their activities that they forget they are supposed to have a life too.



Agreed.  I have alot of friends who complain that now their kids are out of the house they have nothing to do (and their kids left 2/3 years ago mind you).  I think people today use their kids as an excuse to not do something. 

My parents always made time for themselves too, even when me and my brother where kids.  They had a group of friend and neighbours that would swap out baby sitting duties or we would stay with friends if they wanted to get away once in a while or just for the evening out and vice versa. Of course the older we got the easier it was for them to get away, LOL!!  Not really sure people do that nowadays.


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## GURPS

vraiblonde said:


> The excuse is "Oh, I'm just so busy..."
> 
> No, you're not.  You spend hours sitting on the computer or in front of the TV every day.  It takes about an hour to hit a bucket of golf balls, three hours to actually play a round.  You could take two hours a week to paddle a kayak or shoot some hoops with pals.  Ride a bike.  Invite people over for drinks or game night.



pffht .. sports never interested me .. 

I game on computers ..
 .... plenty of heart stopping action playing online death matches 


and from April - Nov I work weekends ...




 .... and I started the Friday Night Heathen get together ..

 ... it was all PsyOps and Pushrod;s fault


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## JeJeTe

molly_21 said:


> Agreed.  I have alot of friends who complain that now their kids are out of the house they have nothing to do (and their kids left 2/3 years ago mind you).  I think people today use their kids as an excuse to not do something.
> 
> My parents always made time for themselves too, even when me and my brother where kids.  They had a group of friend and neighbours that would swap out baby sitting duties or we would stay with friends if they wanted to get away once in a while or just for the evening out and vice versa. Of course the older we got the easier it was for them to get away, LOL!!  Not really sure people do that nowadays.



In todays society of being the overachieving parent, you are looked down upon if you have downtime because then your kid must not be involved enough activities or if you have outside interests then think of those poor kids at home.  Those kids who won't have their parent doting on their every move and pinning idea on Pinterest on how to savor every second of childhood.  Think of the children.


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## beachcat

So!  What have you done for fun so far this week, including last weekend? [/B] Fun just for you, can involve other people or doesn't have to.  Running children to assorted activities doesn't count and neither does sitting at the computer or game console - you have to have actually moved your ass off the couch.[/QUOTE]

kayaking last friday, hiking saturday, biking sunday, dog to the beach monday evening, hit some balls at malamar, gym.  oh yeah, there was naked twister in there somewhere..

i can't wait to retire.  i don't have time to work.


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## glhs837

JeJeTe said:


> In todays society of being the overachieving parent, you are looked down upon if you have downtime because then your kid must not be involved enough activities or if you have outside interests then think of those poor kids at home.  Those kids who won't have their parent doting on their every move and pinning idea on Pinterest on how to savor every second of childhood.  *Think of the children. *






The children? Those little people who live in the basement? I think they are moving out soon, I'll send them an email and check


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## Bird Dog

Pete said:


> Want to buy a boat?



That will always keep you busy.   
Worked on boat Saturday, fished on Sunday .

but....Vrai is right. Most people who say they do not have the time, do not want to make the time.

It is just an excuse


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## Chasey_Lane

If you pay attention to my FB posts, I'm always out and about doing something "fun."  Life is too short to sit at home and do nothing.  Get out and live life!!!


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## Bird Dog

Chasey_Lane said:


> If you pay attention to my FB posts, I'm always out and about doing something "fun."  Life is too short to sit at home and do nothing.  Get out and live life!!!



So you're one of those. The ones I put on ignore.
Anyone who posts more than once a day needs help


Way too much information


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## Chasey_Lane

JeJeTe said:


> In todays society of being the overachieving parent, you are looked down upon if you have downtime because then your kid must not be involved enough activities or if you have outside interests then think of those poor kids at home.  Those kids who won't have their parent doting on their every move and pinning idea on Pinterest on how to savor every second of childhood.  Think of the children.



Really?  I guess because my daughter is older (16) I haven't noticed.  Then again, I never gave two ####s about what anyone thought of me or her extra time.  Now, I do have people telling me *I* travel too much.


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## slotpuppy

Now that the kids are grown, the handler and I go to some M&G. We rides bikes, go to the gym, do movie nights and other assorted things like renfest. We used to have card nights with another couple but they moved away so we dont do that anymore.


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## Chasey_Lane

Bird Dog said:


> So you're one of those. The ones I put on ignore.
> Anyone who posts more than once a day needs help
> 
> 
> Way too much information



Or you are just jealous.  I have haters.  It's cool.


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## Chasey_Lane

slotpuppy said:


> We used to have card nights with another couple but they moved away so we dont do that anymore.



Me and a few neighbors are getting ready for card night soon.  Want an invite?


