by Ken King

Okay, I guess it’s about time I did another article. Seeing how a lot has happened over the past several weeks one would think it would be easy to knock out a new piece. In fact it has been difficult on settling with a topic and once I have decided upon it, staying with it.

As I have been off of work for the past ten or so days (using some of that annual leave I earn and getting out of the “use or lose” category) the wife and I decided to go up to Baltimore to experience the aquarium. She had been there years ago, but this was a first for me. I was somewhat excited about the trip. The place was easy enough to find and we were able to find parking extremely close to the entrance. So far, not too bad. That would change shortly as we observed numerous school busses unloading the little tykes.

Once inside it became obvious that there was little to no parental supervision for these curtain crawlers. They all seemed to be trying to yell at the top of their lungs and were running about in what appeared to be a demonic manner. We tried to go in a different direction then the masses at the exhibits and headed for the dolphin show at the far end of the complex. We arrived just as the show was starting and enjoyed the demonstration immensely. It was “all good” until the show was over and the 750 people viewing the show now mixed with the other ungodly children. The once quiet observers of the show seemed to pick up the mood of the pack and they too increased the amount of noise and aggravation. Their behavior was awful compared to the handful of non-school associated patrons I observed. Which also included some children, but they were under the watchful eyes of their parents, unlike the demonic brood under the supervision of chaperones.

At one point I commented to some of them to quiet down and act like the little women and men that they should be when visiting a facility such as this. That did no good as these under supervised kids continued to run about and beat upon the glass enclosures, not to mention giving me the middle finger salute. Due to this, the noise level, and the constant running and pushing going on we decided to cut our stay short and get out of this child made Hell.

Getting back to the parking lot we discovered that our car had become the target of some of the local city dwellers and it had been broken into. Nothing was taken as there was nothing to steal left in it (we aren’t so stupid as to leave valuables in the car). But that didn’t stop the culprit from breaking out a side window and scrounging through our possessions. To make matters worse was that when I called the “finest” of Baltimore (the police) I was informed that they wouldn’t respond to a simple break-in of an automobile. Even though the culprit had left obvious finger prints on the door of the car. I gave the operator an earful and she finally agreed to take the report via telephone and provide an incident report number for my insurance purposes. The days tally so far was $35 for tickets to the aquarium and $350 for a new side glass (without installation). The parking lot kindly voided my $5 payment considering that the incident took place within their lot. All in all, it was one screwed up adventure. Note: I have also sent a letter to the Mayor and let him know what he can do with his city and police force.

It has also firmed my belief that even though the major cities have more options for entertainment then the rural areas they also have a lot more crime. I guess it comes with the territory, but it is something I can do without. I personally will never again venture into the city of Baltimore no matter the reason. I will stay down here where life is slower and there is (supposedly) less to do (though I have never been wanting). If I want to see aquatic life I will do so via the Internet. If I want to watch a ball game I will do it via television. And if I am ever in need of assistance I sure as hell hope it isn’t within the jurisdiction of the Baltimore police force. They just don’t seem to care.

If you decide to go to the Baltimore Aquarium in the near future be prepared for the unpleasantness that you might find there. Granted my experience might not be the norm, as it was my first experience with Baltimore, but you can bet your bottom dollar it will be my last with that city.

On a side note I had more fun at Christy and Steve’s party then I had in Baltimore and it was only 15 miles away and cost a hell of a lot less. Not to mention I left one of my other cars sitting on the street near their house and nothing happened to it. Hell the kids even behaved a lot better, maybe it was because their parents were with them and they were not being handled by inadequate chaperones. Anyway as summer approaches and you are looking for something to do I recommend that you do it as far away from Baltimore as possible. That is if you value your belongings.