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Everything I Know About Dating, I Learned in Kindergarten by Curt Degenhart
Explode your dating world. Reject all the rules, motherly advice, insipid ideas about what guys want, and other pop schlock. The time is now for a total annihilation of how you think about dating and relationships. This ain't gonna be easy.
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Everything I Know About
Dating, I Learned in Kindergarten
by Curt Degenhart
Explode your dating world. Reject all the rules, motherly
advice, insipid ideas about what guys want, and other pop
schlock. The time is now for a total annihilation of how
you think about dating and relationships. This ain't gonna
be easy.
Making Up My Own Rules
MatchScene itself published "25 rules from men to
women." I had a very good laugh. In fact, it reminded
me of lists I used to make with my friends back in 8th
grade: a bunch of us boys would get together, list all the
girls in our class, and rate them as to their positive and
negative attributes. That was then. Now, I've got a better
idea. Why not just make one rule for guys to live by:
"I'll do whatever I want to do"? When you find
that very few partners will put up with that, you'll have
to figure out what other rules you can live by. Can't say
you didn't try.
From Boy to World: 9 Rules
You could say that I think all these rules men and women
are making up about each other, for each other, are
nothing but the ravings of boys and girls grown tall.
In response to the legacy these lists of rules have left
us, I've come up with my own list - from a little boy to
little girls. Please, pass it on.
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Don't touch my
blocks. They're mine. I don't want to share. If I
do decide to share, you'd better give me something
I want in return.
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I never think about
you unless you're with me. I'm not really aware of
others. In fact, I hardly think about myself. Of
course, I'm very young and haven't developed the
cognitive abilities one needs to think much at all
about myself or others.
-
If I'm not nice to
you, tough. Go play with the girls. Maybe we can
talk again in a few years, or have some fun on the
playground behind the jungle gym. Please. Sorry I
was so mean. That's just the way we boys are. I
can't help myself. Is there any way I can make it
up to you, except this Sunday 'cause I'm already
busy.
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Girls have too many
shoes and too many clothes. I'm jealous. The only
way I'll get to wear an outfit with lots of
accessories is if I become a football player or a
rock star. I better start practicing.
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Boys don't cry. Only
sissy girls cry. If I fall down and hurt myself,
I'm not gonna cry, but I might go off and slug
someone. But no way do I cry. That wasn't a tear
you saw - that was from anger.
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Repeat: Boys are not
sensitive! Watch me smash this block tower!
ARRRRRGH!
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Don't complain about
the toilet seat. You're lucky I even hit the
toilet. I can barely reach the rim anyway. Mom
will clean it up if I make a mess. A few dribbles
never killed anybody, right? You have it easy, you
don't have to aim.
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I don't remember
important dates. I can barely remember my own
birthday, although I never would forget it
completely. I'd be pretty upset if you forgot it.
Don't forget me and my birthday! Sorry if I forget
your important dates, but it's your fault for not
reminding me. Sorry in advance for not
remembering.
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I like guns,
torturing spiders, and playing ball. Please
respect my needs. They're what a boy wants. What
can I say, that's how I am. I can do these things
whenever I want to. I might do something girly
with you later, only if you leave me alone now.
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