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## Bird Dog

Chasey_Lane said:


> Or you are just jealous.  I have haters.  It's cool.




No, just don't to put that much chit about my life out there.
Like here sometimes enough is enough.

Except for WR


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## RoseRed

Chasey_Lane said:


> Or you are just jealous.  I have haters.  It's cool.



My hobby is hating you because it is fun!


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## JeJeTe

Chasey_Lane said:


> Really?  I guess because my daughter is older (16) I haven't noticed.  Then again, I never gave two ####s about what anyone thought of me or her extra time.  Now, I do have people telling me *I* travel too much.



I think it's much more popular with parents of younger kids. Since Pinterest and shiat came along.  

My child is the best part of my life but it's still my life. I'm not going to be class mom, baked goods mom, or the Pinterest mom and I'm fine with that.


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## vraiblonde

migtig said:


> No need to insult me.



I did not mean to insult you at all.  That was meant as a compliment, that you do what you enjoy and don't complain about what you're not doing.


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## vraiblonde

StadEMS3 said:


> Make time for yourselves people! Who wants to be on their death bed saying I wish I had....?



This is what I was going for.


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## GWguy

Since last week, amongst other things....


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## slotpuppy

Chasey_Lane said:


> Me and a few neighbors are getting ready for card night soon.  Want an invite?



What kind of cards do you play?


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## RoseRed

GWguy said:


> Since last week, amongst other things....
> 
> View attachment 98524
> View attachment 98525
> View attachment 98526
> View attachment 98527





Where did you get that lounge chair?  I need a couple of those!


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## vraiblonde

Chasey_Lane said:


> Now, I do have people telling me *I* travel too much.



What in the hell could that mean?  Is it possible to travel too much???


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## GWguy

RoseRed said:


> Where did you get that lounge chair?  I need a couple of those!



Retirement gift.  Not sure where it came from.  It's called a zero gravity recliner, and boy is it ever comfortable.

Edit: found the tag, it's made by Alpine Design.  SKU 26128733, $60 retail.

Sports Authority has them, also online.
http://www.sportsauthority.com/search/index.jsp?kwCatId=&kw=zero gravity&origkw=zero+gravity&sr=1


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## Misfit

Chasey_Lane said:


> Me and a few neighbors are getting ready for card night soon.  Want an invite?





slotpuppy said:


> What kind of cards do you play?



Its strip poker slot, next week’s naked twister.


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## glhs837

vraiblonde said:


> What in the hell could that mean?  Is it possible to travel too much???



If it's without your spouse, oh yeah it is


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## Chasey_Lane

vraiblonde said:


> What in the hell could that mean?  Is it possible to travel too much???



No, it's not possible.  And tomorrow I leave on yet another adventure.


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## Chasey_Lane

slotpuppy said:


> What kind of cards do you play?



Texas Holdem mostly.


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## Chasey_Lane

RoseRed said:


> Where did you get that lounge chair?  I need a couple of those!


You can find them at Target/Walmart/K-Mart, etc.  I think Kohls, too.  They've been around for a few years.  Just have to find them on sale for a good price.


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## slotpuppy

Chasey_Lane said:


> Texas Holdem mostly.



We are not big holdem players. We are more pinochle or spades. Thanks for the offer though.


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## Misfit

slotpuppy said:


> We are not big holdem players. We are more pinochle or spades. Thanks for the offer though.



Snooty Poodle


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## BadGirl

I like my life.  No, I LOVE my life.

I feel like I am consistently busy, mostly doing stuff that I want to do and enjoy doing.  It's probably not very exciting to a vast majority of people, but it suits me just fine.

Actually, I have some days - mostly on the weekends - where I want to say "hey, can just have one freakin' day to do absolutely nothing?  Why must I have to be 'doing something' all of the freakin' time?"

I cook, I can, I enjoy mowing grass, I actually like keeping a tidy home (although I'm slacking in that department lately  ), and mostly, I just love being with my family.


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## GURPS

GWguy said:


> Since last week, amongst other things....





old folks sitting around a fire drinking coco ..... 

j/k



looks like fun


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## Toxick

I am a responsible adult, and as such I have no time for games.


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## wharf rat

"Actually, I have some days - mostly on the weekends - where I want to say "hey, can just have one freakin' day to do absolutely nothing?  Why must I have to be 'doing something' all of the freakin' time?"



That's me too. Only, it's those days that turn out to be the most interesting sometimes. I just can't sit still for very long. 
Lately, I've been tying a raccoon tail to a fly rod and beagle fishing off the porch for evening fun. They love it and we enjoy their antics.
Late nights you can usually find me strumming something. I need that time for my own sanity.


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## RoseRed

Toxick said:


> I am a responsible adult, and as such I have no time for games.



Not even nekkid twister?


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## Christy

Chasey_Lane said:


> No, it's not possible. And tomorrow I leave on yet another adventure.


 
I LOVE when you travel. I get to live vicariously through you. 

Lots of pictures woman lots of pictures!


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## Christy

RoseRed said:


> Not even nekkid twister?


 
You were part of my fun this week.  What happens at Tiki stays at Tiki   Unless of course I post it all over fb.


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## Chasey_Lane

Christy said:


> I LOVE when you travel. I get to live vicariously through you.
> 
> Lots of pictures woman lots of pictures!



I love when I travel, too!    And you know I'm good for pictures.


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## RoseRed

Christy said:


> You were part of my fun this week.  What happens at Tiki stays at Tiki   Unless of course I post it all over fb.



  We did have fun.  And no one broke any bones!


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## my-thyme

Used to be that when someone said "Let's go for a ride", my reply was "gotta get this house clean". Now I'm quick to get the bike started up - life is too short to spend it all cleaning house!

Just this weekend, my 22-yr-old son said  "Why did we quit playing cards on Sat nights?"

So, card night starts again this weekend. There are so many of us now, what with the kids spouses/SO, we may need two tables going.

And you know what feels good? That my 22-yr-old wants to spend time with the family.


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## GURPS

my-thyme said:


> And you know what feels good? That my 22-yr-old wants to spend time with the family.








I am finding children eventually come around ... realizing their parents weren't so bad


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## desertrat

RoseRed said:


> Where did you get that lounge chair?  I need a couple of those!



Had one, but I don't know where it went, it was nice.



Chasey_Lane said:


> No, it's not possible.  And tomorrow I leave on yet another adventure.



You should be a cruise director and change your name to Julie.


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## RoseRed

desertrat said:


> You should be a cruise director and change your name to Julie.


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## migtig

desertrat said:


> Had one, but I don't know where it went, it was nice.
> .


You gave it to GWGuy as a retirement gift.


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## Chasey_Lane

desertrat said:


> You should be a cruise director and change your name to Julie.



I'm not going on a cruise.  That was back in March.


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## Toxick

RoseRed said:


> Not even nekkid twister?






Ok. Maybe nekkid twister.


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## chuckster

My wife and I met our daughter and some friends at Kings Dominion on Tuesday. Took the day off from work to have some fun time with my family. I think we rode every roller coaster that the park had, some twice. It was great to forget about work and just have fun. Looking forward to doing it again soon


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## Bann

I do have the Things and all the stuff I do for them, but I also have a life of my own. I go to the gym, which might not be some one else's idea of fun - but I enjoy it.  I also have nights out with friends and nights out with the FH. 

I was way more wrapped up in the Things' activities until I made friends with single people on the forums.  Since then - I've done tons of things without them.  Thanks to Vrai, I even had a girls' weekend in Annapolis a couple of years ago - first time ever.  I really don' t have time to take up a new sport or hobby at this point, but after Thing 2 graduates - I'm thinking I could!

As for FH & I -we're on our 3rd trip without the Things.


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## itsbob

vraiblonde said:


> Oh, and since I took up golf I've lost count of the number of women who've said to me, "I always wanted to do that!"  So what's the problem?  Let's go!  And they reply, "Oh, I don't have time...."  Yes, you do.  "I don't have clubs..."  You can use mine and we'll share.  "I don't know how to do it..."  That's what learning is for.
> 
> Stop saying you WANT to do something, and just go freaking DO it.



We met a couple last week-end that used to golf together, but with the aging process so went their knees, and so went golf.. 

Instead of giving up, they found a new sport to do together.. Sporting Clays.

They both learned together, neither having done skeet, skeet, skeet or trap.. and they are both at about the same level of ability.

I've talked to BG about finding SOMEthing (sport like) to do together that we both enjoy and so far we are still searching.. I LOVE the idea of Sporting Clays, but I don't think there are any ranges local.. Skeet, skeet, skeet just doesn't sound as fun..


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## itsbob

WOOT!!  Sanners Lake has SPORTING CLAYS!!

Who'd a thunk??


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## SoMDGirl42

GWguy said:


> Since last week, amongst other things....
> 
> View attachment 98524
> View attachment 98525
> View attachment 98526
> View attachment 98527



Great pics! Looks like "fun".


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## kom526

"We don't stop playing because we grow old. We grow old because we stop playing." ~ Ben Franklin

Coaching 2 youth soccer teams
Playing soccer every Friday night
Rugby every other Sunday

As far as having friends over, sometimes it doesn't work out, especially if you live out in the sticks. I've had a couple of hardcore folks make the journey though.


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